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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little miserable

449 replies

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

OP posts:
jemimapuddlepluck · 03/04/2023 08:55

Why on earth aren't you going ahead with the kids?! I would be moving heaven and earth to make sure my kids didn't miss out 🙄 and so would my DH. If i was the ill one, no way would I expect everyone else to miss out on their first holiday in 3 years because I had a bloody migraine. What kind of a mother would that make me? Take the kids for godsake!

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 08:55

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 03/04/2023 08:52

There are plenty of posts blaming the woman, accusing her of not wanting to go, being manipulative to stop the rest of the family going, being selfish, being dramatic and on and on. Don't worry, it's not just the imaginary man getting it in the neck, she is too.

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That is true also. My agreeing with one poster doesn’t mean I disagree with you or think that there is sexism only going one way.

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 03/04/2023 09:04

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 08:55

That is true also. My agreeing with one poster doesn’t mean I disagree with you or think that there is sexism only going one way.

Show quote history

It's just the nature of AIBU - lots of robust opinions! But there are some extremely annoying posters who pop up all the time claiming terrible bias against men and totally ignoring all the vitriol aimed at women. They like to huff and puff about 'if the sexes were reversed' and think they've proved their point with their own made-up scenario of how it goes. The ones doing it on this thread are on especially shaky ground but they're still persevering!

BartsLongLostBro · 03/04/2023 09:05

Just go! What a waste of trip/time off. She can relax at home.

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 09:09

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 03/04/2023 09:04

It's just the nature of AIBU - lots of robust opinions! But there are some extremely annoying posters who pop up all the time claiming terrible bias against men and totally ignoring all the vitriol aimed at women. They like to huff and puff about 'if the sexes were reversed' and think they've proved their point with their own made-up scenario of how it goes. The ones doing it on this thread are on especially shaky ground but they're still persevering!

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Thank you. That is interesting to know.

Excited101 · 03/04/2023 09:46

I genuinely don’t understand this. Of COURSE paracetamol and ibuprofen are doing nothing. But coedine or sumatriptan is very very probably all it takes- and both are available over the counter (possibly sumatriptan at boots only).

I don’t think there’s a ‘window’ for sumatriptan though I find it takes longer to kick in, if I’ve left it longer to take it in the first place.

There’s not a hope in hell I’d be missing this holiday, you need to take some authority if she’s not in a fit state to, and get her the medicines and give it to her to take. That and a nap will make her well enough to get on the plane, I can almost guarantee it.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 09:56

Excited101 · 03/04/2023 09:46

I genuinely don’t understand this. Of COURSE paracetamol and ibuprofen are doing nothing. But coedine or sumatriptan is very very probably all it takes- and both are available over the counter (possibly sumatriptan at boots only).

I don’t think there’s a ‘window’ for sumatriptan though I find it takes longer to kick in, if I’ve left it longer to take it in the first place.

There’s not a hope in hell I’d be missing this holiday, you need to take some authority if she’s not in a fit state to, and get her the medicines and give it to her to take. That and a nap will make her well enough to get on the plane, I can almost guarantee it.

There's a window for me, I have an hour from onset of headache or there's no point at all.

I still agree she should go unless so unwell she requires hospitalisation.

Bikeybikeface · 03/04/2023 09:58

They didn’t go did they.

Wombatbum · 03/04/2023 10:00

I get migraines. I’d still go if I had one as I’d feel very guilty making my family miss a holiday! Tell him to put his sunglasses on and he can sleep on the plane

Wombatbum · 03/04/2023 10:02

Apologies, she not he!

MaltedCow · 03/04/2023 10:05

JimnJoyce · 02/04/2023 16:32

if i woke up with a migraine on the morning i was due to go in holiday that afternoon I def wouldn't make the flight due to vomiting every 20 minutes for 6-8 hrs usually with diarrhoea too. However I would be telling my family to go without me and hopefully following on a couple of days later.

Same it's the vomitting for me, plus I get mini stroke style symptoms and loss of feelings in my hands and face so I'd not be able to make it to the plane, but not a hope in hell would my family miss out.

I'd send them on ahead and meet them there when I could next get a flight. Poor children!

Lizzt2007 · 03/04/2023 10:19

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 08:44

That is true, since I posted there has been an uptick of those sorts of posters. The one that sticks out was the one saying any male partner who did this would get a one way ticket out of their life as if migraines are a choice. 🙄

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God yeah, of course people choose to have something that can be so debilitating as to classed as a disability !!

farnhamgal · 03/04/2023 10:25

This whole thing is weird.

Just bloody go!!
If the migraine is that bad why hasn't she got some triptans and stronger pain relief than ibuprofen and paracetamol?

If she had the migraine before, why didn't you or she ask you to go out and get the triptans? Knowing you're going on holiday the next day?

Triptans, co-codamol and anti sickness would've been her best friend when this started out. It's weird that it was left so late to sort this migraine out (not saying the above will get rid of it completely) but surely you or she would bloody try knowing you've got a long flight for a 'much wanted' (doesn't sound like it) holiday the next day. And even weirder, you're all not going now because of this migraine?

Sounds like you all aren't too fussed about going tbh.
Weird set up
Weird that you and the teenage kids still aren't going

I would never stop my children from going on a family holiday because one party has a migraine. Wtf.

farnhamgal · 03/04/2023 10:28

DashboardConfessional · 02/04/2023 09:55

I couldn't disappoint my children and lose all that money just to avoid hurting my partner's feelings.

Same

Original poster
NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 03/04/2023 11:15

Sorry for the day updating. Because we were on the flight!!!

Things started to ease so rather than get the train we drove to the airport - paid a fortune for the on-site car park and fast track - and made it!! Goodness knows what we’ve forgotten…..
Her migraine had improved to the extent we could basically drag her through the airport and sleep on the flight. Now to enjoy the holiday - she’s doing much better

Thanks for all the tips and advice. Both being HCP she’s pretty clued up on managing migraines and most aren’t this bad but this one caught her out. Usually the codeine side effects are pretty debilitating and the 60mg is prescription only so we didn’t have any in stock. Triptans do help but only if taken promptly - this one started atypically so she thought it was just a headache at first.

Lesson learnt for future

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 03/04/2023 11:16

so glad you are on your way - have a lovely time

Ktime · 03/04/2023 11:16

Woo! That’s great news OP, very happy for you.

Have an amazing time! 🌴🌞

ConstanceOcean · 03/04/2023 11:24

Great update OP!!

rookiemere · 03/04/2023 11:31

Aw brilliant update OP !
I hope DW continues to feel better and you have a wonderful holiday.

BeautifulWar · 03/04/2023 11:33

Yay, hope you all have a lovely break.

Migraines can be tricky things!

PuddlesPityParty · 03/04/2023 11:39

Woo glad you made the flight and you can all enjoy your holiday

Excited101 · 03/04/2023 11:54

Ahh great! Glad you could make it!

IhearyouClemFandango · 03/04/2023 12:29

Ah great! Enjoy

RisingSunn · 03/04/2023 13:02

Great news! Enjoy!

Peachy2005 · 03/04/2023 15:00

Delighted with the update.

Just for avoidance of future stress, when she’s feeling better find out if she would have wanted the rest of you to go ahead without her or not…

Have a great holiday 🥳

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