Not To Tell My Employer

[Charliesunnysky10]

I'm struggling financially, but my 9-5 weekday office job pays minimum wage and I'm getting further into debt. In the past 3 months I've had to replace the broken boiler, sort the roof, and pay for repairs on my car until it eventually became unviable and I had to sell it.

I want to work my way out of the debt and also get out in the evenings and weekends so I'm not home worrying, and a job with these hours seemed the perfect solution.

But I asked informally a year ago when a friend suggested I come to work with her in a local coffee shop as they were extending the hours into the evenings for a bar. I was told permission will not be granted because it may impact on my ability to do my day job.

Since then, my financial situation has worsened and I spend hours in the evening with no money to go out and wishing I could put these hours to good use. My friend's bar is now a huge success and she persuaded me to apply. I was interviewed for the job and have been offered it. The manager said they will try to give me weekend hours rather than weekdays when I'm at my day job, but there will inevitably be weekday late evenings here and there. I don't go to bed till after 11pm anyway, so it's not like this will make a big difference and I felt so happy to be getting out and meeting people again.

Today, the manager messaged me to supply reference details. I had planned not to tell my boss and if they ever found out I'd have proved I can do both roles, and I will accept the punishment.

I'm not deceitful by nature, but I'm angry that I'm not allowed to get out of debt and need to put this first. I don't want to leave this job as I've been here 10 years and my co-workers are so lovely. I like the job here too, but it just doesn't pay well.

The problem I have is the reference - can I ask my former manager who left just over a year ago? She can hardly comment favourably on my honesty when I'm being so duplicitous, not asking my current boss - she will wonder why I'm not asking them. And she may know I'm required to seek permission.

I'm in a mess and I don't know where to turn.

@bpirockin Thank you. There's so much sense in what you've written there. Lots to think about.
They have given consent and I started this evening...Absolutely loved it! We'll see what the next 3 months bring and I'll review it then. I think working with younger colleagues might make me braver and not so conservative. I ruined 2 Stellas on the trot, and they were just like 'Chuck 'em....no big deal'.

Hi there, so sorry to hear all this trouble you've had to go through but so pleased you have a happy outcome. Just wanted to say I hope you get on ok in your extra job and it all works out well for you.

That's great to hear!!

Oh, that's great, op. Onwards and upwards!

Employment tribunals tend to be cheaper than gong to court as there is no fee and you don’t have to use a solicitor. You can represent yourself, or enlist the help of a voluntary agency or CAB.

Have you checked directly with HR?
They'd be better to ask than your manager.

One of my staff asked the same, I didn't know so checked with HR.

HR said "knock yourself out but if it starts impacting your job then we will revise".

Check your contract too.

This is true too, I have a clause in mine that says I can't work for a competitor for 12 months after leaving current company.

I checked with 3rd party and they advised it's not worth the paper it's written on. They can't prevent me seeking employment elsewhere and it wouldn't hold up if they tried to enforce it. Just wordy bullshit.

But still, ask HR, I think your manager should have referred it to them anyway rather than making the decision himself.

Just read the full thread!!

Congrats OP!!

@cannaecookrisotto Thank you and no problem...It was quite lengthy! HR told me to ask permission from my line manager.

Thank you to everyone for your kind wishes and advice.