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To ask Mum to contribute to hol costs

283 replies

JimmyKrankie · 19/03/2023 08:54

My mum is on her own since we lost Dad a few years ago.
We have asked if we go to Cornwall this year on holiday, would she like to come with us.
She said she would love to, and so we have gone ahead and booked a reasonably priced holiday cottage we think would suit.
She's never mentioned money, but then nor have we.
She is fully aware we are in the midst of a house renovation which has gone massively over budget, plus we had a recent unexpected vet bill and need to buy a new car this year. We have been concerned over Finances this year and she does know this.
She has never in my life helped me financially, even when I was on my own and struggled sometimes - and I never expected it (Although I probably would help my DD)
The balance of the holiday is now due. I want to ask her if she will pay something towards it. Its 3 of us, myself, DH and Mum.
Should I ask her to pay a third?
Is that unreasonable or fair?
Does she assume we are paying?
But then she's aware of our situation so it's annoying me she hasn't offered 🙄 she's not short of money.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


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Manthide · 07/05/2023 10:57

Grumpusaurus · 21/03/2023 18:40

Of course your mother should pay for her holiday! A third is actually quite generous, given it is a 2-bed property and she is getting one room and en suite by herself. A 60 to 40 split be a bit fairer. Don't ask, just tell her what she needs to pay. That should include a third of fuel and food too. You letting her join and is nice but does not mean you pay for everything.

I'm assuming you are being sarcastic! Surely the mother should pay for the whole holiday as they wouldn't be going if it wasn't for her!

1mabon · 08/05/2023 11:32

Clearly, you are not short of money otherwise you would not be going on holiday, however, I gave my son £250.00 toward the cost of a £1000.00 rental in Cornwall, i.e. my share for four of us.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 08/05/2023 11:39

JimmyKrankie · 19/03/2023 09:11

I assumed she would offer to pay her share knowing how tight we are financially.
We wouldn't have gone away at all, but thought Mum would like a holiday.
Obviously we will pay for petrol (4 hour drive each way) and will buy the majority of food/meals etc. I guess I just hoped she would understand our position this year is different to usual and offer to contribute, but she hasn't.

This makes no sense `'we wouldnt have gone away but thought mum would like a holiday" and yet you cant afford it and havent asked her to pay.

Erex · 08/05/2023 11:43

I doubt OP will be back, she hasn't posted since March... Someone resurrected a zombie thread.

KarmaStar · 08/05/2023 11:48

You booked a holiday for your mum's sake,according to your update,but didn't ask her first if she wanted to go,where or when she wanted to go,if she would contribute and now want her to pay a third?
plus the nonsense of booking a holiday you cannot afford.
honestly read back your posts.Yabvu based on the information given by you.

Ihatepickingausername3 · 08/05/2023 12:35

Unfortunately this should have been discussed right at the start.

Mamabear48 · 09/05/2023 10:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Mamabear48 · 09/05/2023 10:59

@LookItsMeAgain I didn’t take note of the date. Not sure why it bothered you so much you had to leave a comment

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