are we all just wank material?

[piqueen]

I've been speaking to a few different people online in a group for my hobby.
The women are all normal, the men have mostly been normal. (age from 20-50)
I've been speaking to 3 men, very polite. Everything on topic. As soon as the sun goes down, all 3 become rude, sexual innuendos and asking if I'm alone in bed.
Why?!
It is so boring and predictable and now I feel like leaving the group because its so fucking insulting.

This is a group where people can message privately only, and I get mostly messages from men, there are maybe 10x the amount of men on here than women. Now I'm wondering if they all come on just to talk dirty to women.

Of course they do, because most (not all) men think with their dicks!!!!

NAMALT

If the conversation is hobby related to then turn it sexual is nothing short of embarrassing. How to make an arse of yourself in one easy go. Hope you're able to stick with the hobby.

The MOST important thing to do when a woman is talking about sexual harassment is protect men. GOOD FUCKING JOB.

The hobby is clearly pole dancing though

no, all men are like that. Some are just better at hiding it. All men benefit from misogyny Hood men need bad men to look not as bad. Men need to sort their shot out.

op. I’m sorry this has happened to you. Seems no where is safe from male violence. I’m so sorry

the hobby is creative writing and poetry. Strictly no sexual reference in the group. it is why I chose it.
. Come 10 o clock, 10 o cock.
At least now I know why there are so many men and so little women.
I'm looking for similar groups, they aren't very popular (except for men trying to sneakily talk about their sexual preferences)
I was chatting to one and asked what book he is reading currently- erotic literature was his answer. It's a group for reading and writing and poetry. not to get your rocks off

I've seen my own father act like this, all of my uncles, male cousins. The only man that hasn't been like this is gay. Perhaps they don't do it to other men?

Basically, with exceptions so few as to be statistically meaningless, they are 🤷

I had to give up, of all things, Online Scrabble because of unwanted messages. For context, I am 44, overweight and wear glasses. Not exactly love's young dream.

Yep being online seems to give these inadequate men courage.
GROUP SCENARIO
Woman joins online group to share interest with like minded people.
Man joins online group to fake share interest with women he can hit on.
Woman joins online group to perhaps extend her social group.
Man joins online group hoping to extend his sex life.
Woman leaves group to get away from being pestered.
Man stays in group hoping next woman to join has poor boundaries and will put up with being harassed.

Unfortunately I am not surprised OP. It's shit. Very shit.

Not that you should have to do this, but, could you change your profile to make it look like you are male or give yourself a neutral name?

Yes all men are like that.

@piqueen I've encountered what you describe, but perhaps not as extreme. And indeed it's something that has ruined certain activities or groups for me. I've seen men deliberately "hit" on women, and really wonder what they are doing? What can't we have a normal conversation? Are they really stupid enough to think I'd engage with them?

That's different from the "wank material" though. I'd have some of that in my own mind :) but it would be very specific people, and of course I'd never let such a person know ... so very much the opposite in fact.

Clearly they're not. Not "all" men go online and join groups about creative writing in order to harass women. Every time someone generalises like this it means one step back for equality and equity. It's not so much self-harm as harming 50% of the population. If we are to acheive equality we need to persuade men to fight for it alongside us. Saying they're all bad people isn't a good way to do this because it's clearly not the case.

Come 10 o clock, 10 o cock. 😂

This is exactly it.
@piqueen Is there another group you could join instead? It might make just a few of them think if you send a message to say you’re leaving because of the harassment you received from the men in the group.
Does the group have a moderator?

Go one step further and give the impression you're Transgender... Creative writing, innit.

This is making me quite sad, it’s so out of place and desperate. I once belonged to a writers’ group and this dude sent out erotic fiction. He seemed utterly sincere and genuine about wanting female feedback. Alarm bells obviously but some of us read it, just in case it turned out fella was the next Henry Miller. It was exactly what you’d fear, adolescent fantasy, lacy stockings and gasping and submission. Not literature, just a word-wank. Was an interesting insight into his psyche. It think these dudes you know need to think a bit more creatively if they really want to repel women😂

In my experience, there's a small but significant percentage of men that do this kind of thing online. This is horrible. There needs to be more safe spaces where they police rhese these things better. It gives men a bad reputation when many are nice and wouldn't treat a woman this way.

I do think there’s a perception that women only join hobby groups to find men, so the men in these groups think they are easy pickings and just dying to be harassed in the name of desperation.

You only have to look on here at a dating thread and the replies will be full of people telling women to join a hobby group to meet men.

As to the NAMALTs riding to the defence of the poor iddle men - maybe not all but enough that we all know one and know exactly what the OP has experienced.

As you are so keen to defend the honour of men, perhaps your time would be better spend on websites where they congregate so you can police their speech instead of women? No? Because you don’t actually care all the much.

What a load of rubbish. Statistics say otherwise.

You've gone off on some irrelevant tangent about equality.

Unfortunately, even trying to create a women only group these days is difficult, as you will be berated for not 'being kind' to the man in lipstick who wants to join. Depressing as fuck.

Yep many men barely evolve beyond being simple, basic creatures who have the benefit of testosterone & ego to fool them into believing they are higher level beings & sex gods women should be grateful for.