are we all just wank material?

[piqueen]

I've been speaking to a few different people online in a group for my hobby.
The women are all normal, the men have mostly been normal. (age from 20-50)
I've been speaking to 3 men, very polite. Everything on topic. As soon as the sun goes down, all 3 become rude, sexual innuendos and asking if I'm alone in bed.
Why?!
It is so boring and predictable and now I feel like leaving the group because its so fucking insulting.

This is a group where people can message privately only, and I get mostly messages from men, there are maybe 10x the amount of men on here than women. Now I'm wondering if they all come on just to talk dirty to women.

NAMALTBIAM

not all men are like that but its always men

No but most are especially when surrounded by other men

I think it would be a shame for you to leave the group because of their behaviour.

Perhaps take control, ask other women in the group if this has happened to them. Perhaps report the men, but at least show their texts to others. Name names. The best outcome would be for them to leave the group.

But if nothing else let them know it’s out of order.

Theres a woman on the internet who says when she gets disgusting texts etc, she tracks down their mothers on Facebook? and asks if he is their son and sends screenshots. Obviously she is much younger, but I wonder if a raddled 50 year old male would be upset if his mum knew what he is doing.

Please don’t give up.

@FellOnMyArseToDay Hood men need bad men to look not as bad.
So you are saying there are no good men. Only less bad men who rely on bad men to make them look good.

What a ridiculous statement.

Perhaps the NAMALTs just dislike stupid statements. Of course not all men are like that. Not all anyone is like anything. Crap men being crap doesn't make stupid statements valid.

I don't have anything like the online life I used to have, partly because of 'this'. Obviously I'm here, but not in many places.

One of my great disappointments in online 'discourse' was when a man I admired professionally turned out to have a sleazy side.

Yes it's constant, the majority of women join groups to improve mental health, knowledge and in some cases to make friends, a huge portion of men join groups because they think it might lead to a shag.
Oh if you're a man don't bother to correct me, you do not get to say what my lifetime of experiences have been.

TMMALT

I have come to the conclusion that men and women can't be friends. I wouldn't even entertain it anymore, it's a shame as I also enjoy men's company as women's. They all seem to think you have the hots for them.

It’s incredibly sad that you think that but no, not all men are creeps.

OP, I think online groups can attract the type of men who get off on messaging women inappropriately. It’s disgusting and such a shame that it’s making you reconsider being part of the group.

Is there an organiser you can talk to? Updating the group rules and implementing a no tolerance rule to sexual messages could help get rid of the weirdos.

the older i get, the less patience i have for NAMALT. i think there is always enough men like this to constantly ruin shared spaces. the only option is women only groups - and if anyone knows of any for creative writing, please let me know, i'm looking for one.

I'd give them a piece of my mind and tell them to fuck off messaging me or I'd ask for them to be out of the group. bastards.

Having worked largely with women I'd say from my experience women aren't much better.

The trick to online scrabble is to change your name to a male one. Since I did that over a year ago, I haven't had a single sleaze monster message me.

Spot on. Too many are, but to say all are is just plain stupid

@piqueen this is my experience too - it's so annoying. I found this sketch sums it up!!

How guys talk to girls before vs after 10pm:

No purpose?!?!?!? What do you get out of being married then? I wonder what your DW thinks.

Yes, NAMALT but somehow ALWAYS a fucking man! Funny that.

Yep and it's infuriating. I'm on an outdoor swimming group and if any female posts pics in swimwear, a core of men appear to say she looks great or make 'jokes' like - 'gorgeous, and the river isn't bad either'. Some of the women seem to enjoy it too which is obviously their business but to me, also infuriating

You can’t actually be confused.
Ask yourself, what do men want from women.
That’s what he gets out of being married.
it’s sex and chores. That’s what he gets out of it.
It’s really not a mystery or unusual.

According to men every app is a dating app if you want it to be.

I think I'd thought that maybe it had somehow all got a lot better because I wasn't encountering this constantly like I was in my 20s. Then, like another poster, I had to change my name on bloody scrabble because of creeps and then I went out for a drink on a weekend night for the first time in ages - a drink with my dad! - and two drunken men really grimly hit on me. It was absolutely mortifying, and made me realize that it hasn't got any better, I just leave the house a lot less than I did when I was 25...

Interesting comment from someone choosing to read a 90% female forum