are we all just wank material?

[piqueen]

I've been speaking to a few different people online in a group for my hobby.
The women are all normal, the men have mostly been normal. (age from 20-50)
I've been speaking to 3 men, very polite. Everything on topic. As soon as the sun goes down, all 3 become rude, sexual innuendos and asking if I'm alone in bed.
Why?!
It is so boring and predictable and now I feel like leaving the group because its so fucking insulting.

This is a group where people can message privately only, and I get mostly messages from men, there are maybe 10x the amount of men on here than women. Now I'm wondering if they all come on just to talk dirty to women.

Yuck.
Join a women's group?

It’s cringe as fuck.

Having experienced it by getting unwanted suggestive messages from a gay guy I worked with, it really opened my eyes to the problem that women have long raised with any digital platform that has a messaging feature.

Are there any left?

@Mark19735 at the end of the day you’re the one getting defensive because some women dare to admit they don’t really like men, based on nothing but their own experiences.

More and more women are seeing a common problem. AIBU has hosted more discussions on this in the last year than I can remember there being in the previous 10+ years. I’m not convinced this is because a merry band of man-haters have spread their saltiness - that tends to be an ineffective way to find friends and influence people - it’s because they are learning from their own experiences.

Interesting post. Does this mean that women should restrict themselves to flower arranging and dressmaking?

OH likes poetry, always has. He also cooks and bakes. He even sewed the girls costumes for one of the dress up days when they were little (teddy bears). Maybe there's something wrong with him.

Maybe he just genuinely likes those things.
Did he get a lot of praise for sewing the costumes?

Did he get a lot of praise for sewing the costumes?

They were OK. I was away for work and was meant to make them princess dresses but didn't have time. So he just got stuck in, read the manual for the sewing machine and bought a pattern and material. The girls thought they were great and had to keep them on to show mummy. They were teddy bears for most of the the weekend. As for praise, I was pleased he'd done it (though I thought he'd just buy a couple of outfits from ghe shops) as far as he was concerned he was their dad and that's just what you did. He did some more sewing, seemed to quite enjoy it, at least it was cleaner than working on the car or allotment.

I am :( what a shit world we live in at times. That good men need bad men to look less shit. Men as a class need to sort their house out.

Statistically impossible.

Yes all men are like that.

Statistically impossible.

Not on Mumsnet, here it's the norm.

I suspect that when it comes to dating a lot of mumsnetters would pass on the 'nice' guys because they're not as much fun.

would pass on the 'nice' guys because they're not as much fun.

I hope this tired old trope ends soon.
Also, no one is owned a relationship, and no one has to date anyone they don’t find ’fun’, if they don’t want to.

I knew a 'I'm a nice guy' once. He fell out with me when I married my DH (a genuinely nice guy) because apparently he was waiting for me to 'grow out of my bad boy phase' and then I owed it to him to be in a relationship with him because he had bothered to be friends with me for so long.

I find men who call themselves 'nice guys" and moan women don't like them because they are too nice generally aren't actually that nice under all that (and can even stray into incel territory). Genuinely nice guys don't feel the need to announce they are nice because they take their behaviour as normal and standard

And if anything what the women of mumsnet generally seem to be looking for (the ones into men at any rate) is a man who will pick the kids up from school, do the washing up without being asked, not expect sex a week after you have given birth, hold down a job and doesn't try to physically, financially or emotionally abuse them. So I mean yeah if you call that fun then sure MN women just wanna have fun

It’s so tiresome

sadly too many men (I couldn’t give a fuck it’s not all men the issue is it’s far too many men think it’s fine to push boundaries)

I really can’t be bothered anymore once this starts I just cut them off I wish fewer women would pander to this but it’s become so normalised I understand why they don’t

Exactly. Why aren't we as kind to women who simply want to congregate together and do fun things, without harassment.