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Original poster

Would your husband go to work in this situation?

208 replies

Cantcookhavetocook · 13/03/2023 04:49

I think I know the answer but just wondering really…

We’ve got a 3 month old and an almost 3-year-old. The older one had major sickness and diarrhoea on Friday night/ Saturday morning and it has now passed to me, so I started being sick and having diarrhoea last night (Sunday night) around 8pm and had my latest bout of vomiting about half an hour ago (04:00 Monday morning). The baby is EBF and having a very restless night so I’ve been up a lot with him, and changing his nappy has made me sick so I’ve had to do that into a bucket (lovely).

My husband starts a new job today, sort of within the same organisation but a promotion and a different team which he will lead. He usually WFH most days but was planning to go to site to kick things off today (Monday), leaving at 05:45 and back home around 19:00. He says he has felt queasy all night but hasn’t been sick or anything. It was also him dealing with the older one when she was poorly as I was downstairs with the baby.

It’s going to be such a hard day with both kids (we also have 2 dogs and 2 cats) but I understand he wouldn’t want to start off badly in his new role. I guess it’s just one day and the littlun was much better after about 16 hours. I am worried about symptoms starting in the baby, though, and life with two children is already tricky as among other reasons our kitchen is downstairs and bathroom
upstairs (doesn’t sound much but it is a lot of hassle up and down stairs, opening and closing baby gates, making sure the children are never left alone etc).

I am just wondering, would your husband still go out to work in this situation? I haven’t said anything but I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t- but I get why he is. Hope this makes sense!

OP posts:
rainyalan · 13/03/2023 04:53

Because he starts a new job and it's just one day I'd plow through and ask family or a friend to help you out today.

ZekeZeke · 13/03/2023 04:55

He shouldn't be going into work if he is feeling queasy and pass it onto other people.

Bloody selfish of him.

Kingsize · 13/03/2023 04:55

My dh would, and has had to leave me in similar situations before. Personally with the bathroom upstairs, I would make a camp up there for the day with the stairgate closed at the top of the stairs. Bring up enough drinks and snacks to get through til lunchtime. Throw down a load of toys and books for the 3yr old, put on a tv or tablet if you have one, and just do the bare minimum for one day.

I really hope it eases up for you soon and that the baby doesnt come down with it too

JunkinDonuts · 13/03/2023 04:56

Yes, but only because I'd make him go.

DoAWheelie · 13/03/2023 04:56

I'm sure getting his entire new team sick will leave a great first impression.

No he shouldn't go in.

KingFisherSalmon · 13/03/2023 04:57

Yes he would and wouldn’t do anything to logistically help beforehand but he is terrible in these sort of situations.

I would also go to work in these situations but I would be up and doing lots to prep beforehand to make your day easier. I possibly would also leave a bit later.

Ive been in this situation so my recommendations would be:

Bedroom is your base today. Get your husband before he leaves to make a packed lunch and lots of snacks for your 3 year old. Make sure iPad/kindle is charged. Lots of non messy toes for 3 year (duplo etc). If they watch tv all day today that’s fine.

Lots of bottles of water for you. Painkillers. Also some snacks if you feel better later (so plain biscuits, bananas).

Lots of towels near by. Have nappies and wipes close by.

Get him to sort pets out before he goes (feed them, take dogs out for quick walk etc).

Ponderingwindow · 13/03/2023 05:05

My workplace has a strict policy of no onsite admittance with any illness symptoms, even mild. We gave a very generous wfh policy. he should not be going to the office and getting his team sick if this day could possibly be rescheduled.

lets suppose for a moment that his manager and his team won’t hate him for brining this kind of illness to work and just focus on should he stay home to help you. The new job does add a wrinkle. Again, if he was going in and wouldn’t be somehow getting everyone sick, I would say that perhaps in this special circumstance you should push through today. Only because it is a new job and only if we are suspending reality and ignoring that he is bringing a virus to work.

HoppingPavlova · 13/03/2023 05:33

I’d go to n this situation, and also if I was the person at home I’d be happy to suck it up in this particular one-off situation (first day, new job). If it was a job I’d already been doing then my answer would be different.

CornishTiger · 13/03/2023 05:33

Mine would but I don’t think yours should.

The team won’t appreciate getting a bug!

DDivaStar · 13/03/2023 05:35

No he shouldn't be going in to spread around vomiting and diahoreah bug when he can work from home.

MiddleParking · 13/03/2023 05:44

Both of us would go to work in his position.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/03/2023 05:46

It's his first day. Of course he should go in.

You're just going to have to battle through today. It's one day.

(Not sure why having two cats and dogs has anything to do with the situation; that's your choice!)

Dentistlakes · 13/03/2023 05:47

He wouldn’t go if he was sick himself but otherwise he would. He never stayed off when I was sick, even when he wasn’t in a new job. We do have our PIL nearby though and they did have to come and look after the children on one occasion when DH was travelling and I couldn’t physically look after them I was so ill. i don’t know what I would have done in that situation otherwise.

Fam23 · 13/03/2023 05:47

If he wasn’t feeling nauseated then I’d agree with him going in. I think with the family suffering from a sickness bug and him now feeling sick he should stay away to avoid spreading it to his colleagues. Not a great start to a new position but can’t be helped.

Eyerollcentral · 13/03/2023 05:48

Of course he would, even if he wasn’t starting a new job. As someone else said camp upstairs if you can for most of the morning. It will be crap but you will survive, which is all you have to achieve for the day.

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 13/03/2023 05:49

Unless it’s a health or care setting mine would, as would I. He’s an adult, I would expect him to be scrupulously clean in the bathroom and not share his lunch or cups/cutlery.

but then I’d expect that on a normal day.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 13/03/2023 05:52

First day! I would hope so, or way to create a terrible first impression. Otherwise I'd say no, so he doesn't pass it onto anyone else, and obviously to give you a break too

Wingingit11 · 13/03/2023 06:07

Of course he should go in. It’s hard with two young kids sick but it’ll be fine.

Flittingaboutagain · 13/03/2023 06:10

Anything aside from Covid or D&V and yes, his first day he'd go in. But one of those, no. It's irresponsible to infect the team to say the least.

Murphyturphy · 13/03/2023 06:10

I was going to say he should go but he’s starting to feel unwell himself. I’d not be happy if my boss came to work with a V&D bug to spread around.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 13/03/2023 06:12

Yes your husband should go to work seen it's a new job and his first day.

wesriut · 13/03/2023 06:16

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GnomeDePlume · 13/03/2023 06:22

Same organisation and normally WFH? Absolutely not if he is starting to get the same symptoms.

Nobody is going to thank him for spreading D&V bug. Terrible first impression for a new team.

MarieRoseMarie · 13/03/2023 06:23

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Peony26 · 13/03/2023 06:23

Mine would definitely. But tbf I wouldn’t expect him not too. I would just have the easiest day I could and get on with it.