Would your husband go to work in this situation?

[Cantcookhavetocook]

I think I know the answer but just wondering really…

We’ve got a 3 month old and an almost 3-year-old. The older one had major sickness and diarrhoea on Friday night/ Saturday morning and it has now passed to me, so I started being sick and having diarrhoea last night (Sunday night) around 8pm and had my latest bout of vomiting about half an hour ago (04:00 Monday morning). The baby is EBF and having a very restless night so I’ve been up a lot with him, and changing his nappy has made me sick so I’ve had to do that into a bucket (lovely).

My husband starts a new job today, sort of within the same organisation but a promotion and a different team which he will lead. He usually WFH most days but was planning to go to site to kick things off today (Monday), leaving at 05:45 and back home around 19:00. He says he has felt queasy all night but hasn’t been sick or anything. It was also him dealing with the older one when she was poorly as I was downstairs with the baby.

It’s going to be such a hard day with both kids (we also have 2 dogs and 2 cats) but I understand he wouldn’t want to start off badly in his new role. I guess it’s just one day and the littlun was much better after about 16 hours. I am worried about symptoms starting in the baby, though, and life with two children is already tricky as among other reasons our kitchen is downstairs and bathroom
upstairs (doesn’t sound much but it is a lot of hassle up and down stairs, opening and closing baby gates, making sure the children are never left alone etc).

I am just wondering, would your husband still go out to work in this situation? I haven’t said anything but I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t- but I get why he is. Hope this makes sense!

If he uses hand sanitiser and a face mask, there's no reason why it should spread.

DHs work actually had a policy for this... if the partner was too ill to provide safe childcare they got a sick day, or could leave early.

As it sounds like he is going down with it, no he shouldn't go in.

A bit baffled by the animals comments. Presumably you exercised some choice in having your kids too.

Given that it’s the same organisation, he feels queasy and he can wfh he really shouldn’t go in, that’s just irresponsible.

As a PP has said - just do the bare minimum today. Good luck.

No, not if he was feeling queasy. Chances are he'll start vomiting at work now.

I'm surprised at the number of people saying they'd go into work with possible D&V. If he's feeling queasy it sounds as though he could be coming down with the same bug. Norovirus cases are high at the moment. Hope you and your DC are feeling better soon OP.

I know it's going to me a horrendous first impression!

No my DH wouldn’t. And neither would I.

our work would be utterly furious if they heard we’d gone in to work with D&V.

Agree totally. I thought the same

If I found out a coworker had come in with D&V symptoms and family infected at home, I'd be making a complaint against them. It's bloody selfish.

Just to add a different perspective I‘d be very surprised if my husband went in to work in these circumstances. I think if you’re still ill and throwing up expecting you to look after a small baby and toddler is asking a lot. I really don’t think missing one day of work is the be all and end all. He could take a sick day himself and you could get through it together. This all of course depends on his job and your finances etc but that is what I would do in the same situation.

He’s feeling queasy. Chances are he’ll be shitting and vomiting at work.

Not nice for the cleaners and the people using the facilities and chances are others will catch it regardless of masks and hand sanitiser use. It’s not a magic shield.

Nobody should be going to work with d&v its incredibly selfish

My husband probably would, but I don't think yours should. It's the same organisation so they know he isn't one to fake illness and he can work from home. He shouldn't risk spreading something which is obviously very contagious

If it’s norovirus, hand sanitiser doesn’t kill that, and if he has D&V at work then each time that happens the virus stays airborne for a short time afterwards, infecting people who use the toilet and breathe it in, and virus particles land nearby which people pick up on their hands and then get infected that way.

He should stay at home if he feels unwell. Nobody will thank him for spreading a bug around on his first day.

I would hope my partner would explain that there is a sickness bug in the house, so it's probably best all round for him to WFH for the day, so as a) not to pass it on and b) be there to help out at home

If it wasn't his first day he would take the day off and look after the children.

My husband would definitely go to work in your situation and I wouldn't Blame him on the first day of a new job. Hope you feel better.

Yes, I would not have any issues with him going to work, if he is feeling ok himself.
Especially since is a new role.

Mine would, even for his normal job. His work ethic is rather extreme. Although tbf he’d also clear off if it was for a boys day out, but he’d ensure that everything had been cleaned and the pets were sorted so I just had to ‘exist’ for the day. He wouldn’t call once he left though as he wouldn’t want to risk being called home.

But he’s not. He’s already said he’s feeling queasy.

He shouldn't be taking a sickness bug to the team if he's feeling ill, I guess it'll be hard for you to keep the children quiet enough for him working from home but that's the best option. You're asking because you think he should not work so that he can look after the kids though, and that's not reasonable. If he starts treating his job as an optional hobby, he will risk losing it. Presumably you've worked before, to see how unreasonable this is imagine if you were working and he was home, how would that call go with your manager "DH feels sick, so I can't work."?

Have a relaxing day with the kids; lots of tummy time on a mat for the baby, sit the 3yo in front of something engrossing like duplo or crafts mixed up with TV time, lie on the sofa and go to be sick when needed.

It sounds like, hard though it would be, you should be able to plough through and since it’s a first day in a new role, that’s what I’d expect to do. However, if I were him, I wouldn’t want to be taking that bug into work and have half my team off sick later this week - that’s a poor decision regardless of having family.

Not sure him staying off would do you much good, though, if he’s going down with it just as you’re recovering (assuming a 16 hour cycle for you two like your toddler).

Yes he would. I'd be fine about it.

Depends what he means by queasy.

It's his first day, so tough as it might be, I think you need to suck it up with regard to looking after the children.

However, you said he is feeling queasy. If he thinks he is coming down with the bug himself, then obviously, he shouldn't go in and pass it around to others. That would be incredibly selfish and irresponsible.

Can he wfh today and go in another day?

He should be WFH today purely to avoid taking a sickness big to his new team! Nobody will be thanking him for the great first impression he made on them as their heads are in the toilet tomorrow morning.

Don't be ridiculous 🤣 millions of families have multiple pets!