Would your husband go to work in this situation?

[Cantcookhavetocook]

I think I know the answer but just wondering really…

We’ve got a 3 month old and an almost 3-year-old. The older one had major sickness and diarrhoea on Friday night/ Saturday morning and it has now passed to me, so I started being sick and having diarrhoea last night (Sunday night) around 8pm and had my latest bout of vomiting about half an hour ago (04:00 Monday morning). The baby is EBF and having a very restless night so I’ve been up a lot with him, and changing his nappy has made me sick so I’ve had to do that into a bucket (lovely).

My husband starts a new job today, sort of within the same organisation but a promotion and a different team which he will lead. He usually WFH most days but was planning to go to site to kick things off today (Monday), leaving at 05:45 and back home around 19:00. He says he has felt queasy all night but hasn’t been sick or anything. It was also him dealing with the older one when she was poorly as I was downstairs with the baby.

It’s going to be such a hard day with both kids (we also have 2 dogs and 2 cats) but I understand he wouldn’t want to start off badly in his new role. I guess it’s just one day and the littlun was much better after about 16 hours. I am worried about symptoms starting in the baby, though, and life with two children is already tricky as among other reasons our kitchen is downstairs and bathroom
upstairs (doesn’t sound much but it is a lot of hassle up and down stairs, opening and closing baby gates, making sure the children are never left alone etc).

I am just wondering, would your husband still go out to work in this situation? I haven’t said anything but I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t- but I get why he is. Hope this makes sense!

I think it depends on OHs work culture too.
While I think not starting a new job because family/wife/sickness is to be avoided at absolute all costs, some employers are more understanding than others.
My OH works in a very male dominated industry.
Taking time off to suport family is frowned upon.

My OH took one day off as paternity leave bith times I gave birth- taking more time is not the done thing.

Of the 70 or so employees at my OHs work there are only two women, and they work in HR/admin.

I’m sure the kids were her choice too but there’s still the issue of taking care of them….same with the animals. What an odd thing to say.

It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to call in sick on the first day of a new job!

Had it not been a new role, I'd have said he should stay home, but in this case I'm afraid not. Bless you though, there's nothing worse than having to parent with a bug. I really feel for you.

Do you have anyone else who could come to help?

tough one really…

• it’s his first day so I’d be reluctant to phone in sick too….
• but if he’s got the sickness bug it’s wrong of him to take it into work and spread it to others who could have auto immune diseases, pregnant wives, newborns, elderly relatives living with them etc….
• I used to work with someone who would go bonkers if anyone came into work unwell… she had cystic fibrosis and any illness could hospitalise her.
• As for leaving you with 2 children while unwell…. My ex still went into work when our DD was admitted to hospital and in high dependency.

As it's his first day he should make every attempt to get to the job. Don't you have any face masks left from covid? That should help and show willing.

My husband works away all week it's not commutable I have four children ranging from 11 9 3 and 7 months it's very hard and can be very lonely and of course we miss him when he's away but it makes our time together more special me and the children will be moving to be closer to his work place, but I think 3 days/ nights isn't that bad my dad was a marine so spent vast amount of time away from us when him and my mum wore together, but I think in realistic terms promotions don't come by everyday it will be giving your family a more comfortable lifestyle, and when your children are of an age of school there's lots of wrap around care so you can further your career, I don't expect anything from my husband if I've been the main care giver and working part time while raising the kids as I wouldn't want to do it any other way so I'm really grateful to be able to be there for the kids if anything as I see my friends struggle to work full time and juggle child care plus the guilt of not being at alot of things for there kids due to work commitments

I could have been on my deathbed and ex husband would have gone in. His career meant everything to him. Note the word ex there

Your husband HAD to go in, sorry. Day 1 and it would look really bad if he didn't. Hope you make speedy recoveries.