To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Dr serves the same function Dr D Wonder. You don't need to know my sex or my marital status to sell me a light fitting.

This. I use Ms and have done for years, and I certainly don't have "issues".

It's honestly fine when children call teachers by their name in school, they all do in my country and there's no breakdown in discipline because of it. But another option instead of using first names would be to use 'teacher' as the title e.g. please Teacher Jones, can I go to the loo?

I’ve been married 15 years and am and always have been a Ms. Why is my marital status anyone’s business? Love the fact that your 5yo is also a Ms… will take a leaf out of your book.

Your first post says "no-one uses Ms"

You are the one making stuff up. Clearly you can see by this thread some women do use Ms. Additionally, even though I write Ms and maiden name on forms I very often get Mrs Husbands surname come back somewhere down the line. School, family, friends etc. all changed my name by default once I was married and once I had children. Where was my choice in that?

People on this thread talk about choice but my experience of not changing my name or title after I got married has not been respected by numerous companies, family and friends.

The irony that nowadays it is seen as extremely bigoted not to use the correct pronoun for people who choose to use a gender that is not in line with their biological sex, and yet people on a daily basis not only refer to me with an incorrect title but also change my actual birth name to my husbands simply because I am married.

I also regularly receive emails addressed to 'Dear Sir' as default through work.

I can see why @Tunamayo81 believes women with title Ms don't exist. People refuse to accept our choice.

I’m married and I’ve always used Ms and also kept my own surname (which my husband now uses too). The personal is political! Use Ms.

Not at my children's school.
They are Mr, Ms, Mrs, Miss and Dr. and this is adhered to without fuss. No confusion.
They did have a new kid start who referred to the teachers as Miss and Sir and the other kids found this bizarre and dated.

Interestingly I am divorced and still Mrs and still use my ex husband’s surname. Main reason for surname is my kids. Main reason for Mrs is I can’t be bothered to changed all the paperwork involved. People do assume I’m married though.

This is extremely common (and not really that interesting?!).

There is no paperwork needed to change your title. It’s not a legally recognised thing.

Not surprising that women that default to changing their name because they want the same name as the children (who will be given their father’s name by default) keep the name when the marriage breaks down. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This

How about we just stop trying to remove choice from others by forcing them to do something that they don't necessarily want to do? I'm a married woman, in my late 30s. I use Mrs as my title. I like to use Mrs as my title. I also prefer to be addressed as my title surname when it's necessary. I use my husbands surname, because I like it better than my maiden name and it's the name my children use.

That’s fine. Would be lovely if people would respect my choice not to change my name or use Mrs and to be called by my first name though. We don’t all want to continue this misogynistic tradition.

(I’ve an aunt that sends cheques for my daughter addressed to me in my correct name (because she remembers that I couldn’t cash the wedding cheque as there is no bank account in any other name) in an envelope addressed to Mrs Husband’s name. Gentle reminders don’t work so I don’t bother opening/cashing them now.)

'Ms' isn't part of a massive woke plot. It has nothing to do with Mx.

Well, it certainly seems to be, going by this thread

Also would you please stop giving examples of other countries? We've had France, Finland, NZ and now the US

Why should we follow what's being done by the CBeebies, Minions,

YABU. Being a Miss isn’t divulging that you’re single. I’m in my early 30’s and can count on one hand those in my circle who are married. Interestingly, none of the married couples have DC. All of the couples in my friendship group with DC (which is the majority) are unmarried.

I’ve been with my fiancé 7 years, we have 2 DC and keep putting off a wedding as life gets in the way and there’s other things we’d like to spend our money on (bigger house, holidays etc) before pricing up a wedding.

My FIL has 3 ex-wives who have all kept the family name, so there are actually 3 Mrs B’s living within a 10 mile radius of us. Perhaps we wrongly assume that all Mrs are happily married.

I used to assume Ms was divorced/separated, purely because that’s what my mum used. I don’t think she ‘had issues’, she just didn’t want to “sound married” but wanted to keep the same family name as her children.

You mentioned you were purchasing something - if it was on credit they perhaps need a full name incl title for credit checks, but if it was paid for up front I’d have politely declined to answer if it bothers you so much.

Who are you, the thread police? Why can’t we discuss the cultural differences for titles across different countries?

Why can’t we discuss the cultural differences for titles across different countries?

Because there's an implication that the way it's done in other countries is better and therefore we should do the same. It's irritating

We don't care how others do it, this is the UK and we are allowed to have our own titles

I've used Ms since I was 18 and will continue to even if I get married.

@TheWitchOfShields

If using Ms, Mx, Miss, Frog, Lord, Microwave, Fridge, toilet etc is your preference for a prefix, pronoun, title etc then go for it.

Wow. Chip on your shoulder much? You can ask for others to respect your choices without pissing all over theirs.

It's the inequality that I object to.

This only affects women and men are free from the annoyance about using different titles, that many make assumptions about, that are often incorrect.

I am married and use Ms. My marital status is relevant in barely any situation. In theory, so is my gender but there are still a number of websites/systems that insist you use a title of some sort.

I guess there are some people who don't feel comfortable with the 'informality' of not using a title, but I'm personally happy being addressed by my first name rather than Ms Surname.

Yes this would be best.

I feel a bit sad that it won't happen due to all the "proud to be mrs" who'd object to any law just making everyone female a ms.

Who’s “we”? Insular Brexit voters? I’m interested in how women do things worldwide. This is the UK and it’s got a rich multicultural history, and we’re also allowed to discuss whatever we want here, including whether we should do away with archaic titles.

I got married recently to the father of my children. I'm in my early 40s. My children have their father's name (with mine as a middle name) but I'm still using mine as I can't let go of my name and don't want to really. It's so much part of who I am. I started using Ms a few years ago and still do. I don't really like how it sounds (although I'd tended to pronounce it Muz not Miz so i was wrong 🙈) but it seems like the most sensible option. If I used Mrs but kept my name then I think that would sound as though I was married to Mr myname and I'm not. I wear a wedding ring, I'm legally married and am not offended if someone calls me Mrs. DHname

My mum used to work in a shop and she always whinged about people who used Ms (i think she thought them a bit arrogant) so she's in her 60s and divorced and uses Miss again.

As someone else said I think the French are much better at this one! I hate the way women get defined by their relationship in that way. It's always annoyed me at work (I'm a teacher) cause the kids seems to think their female teachers' personal lives are their business when they change their name but Mr. So-and-so can have 3 wives in 2 years and nobody is any the wiser.

I think with medical records, you are automatically called Miss xx as a female child and Master xx as a male child. Master is changed automatically to Mr at a certain age, but Miss remains, no matter the age, unless you request to change it. Like many people, I never bothered to change mine, so I remained Miss x, both while single and married. I finally made a request to change it to Ms, still married, in my 50s.

It seems you've misread my comment @GrumpyPanda . Isn't that exactly what this thread is? Not respecting other people's choices of using titles by wanting to get rid of them? I certainly don't have a chip anywhere!

People should be free to use whatever title, name, surname, pronoun that they choose, not 'getting rid of' such just to satisfy others. Respect goes both ways - I'd like my choice of using my title as Mrs respected and I fully respect anyone elses choice of their title or no title if they choose. I don't automatically assume anyone's title or preferred name but if someone introduced themselves as Miss, Mrs, Ms etc, I fully respect that and would ask the same is extended to myself.

What I don't agree with is having titles removed so we no longer have an option just to appease others.

A little aside, @JudgeRudy I'm sure you didn't mean to but you've included mixed-race here for some reason, in a list of undesirable traits

Mrs Proud Wife could equally be Mixed-race, low IQ, 6/10
or Tory Lard Arse, Lefty Bad Breath.