To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

I use Ms and I've never been married. just feel too old to be a Miss

I think the point though is surely is about unburdening/unleashing yourself from these restraints not taking anything away from those that prefer to keep it. You can stay Mrs Folly Foot, just tell people, but the default setting will be neutral.
It's a non issue to you but to many people is very significant.

I prefer Mrs. Ms sounds like a sound rather than a word. A bit like Fleur and Hugh!!! And it's difficult to say, it doesn't flow early off the tongue.

Each to their own though. But I'd be annoyed if I didn't have the option.

It's a non issue to you but to many people is very significant

And it's very significant for many people to be addressed as 'Mrs'. Should they be ignored? Why?

So many bitter and miserabe people on this thread who want to force their misery on others

when I have to write official emails, lettered and forms, or even contact trades that I just use W H JOY

the reply is ALWAYS addressed to mr joy. Has been for last 30 years since I was first married and discovered the shot that comes with women’s titles.

i believe I get taken far more seriously and treated with some authority. It is very noticeable that when I meteor talk to that person and they realise I’m female there is an awkward pause and discomfort. I even had a man from the council telling me I had lied to him, he was very angry- my sex and marital status had zilch todo with the issue - just my address and the fact I paid council tax .

so, I shall continue to use MR or nowt as much as possible. I avoid telling anyone who doesn’t need to know that I’m a women .

when pushed I’m a Ms ..always have been. It’s no one business but mine what my marital status is. Yep, lots of people even young don’t like women using it or see the women as a zealous feminist…but they’ve not been on the end of gender stereotyping and misogyny for 4 plus decades and counting

I am Mrs. I occasionally use it in writing I’d I know they will reply addressed to Mrs. (They usually reply to miss/ms and it’s an excellent opportunity to point out they aren’t paying attention to detail! 😉 different point!)

If someone is being rude or over familiar I tell them my name is Mrs concertgoer. I think I’ve done it once, in a work setting.
the rest of the I tell them to use my first name as Mrs concertgoer is my mother in law !! (& her mother in law!!)

@Arapawa I'm not so sure Mx does mean non binary though. I use it. It means I'm not declaring my gender or marital status. It's the most neutral title of all. You could still be Mx Girlie Vag or Mx Tommy Testy or Mx Sam Smith....and you could be married to or divorced from each other or single, dating or part of a throuple!

I’m not trying to force anyone. Nor am I bitter and miserable

next time you’re dealing with someone when you have a problem or complaint, try not to use a title and see the stereotyping in full force when they reply toyou as Mr.

i just think women are constantly judged by the title they’re using- whatever it is. So I’m a big advocate of just initials and let them decide for themselves what they assume about me

I haven't fallen victim to any stereotyping mysellf, but each to their own, I guess

I'm married, I'm a Ms as I don't want my self-worth to be compared to whether I am attached or not to a man. I only use Mrs in particular situations where I want to be a Mrs. My D (5) is also a Ms

@thehorsehasnowbolted
I think you're half right...which also makes you part wrong. I think they (inc me) would like no title to be the default. No ones taking it away if you really wanna keep it. They're banking on some people saying I'm really not that bothered and a sizeable chunk saying I am bothered. No title would be the default and if you declared yourself as Mrs Proud Wife then that's on you.
I don't think they're looking to get rid of titles coz they don't like the titles thst 'fit' them. I think they feel all the titles are not a useful or appropriate way to classify people.Mrs Proud Wife could equally be Mixed-race, low IQ,6/10
or Tory Lard Arse, Lefty Bad Breath. They're just not relevant....any of em. ...but if you're particularly attached to yours make a request to be addressed as Mrs. If neutral was the default I think most wouldn't bother.

I've been estranged and divorcing for years (exH despite being with a live in partner always finds one reason or other to delay it and I cba to bother with it, I would if I wanted to get remarried)

Still use Mrs

Why ? I use Mrs, why should i change that ?

Because apparently denying other women their freely made choices because these choices differ from their own is acceptable, to some at least. So much for feminism.

I have no problem with Mrs - i’m married. I had no problem with Miss when i wasn’t. If we got divorced i’d probably keep the name so it was the same as the kids & would maybe even use Ms. I couldn’t care less what shop assistants or anyone else thinks so i think yabu

I hate the assumption that I am Mrs Partnersname. I hate the expectation that I’d take on someone else’s name and lose part of my identity if I got married. I hate it when people assume that because I’m in my mid 30s with kids I must be married/divorced and call me Ms, despite me referring to myself as Miss, and I hate that there is a stigma around being Miss in my situation. I love being unmarried! I’m not waiting around for it to happen or sad about it. I could get married tomorrow if I valued it.

The UK is the only English speaking country where Miss and Mrs are used in everyday life. Most other English speaking countries use Ms. In my home country, you would only use Miss with a small girl, similar to using 'Master' with a boy.

How about we just stop trying to remove choice from others by forcing them to do something that they don't necessarily want to do? I'm a married woman, in my late 30s. I use Mrs as my title. I like to use Mrs as my title. I also prefer to be addressed as my title surname when it's necessary. I use my husbands surname, because I like it better than my maiden name and it's the name my children use.

If using Ms, Mx, Miss, Frog, Lord, Microwave, Fridge, toilet etc is your preference for a prefix, pronoun, title etc then go for it. My choice and preference is using Mrs and I'd like to keep it as that - my choice and preference. There's nothing stopping an unmarried person using Mrs or Mr etc if they so wish.

That's an interesting one. I generally agree with the proposition that, for the most part, titles are hardly necessary any more. However, at our local primary the children call the teachers by their first names and I admit that it put me off the school (along with the no uniform policy). I sent my son to a more traditional school, further away.

Why are you lumping in pronouns with titles?

'Ms' isn't part of a massive woke plot. It has nothing to do with Mx.

And it's not a ridiculous proposition beyond the imagination of the average woman - Frog, Lord Microwave, Fridge, toilet, etc.

I'm in the US and have just looked at a few bills and a paper bank statement I have.

There's no title on any of them, and I can't remember the last time I had to fill in a title field.

There is sometimes a M/F/Other box to tick but only where this information is relevant. I.e. not when setting up a utility account, etc.

I've been happily married for 28 years, and have always been a Ms. DH and I have the same surname, which we chose and adopted via deed poll when I was pregnant with dc1, so that we could have a family name.

I think we should abolish any title other than Ms for adult women. Women are oppressed and judged enough, we don't need to add to it.

In the UK I used Ms or Dr. Since i moved abroad 3 years ago I haven't been asked for my title once. Everyone, from my students to the tax office, address me by my first name

I'm not calling anyone frog or microwave - sorry

I have enough trouble remembering names let alone whatever else

I agree. It has always irked me as to why I have to divulge my marital status just to order a pair of shoes online.

It'd obviously be a big overhaul to find a non-specific title for women to use that would please everyone and you can't just get rid of them as many companies have databases with a mandatory title field - bit of a nightmare across industries to ditch them.

I am actually surprised there isn't a big move/lots of shouting to have this outdated system replaced though! My marital status is no one's business!

In the absence of big change, I would like to see a simple 'prefer not to say' option and then space for me to state my first name or initial only.