To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

I may be going a bit against the grain here, but I think that there are occasions where a bit more formality is very helpful for all parties involved, by creating a little bit of distance where professional and personal boundaries are easier to maintain. I agree that the Ms/Mrs/Miss distinction of marital status isn't particularly helpful in most situations, and that I would personally prefer that English usage lined up more with modern German and French, in using one title for all adult women, regardless of marital status. But in German, I appreciate the little linguistic rituals of shifting from formal, third-person-plural/title-and-surname address, to first names, to finally using second person singular. It can be tricky for non-native speakers to negotiate, or indeed for native speakers to negotiate in a different country/area, but there's a pretty wide band of tolerance for errors. I have found the British English unwritten rules of communicating boundaries and status far more confusing to navigate, despite being bilingual since early childhood and growing up in an anglophone country.

You can change it with your GP but where I work (not GP) it’s checked when entering the building/ speaking to reception.

😎☔️

I agree with you, although don't have any qualms about Ms.

I use Ms
It really offends me that people use women's titles to put labels and expectations on them without knowing them.

I really wish there was the one title for women, as Mr is for men.

I would love the drop down thing you get to just have a no title option

I really don’t care if others choose Mrs, Ms etc

Maybe people don't know or can't be bothered to change it though. Girls are given the title “Miss” when they are children and that doesn't change unless they change their surname on marriage. It doesn't mean Ms isn't used much elsewhere.

I actually have no idea what titles most of my friends, or colleagues, or even family, prefer. It just doesn't come up.

I'm not an activist. I just don't think there's anything particularly out there in wanting to be able to move through life without your title being linked to your marital status.

Which is all OP was suggesting

This is not what OP was saying. She wants the option of using 'Mrs' to be removed for everyone because she isn't married and cannot use it.

Female teachers all get called Miss don't they? even if they are obvioulsy married, which is a bit weird I suppose.

It varies from school to school. I hate just being called 'Miss'. If I can manage to remember the individual names of my 12 full classes of students, I think they should manage to use the names of their much, much fewer teachers. My students call me Madame/Frau/Señora Fairislefandango, as I'm a languages teacher!

I would love the drop down thing you get to just have a no title option

I wouldn't have a problem with this either. But that's not what they want

What they are pushing for is to get rid of all titles because they don't like the title that would fit them

Who is 'they'?

The radical feminist posters on this thread. There are a few

I leap at the option every time there's not a red asterisk next to the 'title' field in an online form.

I feel the same about it as I feel about the entirely redundant 'county' field some companies insist on using.

Trying to think about when your sex or marital status would be of any concern filling in a form - apart from some medical circumstances?

I'd love to be shot of it. I don't even know what to use as I'm married but didn't take my husband's name

@thehorsehasnowbolted

You lost me at find and retain a man

The whole point of 'Ms' is that you can use it whether you're married or not.

OMG really? Maybe if we put out the lights and stay very quiet they'll just think we're part of the furniture. Best hide all baked goods and misogynists under the sofa, just in case.

I've been using Ms for all form-filling purposes for about 30 years, single and married. But my medical records probably say Miss because I have never changed my surname. I have never heard anyone use titles in my line of work ever really, its always just firstname surname (never worked in a public facing job).

I'd prefer it if all adult women used Mrs, regardless of marital status or whether they had changed their surname, it is easier to say than Ms.

What's wrong with finding a man you love and making a happy life together? Men would do the same. What's so outrageous?

Totally agree

Little Ms Perfect was a username already taken!!

If I am filling an unimportant form in like ordering shoes and they don't have a Ms option i will choose Mr!! The Shoe shop does not need to know my marital status it's soo outdated!!

I've started using Mx on some things now. But even that does work because people assume/wonder if lm non binary of fluid. I'm not. I just don't want to have to declare my gender and marital status.
It pisses me off when people (usually married women) say they're proud to be married and don't see why they shouldnt use Mrs because a few don't like it....I have no problem with you declaring your gender and your marital status...its just like don't want to. I've no hangups around either it's just so inappropriate.
There was a post on tonight from someone working from home due to poor MH. That's her business and its private....but seems its to be forced to choose a title. What's the difference. Shall I indicate my ethnicity and IQ too

Mx isn't non binary.....its 'mind your own' but a lot of NB use it so already it has different connotations
Ms is just lm a female but there's a considerable group of people who think it's I'm divorced.

@jumpingbean1810 lots of married women use Ms. They use Ms with their maiden name