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AIBU?

To kick her chair during the inflight meal

327 replies

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:45

in short, red eye flight from America. The woman in front reclines her chair as soon as humanly possibly. No issue with that.

the inflight meal comes about 45mins in. She is the ONLY person in the cabin who keeps her seat reclined, bearing in mind she is sat bolt upright to eat.

I don’t believe it’s within my rights to ask her to (do the decent thing and) put her chair up so I can eat in comfort without her chair pressing against my forehead. Instead I did the petty thing and kicked her chair throughout I’m the inflight meal, so she had a taste of the discomfort that I have.

AIBU? 😂

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1628 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
59%
You are NOT being unreasonable
41%
halfsiesonapotnoodle · 07/03/2023 09:23

squishee · 07/03/2023 08:03

It is not a CHAIR. It is a SEAT.

Yes indeed. It's also NEVER would of and should of, but would've and should've ('ve is short for have.)

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 07/03/2023 09:23

ScottishLavender · 07/03/2023 07:55

As the speech impediment was a drip feed and not in the OP I can only surmise that as the thread wasn't going in @CanStopWillStop's favour she suddenly remembered her debilitating impediment. Must be difficult to remember this sort of thing...

Use your words sounds like something only said to 4 year olds.

AllOfThemWitches · 07/03/2023 09:24

OP your crime here is 'doubling down.' You were found guilty by the mn jury and instead of accepting it, you continued to make jokes. They don't like that y'know.

CockleburIck · 07/03/2023 09:25

Aliceinunderland · 07/03/2023 09:22

I would have done exactly the same. All these 'you should have just asked' comments make me laugh. The person in front doesn't have to put their seat up and if she said no there's nothing else the OP could have done about it. In fact I would have probably given her the pressure kick.. you know where you exert full pressure for a while then release and repeat. And yes, IABU and petty..but then again, I wouldn't fully recline my seat when I know someone is trying to eat behind me.

OP didn't ask though, and the woman didn't say no. In all likelihood she'd have agreed to put her seat up if she had been asked.

"The pressure kick" Confused
It seems you are an expert in annoying, antisocial behaviour.

whumpthereitis · 07/03/2023 09:27

I doubt she felt it tbh, if sat upright. If she did it was likely negligible. I doubt she registered it, and I doubt she gave, or is giving it, a second thought. It’s had far greater an impact on you OP, ironically.

starfishmummy · 07/03/2023 09:29

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:50

🤣🤣🤣 uh oh, did I get this wrong? I’m inconsiderate, she is not – got it!

And here was I thinking the kicking would be much more effective while she is trying to sleep...
But then the thread seemed to take an unexpected turn

furryfrontbottom · 07/03/2023 09:35

Plenty of people with stutters manage to communicate effectively. And if you cannot cope with having a brief interaction with a stranger, how on earth do you manage to get through airport security?

Heyboooo · 07/03/2023 09:36

I’ve not read all the comments but I fully back your pettiness. I too, am this petty and I love it 🥰🥰😂😂

earthincreased · 07/03/2023 09:43

I get the anxiety about speaking to strangers - I'm autistic and really struggle with this, sometimes am nonverbal in stressful situations. What I've found can help is to rehearse (not nec out loud) what I need to say. I even have a few phrases in my phone notes for situations I encounter often. Just short and to the point like "sorry, would you mind putting your seat up while I eat my meal." But also maybe give a note to the flight attendant if you feel overwhelmed by having to speak.

Kicking the seat wasn't a great choice, but a lot of people on here clearly have no experience or empathy about communication difficulties and anxiety, and the irrational things you can end up doing when you feel stress, powerless and drained by not being able to 'use your words' as one patronising pp put it.

Plitvice · 07/03/2023 09:47

We always get the recliners effectively lying down on our laps. It feels a bit indecent to have a random bald head beside my fanjo for three hours. I alleviate the trauma by treating it as a head rather than an actual person like one of those face beer tankards you can buy in Germany.

Xhee · 07/03/2023 09:48

Kicking her chair is so twatty.
I sympathise with the struggle to communicate, as I also have a stutter and really struggle to speak to strangers due to autism, but you can't kick things to get your point across, start embracing the notes section of your phone or an actual pen and paper, then you can just show the air steward or the person in front.

Vloader23 · 07/03/2023 09:49

Constantly amazed by the complete lack of social skills demonstrated by users on this forum.

Just ask her to sort her chair.

Jojoanna · 07/03/2023 09:50

I don't blame you. Really grinds my gears !

WiIson · 07/03/2023 09:51

Maybe she forgot about putting the seat back up. Bit of a dick move to keep kicking her chair. I get the issue with the stutter. But how do you manage in the rest of your life if you need a stranger to do something, without resorting to passive aggression and violence? 🤷‍♀️

LuluLehman · 07/03/2023 09:51

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 08:20

Aahhh that’s fantastic news, all these years I thought I had a stutter, turns out I’ve just been faking it all along. Thanks @ScottishLavender you have the healing hands of Jesus 🙏 so glad I shared personal details about my life online, this thread IS for sure going in my favour 🥰 can you cure my IBS too??

I don’t know about a cure for your IBS but there is certainly a cure for your bullshit…

whatadayforadaydream · 07/03/2023 09:52

What in immature way to deal with it. Ask her yourself or if you don't feel confident to do that ask a flight attendant to ask her. They often do that during meal time.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:54

I’m enjoying the OP baiting the po-faced bores on here.

I’d have crumbled my crackers into her hair as she slept.

WiIson · 07/03/2023 09:56

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:54

I’m enjoying the OP baiting the po-faced bores on here.

I’d have crumbled my crackers into her hair as she slept.

Maybe she would have turned round and punched you in the face. 🤷‍♀️

IDontWantToBeAPie · 07/03/2023 09:57

I mean violence is never the answer - she may have had a bad back that you risked harming.

Just ask her to put the seat up. Flight attendants will back you during the meal.

RampantIvy · 07/03/2023 10:08

Whammyyammy · 07/03/2023 09:08

I keep my seat upright during meal services, but it's reclined all other times.

Once had a man demand I unrecline my sear as he was tall, although his seat was fully reclined? Apparently again because he was tall 🤷‍♂️ I didn't agree to his demands

If the seat reclines, i recline it.

Selfish

LowbrowVictoriana · 07/03/2023 10:57

If you'd asked her and she'd said no, then YANBU to get a little petty; but you didn't, so you are

Mortimercat · 07/03/2023 11:01

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:50

🤣🤣🤣 uh oh, did I get this wrong? I’m inconsiderate, she is not – got it!

She is thoughtless. But you are worse, childish and aggressive.

All you needed to do was ask her to put her chair up during the mealtime. Or even ask the flight attendant to ask her.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 07/03/2023 11:07

This is why I love Singapore Airlines - the flights I have taken they have always walked along gently asking people to put their seat up for the comfort of the passenger behind during meal times.

Reclining, IMO, should be for sleeping only.

Sassyfox · 07/03/2023 11:17

I’ve begrudgingly explained why I actively avoid confrontations with strangers.

You sound unhinged.
And completely full of shit.

You actively avoid confrontation with strangers - yet instead of asking nicely if she can put her seat up you kick the seat instead - umm yeah ok 🤔

Someone who doesn’t want confrontation wouldn’t kick someone’s seat so you’re obviously lying about something.

Kittlbua · 07/03/2023 11:21

YABU to kick her chair.
YABU not to post in the OP about your debilitating speech problem which you later drip-fed and then get annoyed with posters who said "Why didn't you just ask her?"
You could have asked the flight attendant which might have been less intimidating than asking the person in front. Or you could have indicated to the flight attendant what the problem was if you felt unable to speak.

And in your OP you say
I don’t believe it’s within my rights to ask her to (do the decent thing and) put her chair up etc.
So that was your reason for not asking her in the OP, and later on the reason turned out to be the speech impediment.

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