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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick her chair during the inflight meal

327 replies

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:45

in short, red eye flight from America. The woman in front reclines her chair as soon as humanly possibly. No issue with that.

the inflight meal comes about 45mins in. She is the ONLY person in the cabin who keeps her seat reclined, bearing in mind she is sat bolt upright to eat.

I don’t believe it’s within my rights to ask her to (do the decent thing and) put her chair up so I can eat in comfort without her chair pressing against my forehead. Instead I did the petty thing and kicked her chair throughout I’m the inflight meal, so she had a taste of the discomfort that I have.

AIBU? 😂

OP posts:
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 08:41

QuizzlyBear · 07/03/2023 08:37

Why would you not just use your words?

She has a speech impediment.

Yogagrandmum · 07/03/2023 08:42

It’s the red eye…you sleep!

CockleburIck · 07/03/2023 08:43

My DP has a speech impediment.
He has managed to establish a successful business and lead a full and happy life of 63 years without kicking people's chairs.

QuizzlyBear · 07/03/2023 08:43

Ah, I've now seen that you stutter. My best friend also has a speech impediment, so carries around paper and a pen so she can still USE HER WORDS. She doesn't hit people that displease her.

Huns2Getha4Eva · 07/03/2023 08:56

@CanStopWillStop aww hunny you shouldnt of done it bcs vilence is wrong.

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 07/03/2023 08:57

Chias · 07/03/2023 08:34

Seats on aeroplanes only go back about an inch. Quite a few people recline their seat after take off and go straight to sleep for the whole flight.
Someone on a flight I was on, complained about a reclined seat. The air steward just told them that people were allowed to recline their seats during the flight. I don’t think there is a huge etiquette thing about it beyond mumsnet.

During meal service, if the person in a reclined seat is awake, the cabin crew will ask them to put their seat upright.

PearlyShamps · 07/03/2023 08:59

If you were able to look to the man behind you, and gesture in a way to pre-warn him you were about to recline your seat - then I don't understand why you couldn't do a similar thing to make your feelings known to the woman in front of you?

There are several ways you could have dealt with this other than kicking her seat.

It might be an idea to put some new strategies in place to cope with dealing with inconsiderate strangers non-verbally in future, as I'm sure this won't be the last encounter of this type, and I fear one day someone might retaliate aggressively.

LuckyThatMyBreastsAreSmallAndHumble · 07/03/2023 09:02

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:59

I’m dying at the overt concern for rude recliner lady’s comfort 🤣 I would call the odd chair kick just desserts but it was only cheese and crackers on the flight…

I think you need to grow up. Use your words op.

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:05

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 08:41

She has a speech impediment.

Show quote history

Then write the issue down on a bit of paper for the flight attendant if speaking is not possible.
There is no excuse for being so rude as to kick her chair. Which it would seem was counterproductive anyway.
Very unpleasant. And if it happened to me, speech impediment or not I would have something to say to them.

LuckyThatMyBreastsAreSmallAndHumble · 07/03/2023 09:05

Ok I see you stutter.

Did you know you can address that with speech therapy?

You still should not have kicked the chair.

StressedToTheMaxxx · 07/03/2023 09:05

Screw her, she shouldn't have been so rude and inconsiderate.

RainbowBrightside · 07/03/2023 09:06

How ridiculous. You were totally within your rights to ask her to put the seat up. If she wouldn’t then you could have asked the cabin crew to have a word.

RainbowBrightside · 07/03/2023 09:08

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 01:06

Possibly outing, but since you asked… I have a stutter and dislike speaking to strangers

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Drip feed 💧 💧

Whammyyammy · 07/03/2023 09:08

I keep my seat upright during meal services, but it's reclined all other times.

Once had a man demand I unrecline my sear as he was tall, although his seat was fully reclined? Apparently again because he was tall 🤷‍♂️ I didn't agree to his demands

If the seat reclines, i recline it.

SunFlecks · 07/03/2023 09:10

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 00:59

I’m dying at the overt concern for rude recliner lady’s comfort 🤣 I would call the odd chair kick just desserts but it was only cheese and crackers on the flight…

Looks like you had a good time and a bit of entertainment from kicking her chair and she got to keep her seat reclined and probably didn't mind the kicking so I'd say it's a win for you both. Well done!! Long flights need some sort of drama or everyone will die of boredom. And what's the fun of flying if you can't enjoy a bit of passive aggressiveness anymore, right?

Butchyrestingface · 07/03/2023 09:11

Add the clause Siren… “dislike speaking to strangers… BECAUSE I HAVE A DEBILITATING SPEECH IMPEDIMENT”

So pass them a note. Unless your hands have been chopped off as well.

AllOfThemWitches · 07/03/2023 09:12

People accusing OP of being unfunny yet all parroting the same 'are you 5' type jokes.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/03/2023 09:13

You kicked her chair? Rather than asking her to move it while you eat?
Are you 6?
Is this a reverse?

ItsShiela · 07/03/2023 09:16

YANBU but you can get help for stuttering. You can eradicate it. You do not have to endure it. Joe Biden is a famous former stutterer. You wouldn't know it now to listen to him would you.

ancientgran · 07/03/2023 09:19

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 01:49

Looool, here’s the thing… when the seat in front of you is practically horizontal it means you get a much better view of the cabin (silver linings eh) so I could see both people in front of her and the man next to her obviously had plane etiquette too because his seat was upright.

I see where you’re going with this, I knew before starting this thread I would be a MN villan lol but honestly, her actions are indefensible. Mine a little more, because it was an eye for an eye. Is the whole world blind, possibly, but i will go on to live a full and happy life as I hope she will too 😆

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I think the difference is she probably did something thoughtless, maybe because she'd just woken up, you did something deliberate.

LadyEloise1 · 07/03/2023 09:21

You only got cheese and crackers on a red eye flight from America ???
No wonder you were cranky.
I would be too. Smile

CockleburIck · 07/03/2023 09:21

AllOfThemWitches · 07/03/2023 09:12

People accusing OP of being unfunny yet all parroting the same 'are you 5' type jokes.

If you were able to look to the man behind you, and gesture in a way to pre-warn him you were about to recline your seat - then I don't understand why you couldn't do a similar thing to make your feelings known to the woman in front of you?

Indeed. OP can communicate well enough when she wants to.

I'm not sure why OP or others on this thread are so adamant that the woman in front is being rude or thoughtless. It is more likely that she was half asleep and just forgot.

CockleburIck · 07/03/2023 09:21

Sorry didn't mean to quote that poster... not sure how that happened!

Justalittlebitduckling · 07/03/2023 09:21

CanStopWillStop · 07/03/2023 01:23

Look, I’ll be honest – I’m tired, jet lagged and absolutely petty. Yesss I could had tapped Wreck-it Recliner on the shoulder and asked her to put it up.

But you know what. I didn’t want to. Why should I further my discomfort by forcing myself to communicate with her verbally… so I kicked her chair a few times to teach her a VIOLENT lesson in plane etiquette. (lol seriously please do call crimestoppers for my random act of violence - guilty as charged)

I shall await the thread about angry stuttering lady who kicks chairs imminently.

I don’t know why you posted this because you’re not genuinely asking if you were unreasonable, you’re just doubling down and justifying your behaviour. Kicking the seat in front on an aeroplane is what small children do.

Aliceinunderland · 07/03/2023 09:22

I would have done exactly the same. All these 'you should have just asked' comments make me laugh. The person in front doesn't have to put their seat up and if she said no there's nothing else the OP could have done about it. In fact I would have probably given her the pressure kick.. you know where you exert full pressure for a while then release and repeat. And yes, IABU and petty..but then again, I wouldn't fully recline my seat when I know someone is trying to eat behind me.

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