Anybody else scared to post on Mumsnet

[Herthatry]

I feel like Mumsnet can be a bit toxic sometimes and I feel a bit uncomfortable posting anything.

People can be very judgmental in here.

Yes, people do need to be aware that MN isn't private. Anything on it can be shared on social media or reported in the press. It's all public domain.

That's the reason why I've never started a thread on any kind of personal matter. I don’t think any of my issues are suitable tabloid fodder, but you never know...they do surprise you sometimes. I've usually been able to find old threads on the same topics when I want some advice.

I completely agree.

I also hate it when people start accusing other posters of 'bullying' just because someone has disagreed with them.

I got called a “horrible person” when I called my DSCs mother a deadbeat 😃

I honestly just laughed at the prospect that I’m a horrible person for looking after 3DC like they’re my own since they were toddlers because their birth mother could never be bothered to provide for them emotionally, physically, or financially, and never even bothered visiting her DC when he was in ICU…

I just assumed that the poster calling me horrible was probably DCs mother 🤣

Oh god, @BIWI - the "bullying" is trotted out regularly if you disagree with someone. Or "haters".
It's not hate or bullying to have a difference of opinion!

Yes OP, proper feminine laydeez can't possibly post in safety about nice laydee things without the nasty bullies lining up. They are just so unreasonable even insisting that poor nigel should be expected to wipe his own bum occasionally and that they don't wear an apron and high heels to welcome their man home of an evening. Call themselves women eh?

Perhaps we could have some glittery tickers and sparkles and pink unicorns so that we know its safe for our little pink brains.

So wise of you to name change for this.

And the assumptions people jump to if you say you're a stepmum.

I got called all names under the sun and was stalked and harassed because a number of posters assumed I was the OW and had taken the SDC father away from them.

I actually met DH 3 years after his ex ran off with another man 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm old enough to remember the old-style chat rooms.

Trust me - by comparison this is tame.

Hate to burst your bubble, but you do. In fact, you see a good deal worse.

There are a lot of them in plain sight on this site: MRA infiltrators from the manosphere and red pill sites. The good news is once you've seen the first few you can spot them a mile away. They tend to masquerade as women and like issuing directives to other women over how they should behave, and how they are not 'womaning' properly. The sex board, apparently, its own set of particular problems with these intrusive men. So does the relationships board. But the more noticeable ones appear if there's ever a thread in which women bravely share their stories about sexual assault and abuse They home in on it like wasps to a treacle jar. The take-home message tends to be NAMALT, and that if you object to that line of defence or even the serious crimes being discussed there, you are a 'man hater'. Or should, you know, just capitulate to your abuser.

They've noticeably increased in number since the Covid lockdowns.

The idea that men aren't arseholes online is so patently risible that I don't take seriously anyone who says it.

only got this far but will go back and RTFT

I think it was something like "well if you don't agree with it, move your fat arse out of the discussion".

that is not the same as someone saying you have a fat arse. And it is misrepresentations like this that give MN (other online fora are available) a bad name.

Same as any online community: join and read. Read read read. Get a feel of the place, the various parts of the place and don't be an arse, and you'll be fine.

Posting in AIBU that your 21 year old cat is dying of tongue cancer? not the right place, and you will get robust answers (and probably abuse for having pets or something, or for having pets and not shelling out a billion quid in vet's fees). Post that in The Litter Tray? Much more sympathetic and useful answers.

Think SAHM are bloodsucking leeches? don't put that in the SAHM forum or you'll - well, you'll get deleted - probably get abuse. You will deserve it probably.

And so on

I think it was something like "well if you don't agree with it, move your fat arse out of the discussion".

that is not the same as someone saying you have a fat arse.

It really is, you know. But even if not, it's close enough.

no it really isn't. But it does show how people run with something completely batshit.

"take your fat arse" out of something is a pretty average thing for people to write on the internet. "keep your big nose out of it" is the same, it isn't saying you have an actual big nose.

A nose is something you might metaphorically poke in or keep out of a private matter. "Poking your nose in" is a standard phrase.

An arse has no immediate relevance to gardening matters or if it does, I don't want to hear about it.

Or perhaps there's a way to report someone telling you your fat arse doesn't belong in a discussion about them pouring their menstrual blood on their radishes in a way that doesn't make them look a bit loopy?

I can't believe I'm having this conversation.

That's not an average thing to say though. Can you imagine saying this to a friend or anyone really? It's really offensive.

I was told I must be really thick/dim on a thread where I gave a really neutral example of something. She obviously hated the fact I was able to give a real life example of something she said 'never happens'. No one in real life has ever told me I'm thick or dim, because I'm not. But also it's an offensive thing to say.

Some posters could start a fight in an empty room it would seem. It's so depressing.

Hi there. We’re a bit confused by your OP as you’ve actually started 17 threads in five weeks.

We’re definitely open to discussing how to improve our moderation and make the site a more welcoming place for everyone - this issue is front of our minds at the moment - but we’re not seeing from your posting history that you’re scared to post. If there's something you'd like to discuss with us based on responses on your previous threads, we're happy to chat.

As always, please report posts that you think we ought to see - we're post-moderated and may not see them otherwise. Each report is read and responded to by a human being.

We’re a bit confused by your OP as you’ve actually started 17 threads in five weeks.

😂😂😂

Becky calling it 😆

👏@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

So what's your agenda here @Herthatry?

I admit I feel silly now!

You and your fat arse @ReneBumsWombats

In response to OP, no I am not but but I do have some boundaries to make posting here more pleasant. Eg I’d never start a thread in AIBU, about anything I was hurt by or invested in - you’re just asking to be made to feel like utter crap. Also if I post an opinion that attracts any kind of aggression, or I sense they’re gearing up to it, I post one more time to clarify my position then immediately hide the thread and forget about it. My life is very hard - long term pain and carer for disabled family members, I have no intention of being made to feel even worse by sanctimonious randoms on MN 😁

Hello, I wasn't scared to post in the beginning as a was new on the platform. I am pretty much getting to the point where it's not easy to post anymore for me. Scared of being judged or questioned.

😂

Hello, I wasn't scared to post in the beginning as a was new on the platform. I am pretty much getting to the point where it's not easy to post anymore for me. Scared of being judged or questioned.

You got owned. Suck it up OP.