Anybody else scared to post on Mumsnet

[Herthatry]

I feel like Mumsnet can be a bit toxic sometimes and I feel a bit uncomfortable posting anything.

People can be very judgmental in here.

It's how forums have always been. The days of m&b/ aam from 15 odd years ago used to be savage 🤣

@Herthatry seems like quite a lot, you have to put your military protective gear on and shout for England. Then run into battle that is the topic aibu.

Nope not scared to post. It's not exactly a treat if you get mean comments but it's certainly not "scary"

Just a bunch of random people posting online and half the time MN really isn't representative of the rest of the world

There are some unhinged, bitchy and judgemental people on here and some with far too much time on their hands but that's kind of the point. Most women IRL are constantly hemmed in by diplomacy, the need to #bekind and #beprofessional all the time and endlessly put themselves at the bottom of a long list of people. MN is somewhere they can go and offload and, yes, sometimes, have a fight. Sometimes it can be toxic, yes, but I take the view that its probably better to do that with a complete random on the internet than with your spouse or your sister.

You have to learn how to handle yourself. You shouldn't start a thread on AIBU if you're feeling reflective or vulnerable. It's like standing to be an MP when you're in the middle of a mental health episode.

I'm a pretty confident and opinionated person and I rarely have the balls to start threads on AIBU but I'm quite happy to pitch in and offer up my self-important musings. It's a (relatively) harmless way to let off steam and I've got some really good insights and some seriously good advice on here.

It's not Church or therapy and not the right place for non judgemental kindness. It's a place for extremely frank discussion and there aren't many places that will give you that.

I agree.
The giveaway is that sooner or later someone asks if they're a man, and instead of just saying yes or no, they ALWAYS say 'Typical MN, anyone who doesn't agree must be a man'.
It's in their script, along with 'Double Standards on MN' 'The misandry on this site is shocking' and 'it would be different if a man had posted'.

YADNBU.

The destructive, negative and cruel posts. The terrible, shit, life-destroying advice. The tiny-minded attitudes to disabilities and abuse. I am a bit scared of posting about my own life sometimes.

I think it does balance out a bit when you see some of the lovely, charitable or thoughful responses people get in dire situations.

I thought you must know me in RL. I have an enormous arse. In fact I'm pretty huge all together. X

They're a bunch of sad, pathetic little women hiding behind a screen. No doubt while their husbands pay them no attention.

Also, I couldn't care less who this offends (you know it's true) but you rarely see men behaving like this.

If you post anything with a expectation and preparing your mind in advance that there will be horrible comments, you will be fine and will not be affected by them.
Remember those people who post horrible unnecessary vile comments are not happy with their own lives and it's their issue and not yours.

you rarely see men behaving like this.*

You do - they're just on Reddit or Facebook more than mumsnet*

but you rarely see men behaving like this.

Men just throw punches. Much better. Much more civilised….

And yes, anyone who goes on FB and read the comments under posts knows men are exactly the same, if not much, much worse - rape, death threats, etc.

I'm sure incels are trolling Mumsnet, it used to be the obvious football fans, but I think they have taken another tack of posting as women now.

This is brilliant. The irony of saying OTHER people are arseholes and talking like this. Are you listening to yourself?

You might get a few comments, but not many. It's only if you're being goady or being a CF then you'll get backlash and in that case YABU not to expect that 🤷‍♀️😆

Yes I am.

And I stand by everything I say 👍

Erm plenty of men make comments like these, ever seen Facebook comments? In fact much, much worse!! And they're not even anonymous!

Did you see my post, immediately after that one?

Yes, responding to the comment in bold

Right, so you could see that yes, I have seen Facebook, and yes, I think men are even worse than women.

It’s an outlet for letting off their anger and frustrations which they can’t do in the real world . So much negative energy buildup which needs to escape, incognito of course . Fuck , they would never act so vile in real life . Scared they would get the shit beaten out of them .

Exactly what I thought! 😂😂

I have been posting for about 10 years, I have used several different usernames during that time. When DH’s son was younger, I used to post on ‘step-parenting’, it was 50/50 whether I received support or abuse (but the supportive posters were amazing).

I regularly post about pets, and was amazed to find (many years ago now) that a post of mine, regarding cat flap training, was reported and subsequently deleted for breaking MN guidelines! I queried this, but never received a reply.

I now post on many topics, generally less contentious than step-parenting, and the majority of posters are quite balanced. But the minority that aren’t can be pretty grim

I finds it depends on my mood. If I'm feeling confident then the negative comments and bitchploppers don't get to me.

Other days though, I know better than to post lest I become sport for some cruel people.