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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you had your first child..

208 replies

over30sclub · 01/03/2023 23:24

Disclaimer - not a real AIBU I couldn’t find another topic where you can vote

I’ve recently turned 30 and been TTC for a while (not happened yet :D) and it seems like every single person I know from school or in my age range had children ages ago (friends with children 10+ for example). All of my close friends have children - albeit younger - but I’m starting to think that I’m in the minority and I’ll be an older mum at the school gates, if and when it happens.

So.. I wanted to get a gauge outside of the small world that is my friends and Facebook, how many of you had your first child before 30??

YABU - I had my first child at 30+
YANBU - I had my first child younger than 30

Ps no judgment or one ups - neither is better or worse, I’m just curious to see the %
Pps I’m a semi regular poster - name changed as I picked a rubbish one before and was sick of it 😂

OP posts:
nimski · 01/03/2023 23:27

35 & 37 you have plenty of time 🙂

DontEatThePlaydoh · 01/03/2023 23:27

I had my first baby at 26. I felt like you that people at that age were onto number 2 or 3. Most the school mum's seem a couple years younger than I do. I'm now 33. Would I have another at this age? Yes.

StJulian2023 · 01/03/2023 23:27

I had my first at 30, and I’ve felt exactly in the middle at school pick up between mums in their 20s and 40s. You need to give it a good 10+ years to be an older mum

DontEatThePlaydoh · 01/03/2023 23:28

Just to add - wishing you luck for conceiving x

SockQueen · 01/03/2023 23:28

I was 32. One of the first of my closest group of friends. This is a question white answer is hugely biased by who you have in your immediate circle, for a variety of social reasons.

I'm probably a little older than the average at the school gates, but tbh it's such a scrum I haven't really made friends there and I honestly couldn't care less whether they think I'm old or not.

YesitsBess · 01/03/2023 23:28

23 years ago today (!) for the first. Aged 22

14 years ago for the second. Aged 31

I probably could have managed another at 39 as I like a nice rest between children. 😂

rickandmorts · 01/03/2023 23:29

I'm 28 and just had my first.

FakeBilly · 01/03/2023 23:29

There’s a strong correlation between social class and educational level and age of first-time childbearing. These things will skew the norm for your social groups. I was bang on average for my NCT group in North London at 39, but when I occasionally saw my midwife at a different gp surgery in a poorer area, I was the age of the grannies-to-be accompanying their pregnant daughters.

Lavender14 · 01/03/2023 23:29

34 about to turn 35.

Olinguita · 01/03/2023 23:30

Had DS at the grand old age of 38! Wish I could have had him earlier but there were factors outside of my control... Wishing you good luck, OP!

bellsbuss · 01/03/2023 23:30

23,29,33 and a happy accident at 41

Margo34 · 01/03/2023 23:30

When we were ready (which will be different for every couple).

Thedogscollar · 01/03/2023 23:33

I was 38 that was 23 years ago.

mastertomsmum · 01/03/2023 23:33

We live in Cambridge and the majority of the mums I know through work or local baby groups and nurseries were mid thirties when they had their first one. I was 43 and the oldest first time mum in most settings I attended.

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 23:35

Margo34 · 01/03/2023 23:30

When we were ready (which will be different for every couple).

What a pointless reply.

26 for me. Good luck OP!

Mercedes45 · 01/03/2023 23:37
  1. Felt like the youngest person at all my appointments.
SpinningFloppa · 01/03/2023 23:37

22

Thirtyandflailing · 01/03/2023 23:38

I’m 30 now, had my first at 17 and second at 26. Collecting daughter from secondary school I’m one of the youngest mums, however, when I collect youngest from nursery I’m also still one of the youngest?! It doesn’t make sense lol

Stressedafff · 01/03/2023 23:38

I was 18. If I could I would’ve held off. It was HARD. She’s 3 now and we’re only just finding our feet.

Mannymoomin · 01/03/2023 23:38

I had mine at 14, 17 and 19.
I’m 32 now and one has already left school and the youngest already at secondary so school gates are a thing of the past for me.
I did have a miscarriage last year and a cp this year though. Lots of people I went to school with have only just started having children though so I’m definitely in the minority and I think 30ish is now the norm for starting a family

reddwarfgeek · 01/03/2023 23:39

I had my DD at 32 (close to 33) and was one of the first out of my friends, apart from 1 who had her first at 23 which seemed pretty young.

You have loads of time! I'm 38 now and know people my age who would still like to have children who haven't started yet! North West by the way.

Proseccoagain · 01/03/2023 23:40

33 and 37, would have been a couple of years earlier, but I had two miscarriages before the first one.

mastertomsmum · 01/03/2023 23:40

Moonicorn · 01/03/2023 23:35

What a pointless reply.

26 for me. Good luck OP!

Show quote history

I actually think that’s the best reply

CinnamonsWake · 01/03/2023 23:44

I had my baby at 33 and feel like it’s pretty average. I look embarrassingly young for my age though (I was getting ID’d into my 30s) and definitely feel like I got some judgemental looks while pregnant!

Original poster
over30sclub · 01/03/2023 23:46

current status is that I am being unreasonable at 65% - very interesting!

also loving the school gates comments, I’ve heard it can be a tough crowd no matter your age 😂

Thanks for all those wishing luck on my TTC journey as well, can tell you’re all fab mums no matter what your age is 🤗

OP posts: