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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
gonnabeok · 27/02/2023 15:15

Good for your OP. I had exactly the same situation as you. When I threw him out. I text the other woman that she could have him. She then binned him as well as he had told her the age old story that we weren't a couple and it was a load of lies.

No contact is definitely better. I would take a photo of his property outside in case he tries to sue you and say you've stolen it. They can get nasty when they've lost control.

stripedsox · 27/02/2023 15:17

Ow needs to keep on her toes now there's vacancy.

ReneBumsWombats · 27/02/2023 15:33

stripedsox · 27/02/2023 15:17

Ow needs to keep on her toes now there's vacancy.

Yes, she deserves heartbreak and he deserves more cheating sex.

Rainbowsparkles29 · 27/02/2023 16:10

OP you've dealt with this like absolute royalty by the sounds of it so stay classy. Have a cry if needed then adjust your crown and enjoy your life without this loser. You're doing great. Keep going xx

MissMarplesbag · 27/02/2023 16:28

Absolutely fantastic, well done for staying strong and updating us. Onwards and upwards!

Benjispruce4 · 27/02/2023 16:33

Top marks OP. Good luck.

LovelyIssues · 27/02/2023 16:59

I did similar to an ex. Also sent the message to the other womens boyfriend. Who was his mate. And posted the pics on his Facebook wall. It all kicked off. I laughed and blocked him.

LadyLolaRuben · 27/02/2023 17:42

Well done OP. This man will drag his heels with collecting his things. He will try to keep in touch and make excuses to see you. Stay strong. You could never ever trust him again, there would always be doubt x

Coffeepot72 · 27/02/2023 18:57

Everyone is right, the OP has been amazing - but she’s had her life turned upside down and probably feels devastated tonight

pompei8309 · 27/02/2023 20:12

Has he gone then ?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/02/2023 20:22
Flowers
thisisasurvivor · 27/02/2023 20:26

Tothemoonandbackx · 27/02/2023 12:45

I really really appreciate everyone's support, reading peoples responses has honestly made me feel less shitty,
the ones that have given me practical advice have been so helpful. Yesterday when I went back on my dinner break, he wasn't in, and some of his things were gone, but not everything, I think he did that on purpose as later at work, he did message me and asked if he could come back round later when I was in to collect the rest of his things and to have a talk. I did message back to say no, I'd bag everything up when I got back and I'll leave it out on the front for him to collect, there's literally no need for us to talk as I don't need or want to hear what he's got to say. I bagged up everything else when I got back from work, and left it out. It was still there this morning when I left for work!!!!!

You are amazing

He's a total fckwit and will probably never find anyone decent 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Clarich007 · 27/02/2023 20:33

Well done OP.
If he has a set of keys to your place, get them off him now while he's still asleep!
Good luck and stay strong.

Castergirl · 27/02/2023 20:40

Clarich007 · 27/02/2023 20:33

Well done OP.
If he has a set of keys to your place, get them off him now while he's still asleep!
Good luck and stay strong.

Long sleep...

TrickorTreacle · 27/02/2023 21:08

Some people are still posting about the ex-'D'P sleeping and what the OP should do. You need to check the date of the 1st post as it's nearly 2 days ago. Also, the fact that this thread has almost 500 posts is an indication that the OP's story has progressed.

@Crayfishforyou
@Clarich007

There is a feature on MN where you can show just the OP's posts. Then you can read through their posts only.

Valuesarekey · 27/02/2023 21:13

Wow. Cool as a cucumber. You have handled this so well OP. I’m in awe.

It will be an emotional rollercoaster but stay strong.

really hope a fox pisses on his stuff.

Season0fTheWitch · 27/02/2023 21:28

No advice needed, you handled this so well. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's horrible but you will feel better than you do now.

TinyKittenPaw · 27/02/2023 21:28

I only started reading this tread tonight and wanted to say you have handled this magnificently, and how refreshing it is to read a thread that didn’t start with shall i leave him after what you saw.

12345onceicaughtafishalive678910 · 27/02/2023 22:44

It'll get easier..

Junglejane8 · 28/02/2023 07:22

@Tothemoonandbackx how are you today?

louise5754 · 28/02/2023 07:30

OP is the other post about the same man or a different one?

purpledalmation · 28/02/2023 09:17

I so wish the many many women (and men) who are cheated on in this disgusting way were able to have a home they owned and not the complication of children. Wouldn't it be nice if every cheater knew they would be out the door in a heartbeat.

AvoNw · 28/02/2023 11:30

louise5754 · 28/02/2023 07:30

OP is the other post about the same man or a different one?

What do you mean?

PixieLaLa · 28/02/2023 11:49

AvoNw · 28/02/2023 11:30

What do you mean?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4601557-how-did-you-stick-to-your-guns

Probably this one?

Mummys · 28/02/2023 12:28

Brilliant OP. If you have been stuck in an abusive, gaslighting relationship the proof that they gave actually cheated comes as an almost relief doesn't it?

Onwards and upwards