Set his cheating message as his screen saver

[Tothemoonandbackx]

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

How you feeling this morning? You must be exhausted.

Throwing it out there - are you sure tge message was meant for him? If he was seeing someone, wouldnt he have put a password on is phone, and would he have been so stupid to unplug yours and put his in knowing you would assume its yours and open it? Or is he a bit thick?

On the other hand - apart from that message, do you have any other evidence? Like did she know his name? Have they messaged each other previlusly, are there any signs that indicate she deffo met him - like where etc. Just checks to make sure sender has got the right number.

Dont just take his word though - as obviously he'll deny, so you need to get detective to find out.

I'd have loved to have seen his face when he saw the screen! I think that's brilliant. You are so much better off without him

Thankyou Thankyou @welshpolarbear
I had no idea you could filter OP comments 🤯
feel like a complete twat

Well done OP - you kept your cool and remain dignified.

What possible excuse could he offer that would be worth listening to?
What promise could he make that you would believe?

Your silence is powerful.

I really really appreciate everyone's support, reading peoples responses has honestly made me feel less shitty,
the ones that have given me practical advice have been so helpful. Yesterday when I went back on my dinner break, he wasn't in, and some of his things were gone, but not everything, I think he did that on purpose as later at work, he did message me and asked if he could come back round later when I was in to collect the rest of his things and to have a talk. I did message back to say no, I'd bag everything up when I got back and I'll leave it out on the front for him to collect, there's literally no need for us to talk as I don't need or want to hear what he's got to say. I bagged up everything else when I got back from work, and left it out. It was still there this morning when I left for work!!!!!

Good work @Tothemoonandbackx - I'm glad you've stood your ground with no contact. It'd be a shame if his stuff is still there on bin day...

Thankyou OP for updating
I admire your resolve
I agree a conversation with him is pointless, he’s cheated, what’s to discuss.

Well done OP.

@YouSeenMyMarbles he's honestly thick!!! Everything in the messages was 100% evident they met and had sex.

Well done on your strength and resolve. At some point you’ll have ups and downs and I would just say don’t beat yourself up and be kind to yourself. Remember how strong you feel now if you have aisle moments of feeling weak. You’ll ride through it and time will help. I admire your handling of this and there’s loads of support here if you need it.

Good on you @Tothemoonandbackx show the dick head woman aren't his to use.and your certainly not.hes not goings to play upu like a fool and get to keep a prize like yourself.twat.

I absolutely agree.
My thread was deleted in the end (at my request), but right up to post 1000 there were a selection of posters absolutely gunning for me and unable to see any nuance whatsoever. (Despite me being open and honest, clearly feeling massive remorse about the situation and trying to make sense of my actions).

Good for you!

Maybe send a final message stating that he knows his stuff is outside your house and if he doesn’t want to come and collect it, you take no responsibility for his gear if it gets nicked.

OP you're such a badass. I've been checking in for updates to see what his excuse could possibly be and if I didn't already think you're amazing, the fact you're not even letting him into your earspace to hear his nonsense would make me admire you even more.
I hope the fallout in the quiet after this breakup is easy and not painful for you - I know from my own experience it's so much easier to break up angry but once the anger loses it's heat, that's when the sadness can creep in. Please reach out if you need an ear, shoulder or anything else should that happen to you xxx

For someone to have sex and kiss another behind their partners back has psychological issues. Whether that's an intense desire for constant attention / approval or scared to be in a relationship - either way they're emotionally F u c k e d.

This has nothing to do with 'you' - you are NOT the reason he put his desires first. He just doesnt have the morals that gents have. Fortunately you found this out now rather than in years to come.

He has zero respect for you - you need to be with someone who respects you the way you deserve. You'll be in bits right now - would be weird if you weren't - but please dont let that be the reason you get back. Make 'you' a priority, not him.

Why men think they can treat women like that is beyond me, I mean we have men at our fingertips when we consider dating apps like Bumble. Dont get me wrong, that's full of players - and you have to navigate and recognise them, but there are some genuinely nice people on there. Some of my male friends are on, looking for respectful relationships and I met my gent of a partner on there too, so definitely decent guys on.

Get your profile on Bumble - you dont have to be looking to meet anyone just yet, you could just have a swipe through and have a laugh - it could just help you to realise that the dating scene is bigger than you and your ex

xx

@Tothemoonandbackx every woman should follow your example, the way you're dealing with this is brilliant. You know your self worth and aren't compromising. Well done.

He clearly thinks it's not worth taking his stuff, as he only has to wait a couple of days and you'll welcome him back!

@Tothemoonandbackx

You are my hero. I wish my daughter was as strong as you are.

Well done, the clear, strong, simple solution.

If the stuff is still there, I'd say send one final message:

'As I have already told you, your possessions are bagged up and waiting for you outside the front door.

It's your responsibility to collect them. They are not my responsibility.

Do not ring the bell, phone or message me in any way.

I want no more contact with you.

Name

Message ends.

=== '

Stay classy, no posting on social media, no attempting to contact him or her. No giving him any 'see what I had to put up with? Crazy' opportunities.

All the best.

If the stuff is still there, I'd say send one final message:
**
'As I have already told you, your possessions are bagged up and waiting for you outside the front door.
**
It's your responsibility to collect them. They are not my responsibility.
**
Do not ring the bell, phone or message me in any way.
**
I want no more contact with you.

^^ This is brilliant.

A PP commented that it would be a pity if his stuff was still there on bin day. Maybe add a line to that effect?

@Tothemoonandbackx I am so sorry to read your story. I know you must be hurting. You are being incredibly strong, absolutely amazing.

That message is brilliant BUT you already said it is out front. Don't repeat yourself.

This is another FMFP (not my fucking problem) moment.

If it's there tomorrow AM leave it further out so it is on the street not your front garden.
If he complains about its whereabouts in a few days say you left it outside and didnt hear back so assumed he collected it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fuck him and his stuff.
You don't owe him anything and you especially don't owe him "nice".

Text the other woman from his phone: i have been kicked out of my place, I’m coming to live with you right now. And then wake him up and throw him out

Maybe read the OPs posts.