Set his cheating message as his screen saver

[Tothemoonandbackx]

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

[PopGoesTheProsecco]

So sorry this is happening to you OP. Hope you’ve sent the evidence to your own phone too as cheaters are often also class 1 gaslighters.

When my ExH left for the OW, I emailed the other woman and the previous affair partner together so they could get acquainted. Probably not my finest hour but boy did it feel good!

At the moment, he doesn’t know that you know, depending on your circumstances it might be worth considering keeping it this way until you’ve worked finances/next steps etc out.

Just a thought.

[Fraaahnces]

I’d also send all evidence to mutual friends so he can’t try and make you look like an idiot.

[sashh]

@LoekMa

Unhinged. Why would you want her in your house?

I wouldn't be letting her in, but I'd get ex to answer the door, push him out and lock the door behind him.

[Totalwasteofpaper]

Assuming its your place he moved into

Wake around 7. Get his main things from outside the bedroom/in the house packed and near the door.
Tell him to give you your keys pack some clothes for a few days and get him out the door/off your property. Dont engage in discussion say you can talk later. He can come back for the rest of his stuff


Remember everything from here on out is "not my fucking problem"

No where to go? Nmfp
Can't move his stuff? Nmfp
Wants to talk it out? Nmfp


Go for a nice brunch and walk in the park. Come home and have a bath/try and sleep.

Your aims should be:
Control the situation.
Get him out asap.
Look after yourself (not him).

[JimnJoyce]

def get some screen shots

[VioletPickles]

Thinking of you op. Do you have children together?

[WorkerBee83]

My partner cheated on me after 15 years together and it absolutely sucks so you have my sympathy and just know your worth, keep your head high xox

[juliettesmother]

@Totalwasteofpaper

Assuming its your place he moved into

Wake around 7. Get his main things from outside the bedroom/in the house packed and near the door.
Tell him to give you your keys pack some clothes for a few days and get him out the door/off your property. Dont engage in discussion say you can talk later. He can come back for the rest of his stuff


Remember everything from here on out is "not my fucking problem"

No where to go? Nmfp
Can't move his stuff? Nmfp
Wants to talk it out? Nmfp


Go for a nice brunch and walk in the park. Come home and have a bath/try and sleep.

Your aims should be:
Control the situation.
Get him out asap.
Look after yourself (not him).

Love this

[kateandme]

assuming you are actually going to dump his ass and NOT let him do the script on you then do what you like
also assuming you are obviously safe and there is no repo from him on this front.
also that you can just get him to leave.if not use tonight to get the bits together you need ie paperwork etc.
post it to her page?
post it to his pages?
whoever.
pack his bags so all you need to do when he sees it is.i dont care..not one word please.get out.
if you cant wait.you can get rid now.he can still see the screenshot later.

im sorry hes done this. im sorry he hurt you. you dont desrve this. and as strong and angry and brilliant as you sound right now,i hope you are actually ok.
and please please please keep the anger until he has gone. dont listen.no grovelling.he is an absolute fuck head.
you deserve better
keep this fuel to get him out. and gather the rest of your day for snuggling down and resting.

[PinkyFlamingo]

What a complete shit. I'm sorry OP

[MessyJ]

am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

Crazy! Wake him up and do it now. Why let yourself get played like his little doll for any longer?

[ThatCantBeTrue]

Do you have kids?

[Sausagedognamedmash]

You found your anger, make sure you keep it for the next few days when he tries to do the script on you. Keep angry and get him gone. You deserve so much better OP.

[BananaCocktails]

I would have got her number took a photo of him sleeping soundly in my bed with time and date on s bit of paper next to him and sent it to her
why dump him so he can go straight to her whilst you deal with the heartbreak
let her dump him too seeing as she probably thinks he’s single and “the one “
I would ensure a photo of him sleeping otherwise he can accuse u of being crazy stalker
You have great restraint letting him sleep til morning
don’t bother with hall the violent suggestions lol you are not nuts and don’t do anything to justify him cheating on you ( oh she was crazy bitch anyway )
calmy tell him what you saw then tell him to get the fuck out then block him on everything after letting her know what her man was up to

[gettingalifttothestation]

Don't see the point playing games just confront and dump

[Tothemoonandbackx]

Honestly, thank you all so much for your replies. Luckily for me, it's my place and not his, we were talking about him moving in only a couple of weeks ago, but that certainly isn't going to happen now. We don't have kids so there is no tie to us ever having having to see each it her again. I took multiple screens shots on my phone, as there were a few more messages, but basically about the same thing. I set it to both hisblock screen and home screen, and the other shots are in his gallery, and mine now, so there's no denying anything. I went and slept downstairs as I couldn't stand being next to him. I didn't want a row at that time in the morning, neighbours seeing or hearing me chuck him out, so he's still happily asleep non the wiser. I think I'm going tobeait to see the confused look on his face when his alarm goes off soon, watch him squirm, then off he can fuck. To think I wasted years on that piece of shit.

[Tothemoonandbackx]

*other (not it her)

[Oysterbabe]

In a thread from last year you describe him as a mentally abusive, gas lighting, lying, massive walking red flag and talk about trying to leave and him always worming his way back. Do not let this happen this time, it has to be the end. Get him out for good OP, you can do it.

[Tothemoonandbackx]

Sorry for all the typos, heads a bit foggy this morning x

[ItchyBillco]

Retain a dangerously quiet calm this morning OP. It’ll be interesting to see what he says when he wakes and comes down. You absolutely own this situation. You entirely have the upper hand. Keep your head and once he’s gone, do whatever you need to do to let it out.

Sorry he’s such disappointing twat.

[thegirlyupnorth]

So glad you've found out he's a lying cheat. Hopefully he goes without a fuss. Please let us know you're ok.

[RosaBonheur]

Oh crumbs. I hope you're OK, OP.

Good on you for not putting up with his shit.

[sopsop]

What a woman you are! So strong

[monomatapea]

@Totalwasteofpaper This is great advice.

I'd try to just stay as cool and calm as you can in front of him. Just let him try to weasel out of it but don't waste your energy on him. It will hurt him more if you don't let him see how much it hurt you.