To those who didn't want Children by choice?

[girlfriend44]

Families are everywhere. Everyone seems to have Grandchildren which in turn leads to family parties and celebrations and get togethers. You either hear about it or see it on FB.

The world seems to be geared to Families.
If you didn't want children, do you worry about missing out on grandchildren etc?
Everyone seems to have them or am I only seeing the ones that do?
How do you feel about seeing people with children and grandchildren?
Do not wish to disclose my position as like to remain private before anyone asks why I'm asking.

Don't have them; never wanted them; don't like them.

'My' world isn't geared towards families. Most of my friends are like me: single and child-free. Many of my (older) cousins are child-free too.

I chose not to have children because I don't particularly like them, I'm not maternal in any way so I definitely won't feel like I'm missing out on grandchildren.

Seeing other people with grandchildren doesn't really bother me, because I never wanted any. It is nice when you see big family parties etc and I get a slight pang of regret that I will never have that, but it doesn't last long!

This

I do not have children nor do I want them. I don't feel anything when I see people walking with their offspring. I don't believe the world is geared for families, if it were then women would get better maternity pay and care, and there would be more support for families struggling financially or otherwise.

Tbh I'm always baffled by the question on grandchildren
if I didn't want children, why on earth would I want grandchildren?!

Oh, well if having children and then grandchildren meant I'd get to go to PARTIES... that changes everything!

Why didn't anyone tell me there would be parties?! And Facebook!

*scurries off to get pregnant immediately

Also interesting to look at this post on the flip:
People with no children are everywhere. Everyone seems to do what they want when they want and no restrictions on when they can go on holiday.
All the amazing parties and nights out etc.
The world seems to be geared to those not having families
If you did want children, do you worry about missing out on other things life has to offer, or regret having the children?
How do you feel about seeing people with no children, and not limited to what they can do for work or pleasure, based on school holidays/clubs/bedtime routines etc

I have never wanted children so not having grandchildren is no loss. Our friends and families include us in events and celebrations so we are not missing out and in fact have plenty of children in our lives. We’re just not parents.

Whether the world is geared to families is really a matter of perspective. There is an expectation that people will marry and have children, because that’s what most people do. But your life doesn’t have to revolve around that if you have taken a different path.

The person above makes a great point, if you don’t want children why would you care about having grandchildren? I don’t even ‘see them everywhere’ like you seem to.

also I think you are under the impression that to be childfree by choice means that you hate children and don’t want to be around any family kids at parties etc.

I still go to family parties and if I was on Facebook I’d hear and see them as you say. But instead of thinking ‘URGHHH CHILDREN’ I think ‘oh that’s nice’. Because I’m a fully formed adult who has a life too :)

That doesn’t mean when I get back to my clean, tidy and peaceful home that I don’t think ‘oh this is nice I’m glad I’m not doing bedtime for all those naughty screaming kids’
Because I do think that and thank my lucky stars 😂

I don’t want kids for a multitude of lifestyle and other reasons. I’ve never felt an urge and I do find them slightly annoying and they would restrict my lifestyle too much to consider having any.

that doesn’t mean I go around acting like the ‘child catcher’ hating everyone who has them.

im guessing you might be the mother of a child free by choice woman and you can’t get over the fact you won’t have grandchildren.

Thank you for making me laugh

i have been down but remembering the last party with little kids that I went to - not even that many, maybe half a dozen - oh my god, so glad that isn't a problem I have!

😂😂

Those childfree menaces, they don’t go to PARTIES

We all have families whether we like it or not,

Whether they are mixed blessings or seem like a toxic curse 🤬 we have had misfortune or circumstances to be either born into that particular family unit or because of series of mix of unfortunate/fortunate circumstances,

Such as myself having experienced a childhood in care children's homes and then bring adopted

I think looking at it philosophy way maybe spiritual too
Ok I think spiritual way too

I think whether we are aware /or like it not , we can be either born into a particular family unit or experience family background through particular circumstances,

Cause of more in depth meaningful reason or reasons

That only make sense or resonate deeper down the line in our lives, when we discover more about ourselves and our culture / our family/adopted heritages ect,
But not allways through adoption

'Your' position is pretty obvious from the way you've phrased the question.

No, I don't want children or grandchildren (bizarre question) and I don't find that everything revolves around families either.

I think I'd have been a good grandparent, much better than I would a parent, and I'd have enjoyed it more too. But one does rather follow the other so I can't claim any regret. I'm more sorry my family dies with thjs generation, as I've no nieces etc either. The family event stuff does get me down. I have good friends- but their priorities are their families of course.

Wouldn't change being brought up in a big family and having a big one of my own brings so much joy. But neither do I feel bad for those who choose not to have children its there choice also

I can't think of much worse than having children, quite frankly.

I see people out with their kids and they always look stressed and miserable and someone is always screaming or crying - and I'm not talking about the children

It's not a lifestyle I aspire to and it's genuinely not something I "get" in any way.

I have several Childfree by choice friends and they would disagree I think, they go on holidays to Childfree resorts and do lots of fun "non-family" based things. My understanding is they don't have a care in the world about lack of grandchildren!

I went with them to a Childfree resort last summer and honestly it was great! I don't think they feel like they're missing much at all.

I am curious why people who don't want children and never have done are posters on Mumsnet?

Can any of you elaborate please? I am genuinely curious about it. It just seems like an odd place for you to end up.

Came for the AIBU hilarity, stayed for the drama

That's been asked and answered many times. There's more to the site than parenthood.

a mum friend told me about it for a brilliant ghost story thread that was going on!

then I saw it covered everything from films, books, music, feminism, history...

back when I were of joining age, we didn't have Reddit etc. I don't like the physical appearance of a lot of newer chat forums (fora?) Lots of lovely women talking about interesting things here.

I have a roughly equal mix of siblings and friends with and without children.

I have never wanted children and the only time I ever feel anything regarding a twinge is when I think "who will look after my interests when I am older?!" Eg visit me when am in a care home.

But or course: that is not a sufficiently good reason for having children; it is not a given your children will look after you; and that is why I am paying a lot into my pension (so I have as many choices as possible) and will continue to maintain my relationships with nephews/nieces/friends' kids**

**this is mostly a light-hearted comment 😉

Get in the bin @Dacadactyl

FFS, this again!
Please just accept that people are allowed to make different choices in life. I am now very relieved that I chose not to have children, as I know for sure that there will be no stress and worry about adult children and grandchildren.
And - news flash - having children is no guarantee of ever having grandchildren!
The world does not revolve around families, contrary to your belief - maybe you should look outside your own narrow circle of people? Life can include work, hobbies, friends, activities, culture, travel, volunteering, learning, sports etc..... it is so much richer than just hanging out with one's blood relations.

Why? It is a reasonable question given the context of this thread.

Thanks to those who answered.