To those who didn't want Children by choice?

[girlfriend44]

Families are everywhere. Everyone seems to have Grandchildren which in turn leads to family parties and celebrations and get togethers. You either hear about it or see it on FB.

The world seems to be geared to Families.
If you didn't want children, do you worry about missing out on grandchildren etc?
Everyone seems to have them or am I only seeing the ones that do?
How do you feel about seeing people with children and grandchildren?
Do not wish to disclose my position as like to remain private before anyone asks why I'm asking.

If you didn't want children, do you worry about missing out on grandchildren etc?

No. I don't like children. Grandchildren are still children, so I have no desire to ever have those either.

How do you feel about seeing people with children and grandchildren?

I feel absolutely nothing. Their lives, and what they want to do, are wholly irrelevant to my life and my wants.

I only really like crispy bacon - wonder what that says about me? 😀

I have nothing against children at all, I just never saw myself with a baby/child. I may well regret this in old age when I don't have adult children around me but I couldn't enter into a life I didn't really want just to prevent a possible lonely old age. DH feels the same way.

Unlike some of the other childfree people on here, I do regularly read the parent/child related threads just out of a sort of fascination with a life I will never live. Some of it sounds lovely - movie nights snuggled up on the sofa, Christmas Eve boxes, being greeted in the morning by a cute smiley little bundle looking for a cuddle, fun birthdays and Christmasses etc.

Some of it, and I know these are only small parts of a child's life, sounds dire - sleepless nights, exploding nappies, potty training, trying to get children to eat when they don't want to, the school run, worrying about their physical and mental health, the expense and difficulties of childcare, being restricted as to when you can go on holiday, having to put their needs first etc etc.

Overall, I would say I am very happy with my decision and DH and I have a lovely life. We have just paid off the mortgage so will make sure to make provision for any healthcare needs, as much as we can, for old age.

Sometimes it feels sad when you see big families having fun. But in general, it is other peoples attitudes to you that is the problem.

I will also be a grandparent to their children eventually so no I don't feel as though I've missed out but maybe if I hadn't of become a step-parent and didn't have my own DC I'd feel differently.

They might not have any children.

I really believe not having children should be the default rather than having children.

Children should be an addition if you really want one and can afford one.

Too many kids are born into poverty because of women having kids because that's just what you do.

It's not your whole life though, is it? I had my twenties, traveling, seeing the world, nights out, breaks away, etc. I enjoyed it but I like a bit of variety, so my 30's raising a family is great, we have so much fun and it's great to be a very close unit and to see the relationship between the two children. In my 40's they'll be much more independent and I'll get more 'me' time back, but even now I can't think of much that I can't do just because we chose to have them. They honestly enrich our lives immensely.

Didn’t find anyone to marry and now I don’t partially want to be married and I’m not really looking to have kids now I’m in my 40’s

I am very much in the minority being a single woman in their late thirties with no children.
I envy those who are around many others in the same position.
I don't want kids for a multitude of reasons. Absolutely terrified of pregnancy and labour. Scared of passing down the autoimmune and mental illnesses in my family, wouldn't want a child to have my looks, the way the world is right now, the fact that I love my own space and sleep. I feel guilty at times as I know my parents would have loved to have had a grandkid or two. I have siblings and they also don't want kids. So just because someone has a good number of children certainly doesn't mean they are guaranteed grandchildren.

Never wanted them. Didn’t like children much when I was one, teenagers ditto. There is absolutely nothing about raising children that I would have wanted for myself. Couldn’t have afforded to do it anyway. I don’t care about things being geared to families; I just ask that other people’s children aren’t in my face or treating the retirement village where I live like a playground.