Would you be upset if a TA said this to your child?

[Redsandyellows]

He’s 4 years old.
He told me the class teaching assistant had told him to “stay in there and think about what you’ve done”.
I have had no issues with the school previously and it’s a highly rated school in the area.

When I asked what he had done to warrant this, he couldn’t tell me.
No one spoke to me at pick up about anything.

Its not a phrase we would use at home, so I was quite sure it had come from the school and then he mentioned the TA’s name so I’m adamant he wasn’t making it up.

She’s an older TA (been at the same school at least 20 years).

AIBU or is this inappropriate in such a young class?

Stay where?

It seems out it touch to me. What was the point when he didn’t know what he had done?
I would raise this tbh. He’s 4.

Depends really.
where is the "in there"? The classroom - potentially ok. A cupboard - not so much.

What had he done?

I think he had to sit on a chair, that’s what I got from him.

Depends if he was put in a cupboard or sent to sit in a safe place?

the phrase itself to me isn’t offensive, reflective practice is a life skill.

I wouldn’t say it but I also wouldn’t complain about it.

It’s not put him off going in this morning, he was eager to get in.

Very much depends what it was he had done.

Don't most nurseries/reception have some sort of "thinking corner"/time out type spot? That's what this sounds like

If he doesn’t know what he did wrong, ask the TA to tell you. You can then discuss and get him to understand why the behaviour was unacceptable.

I'd perhaps feedback that he didnt know what he'd done

And my DS replies ‘I don’t know’ to what he had for lunch! He probably forgot or couldn’t be bothered to remember. Just nip in and ask, but i wouldn’t get your back up about it. They come home with lots of tales from primary school.

And this is why the world is going to shit, it is perfectly reasonable to tell a child to think about their actions.

Remove him from the school immediately and home educate him.

Or ask them TA why she asked him to reflect on a poor choice he made, and what that was. Have you read the school’s behaviour policy? Many are very tight,y scripted now.

I bet he did know what he'd done, he just didn't want to tell you.

You're probably imagining it was said in a much harsher way than it actually was. If she shouted it at him or was overly stern, I'd be pissed off.

Well, what kind of consequences would you expect for (presumably) misbehaviour?

This!

It sounds like a very mild punishment to me.

How do you discipline him when he has been naughty OP?

Eh?! What am i reading? There's nothing wrong with what she said.

No, why would I be upset? Let the school teach & discipline your child. Don’t assume you know best.

What had he done?

If he doesn't know what the behaviour was that caused the discipline then it is worth just asking her so that you can reinforce that it was unacceptable at home.

She did nothing wrong though, children should be pulled up for poor behaviour.

Seems harmless to me.

What had he done?

He obviously did something that the TA (I thought you meant Travel Agent) thought was wrong. But he didn’t recognize that it was wrong. Kids know right from wrong from a very early age, I don’t know why people think otherwise.

I would bet that he absolutely knew what he had done. Nothing wrong. With what the ta said personally but I would pop in and just ask the ta calmly and nicely what he had done