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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/02/2023 15:52

ClimbingRoseBush · 14/02/2023 15:23

She’s either racist or unstable. Ask to be sat well away from her when you go into the restaurant and if she speaks to you again complain to management.

This. There is something wrong with her, and she probably is racist on top of that. Tell the management she is making your mealtimes unpleasant and ask them to rectify it. It will be up to them to speak to her, move her, whatever. Do not engage further with her, at all. Ignoring her is the best course.

Catapultaway · 14/02/2023 15:55

I'd deliberately sit as close as possible to them every meal. Don't let it get to you, and it will ruin her holiday more than yours 😁

Cocobutt · 14/02/2023 15:56

What did the rest of her table do?

Honestly she sounds a bit unhinged and spoiling for a fight, as as you said she only saw the food after DH got up but was making faces before then.

I agree with your DH that I would try and put her out of your mind and avoid a confrontation if possible as that’s obviously what she wants.

Hope551 · 14/02/2023 15:56

Ahh she would hate me 😂 when I was a kid I use to try bits of everything. I would really suggest your hubby having a word if she continues or it gets worse. It could be racism as you said your the only minority there she may think your an easy target. If it is she sounds like the type of person who can't keep herself in check so I'm sure it will come out. Hopefully that will be enough for your husband to intervene. It's hard to stand up for your family by yourself if no one backs you up. X

Cocobutt · 14/02/2023 15:57

If it’s a small resort I would also give the staff a heads up and they’ll hopefully keep an eye on her.

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:59

What did the rest of her table do?

the husband was quiet and her kids (teenagers) also were quiet

OP posts:
AGoldenNarwhal · 14/02/2023 15:59

I would play this differently, especially given the possible racism aspect. I would report her to the hotel management and ask them to let her know that you'll be reporting her for harassment if she so much as looks in your direction again. You deserve a drama-free holiday.

lobeliasb · 14/02/2023 16:02

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:59

What did the rest of her table do?

the husband was quiet and her kids (teenagers) also were quiet

They are probably mortified at the scene she caused, I doubt it's the first time either

DPotter · 14/02/2023 16:02

What did the rest of her table do?
the husband was quiet and her kids (teenagers) also were quiet

So they are embarrassed by her. It's definitely not you. I wouldn't go as far as to flick peas at her - I'm rather fond of peas. However the biggest smile you can muster and lots of encouraging enthusiastic chatter with your little one. At future meals position yourself so you can't see her, even if you have to stay on the same table.

Enjoy your holiday - don't let some idiot ruin it !

EezyOozy · 14/02/2023 16:05

Just laugh raucously in her face next time, then walk off.

FatArse123 · 14/02/2023 16:06

Sympathy from me OP. This would upset me, even though it really is her problem! Normal people don't behave like that. I agree, if you're up to it, smiling at her could be fun.

Wetblanket78 · 14/02/2023 16:07

This reply has been deleted

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ItchyBillco · 14/02/2023 16:07

Report her to the resort for racism. And I’d have my phone on standby in case she tries anything again, ready to film to show to the hotel management.

unclebuck · 14/02/2023 16:09

Think how much you could ruin her holiday if you tried 😂

OnedayIwillfeelfree · 14/02/2023 16:09

Every time she looks at you, enthusiastically wave and smile, like she is your best friend. It will unnerve her.

Doowop1919 · 14/02/2023 16:09

Sounds like her husband and children are also embarrassed / scared of her.
What a strange woman. She's either off her rocker or racist.

Ignore, tell staff if you must to be moved table, enjoy the rest of your holiday, op.

DuplicateUserName · 14/02/2023 16:09

Gosh, so much 'shouting' and 'yelling' going on.

And she singled your table out, out of all the other tables in the restaurant?

No-one else's?

TonTonMacoute · 14/02/2023 16:09

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:08

my DH keeps saying I shouldn’t be upset and he’s getting angry that I’m letting a stranger spoil our holiday.

TBH I agree with him. She sounds completely fucking bonkers, you really have to ignore her, and stay away from her as much as possible.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 14/02/2023 16:11

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

I'd have loudly asked her what her problem was as soon as she started.

EmmaDilemma5 · 14/02/2023 16:14

It sounds like she has mental health issues.

I'd just smile back if you see her again. Smile and ignore.

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 14/02/2023 16:14

Why was your DH getting angry with you? Surprised nobody else has picked up on this. Or have I misunderstood?

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 16:15

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 14/02/2023 16:14

Why was your DH getting angry with you? Surprised nobody else has picked up on this. Or have I misunderstood?

Probably because she is overthinking and letting it spoil their holiday

LakeTiticaca · 14/02/2023 16:17

Never mind flicking peas, I would be tempted to dump a whole plateful over her head. Please come back and let us know if she starts again. Whip your phone and record, then speak to management.
Don't let some deranged hag spoil your holiday!!

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 14/02/2023 16:17

AGoldenNarwhal · 14/02/2023 15:59

I would play this differently, especially given the possible racism aspect. I would report her to the hotel management and ask them to let her know that you'll be reporting her for harassment if she so much as looks in your direction again. You deserve a drama-free holiday.

Or report it so they are aware, sit near her again and let her start her bollocks under their observation this time and let them kick her out 😂

Tannedandfake · 14/02/2023 16:18

She does sound unhinged and it’s a shame your DH didn’t back you up tbh.
can I ask if you are All inclusive?
It doesn’t make her behaviour any better, but I have seen lots of disapproving looks before at AI resorts