Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
JT12 · 16/02/2023 21:54

Ignore her. I would be far more embarrassed for her behaviour than yours. She should be embarrassed not you! If anything I would look down on her - just tell yourself that you would never stoop to her level and feel proud you have class.

Topsyturveymam · 16/02/2023 22:13

Crazy.
if she starts looking over again, laugh and look like your having a wonderful time .. wave a piece of leftover lettuce, like a flag …just to infuriate her.

NannaKaren · 16/02/2023 22:15

Some people are just horrible - ignore her and if near her ask for a different table - enjoy yourself xxxxx

hiyaqwerty · 16/02/2023 22:22

Take comfort in knowing her husband must've felt super embarrassed by her and probably told her off for being so embarrassing after you left.

Kally64 · 17/02/2023 00:11

I would just kill her with kindness, she’s obviously the type of person that thinks she’s right and is just rude to anyone who doesn’t bow down to her. Rise above it, don’t let her ignorance spoil your holiday and I admire you for standing up to her rudeness

organicapricot · 17/02/2023 00:44

There's a phrase that comes to mind “Never play chess with a pigeon, it'll just shit all over the board" don't use reason and logic to argue with stupid people. So your DH is right in terms of not letting it ruin your holiday.

LoisLane66 · 17/02/2023 02:23

Sit with your back to her and smile when passing. Get over it. You are the one letting her spoil your holiday.

LoisLane66 · 17/02/2023 02:30

Don't be looking for racism in every interaction with strangers. I certainly don't feel picked on as a white Anglophile if I am in a 'non-white' country. It's too easy to ascribe every disagreement or argument to racism if the parties differ in 'colour' 🙄

Lollipopsicle · 17/02/2023 05:12

YesitsBess · 14/02/2023 15:07

Flick peas at her during meal times. Constantly.

Train toddler to do same.

There is no engagement with people like this so I'm afraid it's pea war. 😎

Love this. You’re my type of person.

Dibbydoos · 17/02/2023 06:24

She is right none of us should be wasting food or anything else, but her behaviour is ridiculous. She got worked up about something she can't control - your DH isn't her child and even then children have free will too!

I'd just blank her. If she accosts you again, report her to hotel management.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday x

IreadbecauseIam · 17/02/2023 08:05

I've experienced that look of disgust too...get your phone out and start photographing or videoing your family.

She won't want to risk being caught.on camera nearby.

Anele22 · 17/02/2023 09:24

Definitely racist. She picked on you because she saw you as different to the others there. Appalling. So sorry this happened to you. What country are you in?

'Stop looking at us'
'Can you go away please'
'Don't talk to me'
etc

Heyhoitsme · 17/02/2023 09:44

She sounds nuts. Please don't let her spoil your stay. When my daughter was 14 there was a horrible man on holiday who accused her and her friend of taking photos of him. The friends family had a row with him. Very unpleasant.

mustgetoffmn · 17/02/2023 11:31

She sounds mad. Not because of her position re the world but because she was behaving ridiculously OTT and irrationally. You tried to approach this. She responded badly. Would being on a different table far away from her be possible? Just think of her as having a problem and take no notice. If she continues complain to management as this would be a harassment. They might not be staying as long?

mustgetoffmn · 17/02/2023 11:39

organicapricot · 17/02/2023 00:44

There's a phrase that comes to mind “Never play chess with a pigeon, it'll just shit all over the board" don't use reason and logic to argue with stupid people. So your DH is right in terms of not letting it ruin your holiday.

Never heard this one. Sadly very useful!

opinionssoughtplease · 17/02/2023 11:54

I do empathise with you, falling out with anyone, even strangers, is very upsetting and the upset feelings can last a while too, as it takes us by surprise and it can take a while for everything to feel normal again. You don’t know for sure that it’s connected to racism so probably best to put that to one side for now. However, this woman sounds like she does have issues and it’s everything to do with her and nothing much at all to do with you. Make a conscious effort to have faith in yourself and your family and enjoy your holiday. Don’t pay her any attention. It’ll be someone else she picks on before long. Your time and money are too precious to waste on her I imagine!

Kjpt140v · 17/02/2023 14:59

Take the high ground, she's a proven arse. It is race, I have no doubt, therefore she's no more than sh*t on the sole of your shoe. If you are seen to be not enjoying yourself, then she wins and your children will be having a thoroughly miserable holiday.

TheBreakTimeReads · 18/02/2023 08:45

Don’t let her win by ruining your own peace and happiness over nothing. Focus on things that makes you and your family happy. She is just one among many we will all have to face in some ways at some point in life and learning/practising to ignore as far as we have done nothing wrong l is the way forward to stay sane.

Kerensa70 · 18/02/2023 11:34

I’m so sorry to read this, she sounds absolutely horrible, no excuses. Dig deep and think you’ll always regret focusing on her terrible behaviour on your family holiday. Don’t let her spoil your family time! I know it’s easier said than done, I could deck her for you!!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 19/02/2023 13:00

Ignore, ignore, ignore!
I had a scenario of hovering for a table just last week.
One became available and as I literally sat down, a woman came and plonked herself opposite and exclaimed she'd been waiting long.
Her husband was still in the queue whilst we'd already ordered, so we had clearly been waiting longer.
For a split second, I thought of challenging her but thought better of it.
People around looked sympathetic to us and a group moved from their table for us.
New table was better too.
When her husband brought the food, they literally ate the whole meal in silence, then left.

Clearly she had issues and tried to take it out on someone else.

When people have no outlet, they try to pick an easy target.

Next time, don't engage and pretend you can't see her.

Stewball01 · 23/02/2023 08:47

Racist to be sure and I'm so sorry for it. I'm Jewish and there's extra people hating us. Ignore her. If she starts shouting laugh and get others to join. Sit with your back to her and not a rigid back. Good luck. 🙂

ellyeth · 06/03/2023 16:52

She may be racist or she may be mentally unbalanced. - or she may be both. If you have any more trouble with her, I think you should report it to the manager.

It sounds like she made a real spectacle of herself and the suggestion by another poster that you say "I feel so embarrassed for you" made me laugh.

I can understand you feeling upset but please don't let it spoil your holiday. If you do, whatever her motive, she has won.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 06/03/2023 16:54

Pick up the leftovers and dump it in her lap and say “here you go you have it then and next time mind your own fucking business”

New posts on this thread. Refresh page