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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 16/02/2023 18:40

Could you ask for your table to be moved as far away as possible from her?or would it be possible to go for dinner at a different time? A quiet word with the hotel management might help. Other than this,just try to ignore, difficult I know, and definitely try to not let it spoil your holiday! People like her are just not worth spending any energy on. Enjoy your holiday!

MargaritaRita · 16/02/2023 18:49

"Sorry, could you repeat that?, So sorry, I didn't hear you what you said, could you say it again? What? No I can't understand your accent, and I am partially deaf, would you like to write it down for me? Thanks."

Getting them to repeat their idiocy a couple of times can work wonders. And for the record I am partially deaf too.

mandlerparr · 16/02/2023 18:50

I would have told her if it upset her so much, she was welcome to help herself to whatever was left over.

mia778 · 16/02/2023 18:53

I would give her a mouthful and be on your way, forget it and enjoy your time

Titsalenabumflop · 16/02/2023 19:02

I'd just totally ignore her. Move your chair round so you don't have to keep looking at the nutter. If she approaches you just walk away and ignore her.

restingbitchface30 · 16/02/2023 19:06

I’ve had this multiple times. It could have been as you are a POC to be honest. I’m white, my partner is Indian. I’ve lost track of the racist incidents we have encountered over the years in predominantly white or Asian communities. However I’m not as calm or polite as yourself! Please do not let it ruin your trip. That lady will be bitter and miserable for the rest of her life. You enjoy yours.

PJsprinkles · 16/02/2023 19:09

Next meal time, find her, sit as close as possible and make damn sure you all leave something on your plate. Then, scrape the leftover food onto one plate before walking over to her. Smile sweetly and announce that, as she was so all consumingly upset by food waste, she can have it before dumping the entire contents onto her plate.
just kidding, but maybe daydream about this potential scenario to make yourself feel better xx

Thepollonator · 16/02/2023 19:11

@Mummy322
Well done you for tackling her! I hate it when people hide behind their language to insult someone. Enjoy your holiday with your little one and don't give her anymore head space. xx

CriticalAlert · 16/02/2023 19:11

TBH I think she's a racist. You stand tall and proud. You've done nothing wrong. Take no fucking notice of the unhinged racist bitch and DO NOT let her spoil your holiday. Don't give her that pleasure. Let her see all of you enjoying yourselves, that'll really eat her up. We all have to stand up to racism and this can be your way of doing it. Enjoy your holiday xx

HoboHotel · 16/02/2023 19:25

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 15:19

You should not feel embarrassed. Yes you should move on. You are giving her headspace which is spoiling your holiday

But I would definitely laugh at her every time you see her just so she knows she hasn't got to you

She is either a nutter, a racist or has just had a row with her husband who has just told her he's about to leave her noone knows what's going on in others lives.

Dont let her in to your head

All of this.

also, unless you're somewhere incredibly dangerous, get out of the resort and explore a bit. You'll see her less and have a better holiday, win win.

T1Dmama · 16/02/2023 19:30

I honestly wouldn’t let her ruin her holiday. If you see her again in the dining hall try to sit away from her… if it happens again complain to staff…. But often the best response is to not give her any attention! Smile your biggest smile and walk away the better person.

IWishIHadNotDoneIt · 16/02/2023 19:30

If it was me and they kept staring, I'd wave and say hi but I'm a sarcastic cow 🤣

Feraldogmum · 16/02/2023 19:31

Well whether she’s racist or fruitloop, she’s definitely bang out of order. Some of these eco warriors can be frankly batshit, my husband studied environmental science at university and half his course were certifiable. But that’s a different issue.
I would go and have a quiet word with the staff in the restaurant or hotel ,if she turns up at the same time as you,if they’ve any sense they will eject her. I’m frankly amazed the staff did not come over and ask her to be quiet. You should not have to be pussy footing around this horrendous person ,who may be on a bit of a power trip as you were so reserved in your response to her, well done on that by the way, I expect that’s not the normal response she elicits. I would imagine that you were not the only diners being irritated by her, ignore her and go straight to the manager.
I do hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Littlepicker · 16/02/2023 19:31

Blank her… or even better just laugh everytime she looks at you. It will drive her insane… silly bitch. I feel sorry for her family, how embarrassing!

T1Dmama · 16/02/2023 19:38

Fill a massive plate of food and put it on HER table while they’re all up choosing food 😂
The every time you walk past her table fart 😂

IAteTheLastOne · 16/02/2023 19:39

NameChangeFor2023 · 14/02/2023 15:13

I like you.

Can anyone join the pea war? I’m down for that.

Jack80 · 16/02/2023 19:43

Ignore her, we had German people being ar*sy with us and we spoke to them and left it. Don’t let it bother you holiday, just don’t sit near them. x

browneyes77 · 16/02/2023 20:00

I’d have told her to shut the fuck up and stop acting like a psycho. (I’m mixed race so also a person of colour. So can understand why you feel you stick out).

Then if I saw her at mealtimes and she was glaring over, I’d flip her the birdie 🖕🏼 🤣

But I have no problem with confrontation and will argue the shit out of something and ensure I get the last word. So I’m probably not the best person to give advice 🤣

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 16/02/2023 20:07

Try to ignore her and have a lovely time. Living well is the best revenge. If she sees that you are having a lovely time, so much the better. But try not to let it get you down, or the bully has won!

Actionstations · 16/02/2023 20:18

I wouldn't let it spoil my holiday. It was an annoying thing to happen but you can still have a great time. If you see her again give her a big smile and warm greeting..

CountessWindyBottom · 16/02/2023 20:43

This is so so horrible. I would hazard a guess that her shit behaviour is racially motivated. Her behaviour is disgusting and I wouldn’t so much as look in her direction. Enjoy your holiday with your family.

Lizbeth59 · 16/02/2023 21:04

She sounds like a complete nutcase. Forget about it and enjoy your holiday. Ignore her

Boysnana · 16/02/2023 21:05

Aww that's awful...I would be upset and dwell on it too. Either that or u would of got in her face and told her to F off... depends what mood she caught me in. X try and enjoy your holiday. X

Flossatops · 16/02/2023 21:06

There are some low-life people around unfortunately. Remember that you are so much better than that and have a great holiday :)

Patricksmama · 16/02/2023 21:48

I know it will be hard, but kill her with kindness. Smile when she points in your direction and please remember that she isn't enjoying her holiday because she has decided to fixate on you, probably because she is unhappy with something in her life. You only have 6 days of your holiday to enjoy left, so please enjoy them. Have a lovely time, and remember that she is just projecting. She will run out of steam if you shrug off her actions and have a lovely time on front of her.

I am really sorry if it is due to racism. Disgusting behaviour.

One last thing. I think you should tell your DH that you would really like his support on this, especially in front of this woman. If she sees that he isn't supporting you, it will make matters worse. He needs to have your back in public. You are a team.

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday.