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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
VeganStar · 14/02/2023 16:19

Next time ask for a doggy bag and pop it onto her table as you pass 🤣

takealettermsjones · 14/02/2023 16:19

Your DH is right in a way, but I completely understand having those kind of days when this stuff really does upset you. Try your best to shake it off OP, you did nothing wrong, she's an idiot. Have a glass of wine with dinner and ignore the hell out of her!

Itsmyturnnow1 · 14/02/2023 16:20

I’d be tempted to tell her to go fuck herself but I can’t control myself when someone is rude to me 😆 just ignore her!

Soozikinzii · 14/02/2023 16:21

This sounds so awful and unnecessary. I just wanted to empathise with you . I would mention it to the management and ask if you can be seated away from them or at a different time . Sadly I think it may be racist which is truly shocking this day an age .

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 16:23

Itsmyturnnow1 · 14/02/2023 16:20

I’d be tempted to tell her to go fuck herself but I can’t control myself when someone is rude to me 😆 just ignore her!

I'm sorry. That would be my reaction too

Justmeandthedog1 · 14/02/2023 16:24

She sounds barmy. Ask for another table far away from her.
And don’t stay in your room, not everyone in the place where you’re staying will be batshit mad or a racist.

JadeSeahorse · 14/02/2023 16:25

@Mummy322 please don't let this racist nutcase spoil your holiday.

Damaging the planet by wasting food? My God, it's a good job she wasn't sat near me then as I am the fussiest eater you will ever encounter and if anything contains the slightest hint of something I don't like then it is definitely pushed aside.☹️

Can't abide these Great Thumberg fans when they try and ram their beliefs down your throat.

Have a great time and consider yourself well and truly supported by your Mnet friends.👍

inloveandmarried · 14/02/2023 16:26

She sounds unwell and obsessed with other peoples business.

Do not give this woman any more headspace whatsoever.

Someone else who is clearly so unreasonable doesn't get to spoil your precious time away with your family.

Put yourself, your husband and your child first. Be proud, stand firm and ignore. Do not engage again even if she speaks to you.

Practice in the mirror so you know the blank look of slight distain you need to give her.

Horrible woman.

JadeSeahorse · 14/02/2023 16:26

Greta

Catspyjamas17 · 14/02/2023 16:27

I would certainly have reacted just as you did and asked her if there was a problem.

VyeBrator · 14/02/2023 16:29

"second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language"

"Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting "

"I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English"

This is shocking OP.

Why on earth didn't the staff come running to your table, to find out what all the shouting and yelling was about??

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 16:29

I probably would of went to reception and explained another guest is spoiling your meal, you feel intimidated by stares and pointing/raised voices and can they have a word with her. Next, I'd ignore and sit as far away from them as possible. Avoid like the plague but try and enjoy your holiday.

PussGirl · 14/02/2023 16:30

What food were you wasting? The half-eaten toddler-chewed lemon?

MadeForThis · 14/02/2023 16:30

I would blame it entirely on racism. You don't know what she was actually angry with, just what she told you.

She was probably surprised you questioned her and was hardly going to admit to being racist so said the first thing that came into her head - wasting food.

Dont let her ruin your holiday. Try to avoid her and if she approaches you again complain to management.

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 16:33

Also sit with your back to her. If she does it again speak to management.

LimitIsUp · 14/02/2023 16:37

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 16:23

I'm sorry. That would be my reaction too

And mine!

Mumtumtastic · 14/02/2023 16:38

Hi OP, this is absolutely appalling I’m so sorry you and your family have been subjected to this woman’s awful aggressive behaviour. It sounds like racism to me also, and the food thing is an excuse to harass you. In your shoes I would speak to management about the incident, get it on the record so if anything else happens they can take further action. I would also report it to my travel agent and see what they can do/ advise. I really hope you are able to enjoy the rest your holiday with your family OP, and if there is the slightest whiff of any more nastiness get straight on the management there

Cherrysoup · 14/02/2023 16:41

Report her to management and if you spot her, sit away from her, preferably back to her. She obviously has issues.

mochimoons · 14/02/2023 16:42

It sounds like you dealt with that situation really well, so you should hold your head up high and ignore that person!

If I'd have overheard that then I'd think well done you for dealing with it in such a level headed way. And how embarrassing for that woman that she has her nose so stuck in other people's business (and perhaps another place as well).

Enjoy your holiday and ignore that nasty woman!

BillieJeanmm · 14/02/2023 16:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 14/02/2023 16:43

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

I'm with your DH, you're giving this weirdo headspace instead of shrugging it off. You're allowing her rude behaviour to mess up a nice day when the sensible response would be to roll your eyes and ignore her.

Who cares what she thinks? I can understand your DH's frustration.

CloakAndTin · 14/02/2023 16:43

lobeliasb · 14/02/2023 16:02

They are probably mortified at the scene she caused, I doubt it's the first time either

If she stares and rants about anyone leaving food on their plate her family must be well used to it. Sit well away from them from now on and watch as she has a go at other guests if they leave half a tomato on their plates!

Oopswediditagain2023 · 14/02/2023 16:43

I don't think you should let it ruin your holiday - she sounds like she's got some MH issues from your post. The only people I know personally who behave like this have quite severe mental difficulties so I wouldn't take it to heart.

Catspyjamas17 · 14/02/2023 16:44

Racism is in everything and everywhere though, that's the problem.

blueboocat · 14/02/2023 16:45

She sounds awful! Definitely speak to management about it and hopefully you can enjoy your holiday. She is in the wrong, you’ve done absolutely nothing at all to warrant that sort of abuse from a stranger/psycho.

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