Why keep reproducing with lazy DHs?

[Fifi00]

I've seen this a few times , wife complains DH is lazy and does nothing with the first DC then proceeds to get pregnant again and sometimes again. Adding more stress and pressure , why would someone have more DC with a lazy father? He isn't going to suddenly get a personality transplant.

Can you really not think of any reasons why? It's not rocket science surely!

• don't want family size to be limited to an only child
• don't know better/ first relationship/ poor role models
• accidental pregnancy
• husband promises to change and does until the second pregnancy is underway

Because some women value their child having a sibling over that ‘extra pair of hands’. I understand why, they’re a known quantity. Why end up with 2x2 and two crappy men to deal with?

Thank god you got that off your chest @Fifi00

Maybe because actually the number of men who aren’t lazy about it is vanishingly small.

also women don’t tend to leave when the children are tiny. The marriages more often break up once the children are older and the woman can actually take a breath

YANBU but some of the women on here refuse to accept responsibility in these situations.

Big dick 💁‍♀️

Why keep complaining though ? I understand if it's a 1st DC as it's unknown 2-3 DC they knew what he was like and life isn't going to get easier with more children and a lazy twat.

😂

I think it’s often because they want another child and it’s that simple. whether they want one for themselves or for their child to have a sibling. Personally I don’t get it but then I’m one and done with a DH who definitely isn’t lazy. If he were shit I absolutely would not be having another one. I’m too lazy to take the brunt of parenting by myself.

Humans are human.

Some people moan and carry on. This is not a new phenomenon.

Why are you on here moaning about other people moaning?

What does “accepting responsibility” actually mean @Workheadache ?

im lucky I have a DH who is more present than most with the DCs.

But if he wasn’t, what does “accepting responsibility” mean??

This site has a fetish with telling every woman who has a DH problem to “leave him. Immediately”.

it’s quite sickening because I think it’s massive projection half the time

How is it woman bashing? Do women not have choices and access to contraception in 2023? Why keep repeating the same decision then moaning it's the same outcome.

See for me, I’m a little unhappy that he has 4 children now 😂🤣 I thought I’d be happy with just one child which was his limit and he isn’t the best and not much use at the minute when she’s 14 months but he’s amazing with his 9 year old. I wanted another one 1. To give my daughter a full sibling/One from me. I’ve got siblings from just my mum and just my dad and never see the ones from my dad so it scares me she won’t see her siblings. I also would love to keep it to one man even though I know I could find better or worse in a father.

it’s just pigheaded the opinion a mother should do it all but I’ve done the first 14
months he’ll have no choice but to pick up even more now she’s getting older and she absolutely adores him through and through so it’ll only grow more.

I get your point though and even for me im
currently on the injection to stop a baby number 2/5 happening for us 😂

Mine was brilliant when they were little. Probably a better parent than I was. But lost interest when they got older and stopped doing anything. Not sure how I could have predicted that

You are woman bashing because you are choosing to ignore all the logistical/sociological/economic reasons behind relationship inequality. You are blaming women for how they respond to that.

Which makes you a pretty unsisterly person. Have a

Agree the thread wants deleting, the whole website is supposed to be about supporting parents and this thread is just slagging off parents for talking about their real lives.

If you choose to have another child with someone who didn’t step up the first time and it was your choice, you can’t really complain. But what sort of role models as parents are both of you?

No, OP is right, women have agency and sometimes continue to make what outwardly seems like poor choices again and again, blaming ‘men’ rather than their own inability to put their foot down and make strong decision.

This mentality on MN that women can never be criticised because they’re nothing but passive puppets with an evil male string-puller is seriously depressing. I’ll be teaching my daughter that she has agency and choices, not that she’s a helpless bystander at the mercy of whatever crap bloke has glanced in her direction ‘because we’re women’.

I can’t say what I want too as I don’t want to be deleted for being too personal

However I am sick of folk who post nastily about other peoples choices and place a lens over it, because they aren’t somehow able to make those choices, so to speak.

thats the most tactful I can put it.

’Needs deleting’, grown adults discussing something mutually, who on earth do you think you are?

I thought he'd treat me better if I had his child but that was a pipedream. I'm dumb,. Okay. Now I'm paying the price but thank goodness he shot blanks.

Agree 💯

I have 1 DC why because he was lazy when she was baby/toddler I did mostly everything myself until school age 5/6 he worked away mon-fri. He asked me for another DC and family did I said no because it would cause me more stress and add pressure to my life. I had a coil fitted , I can understand if the man is abusive why women might have more. I don't understand martyring yourself if you knew he was lazy with first DC.