Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

It's weird not to answer your door, but this is MN so I'm not surprised. Hopefully, the OP never needs help from their neighbours in the future.

Your neighbour needed urgent help from you for a medical emergency for their child. You ignored repeated banging, not just a knock that might be a cold caller. No reasonable person in your situation would’ve ignored it.

This sums it up. It is not normal to ignore repeated banging on the door.

If you're that anxious, check who it is out of the window, or get a spy hole.

My dad was woken from a nap one afternoon by banging on his front door. He answered the door (because he's a normal human being) and it was the fire brigade telling him the terrace next door to his was in fire, and advising him to get out of the house until it was under control. It turned out the fire had spread to his garden and window frames.

Good thing he answered the door, eh?

Yanbu. Who made you solely responsible for calling emergency services? You could’ve been in the bathroom or listening to music etc. Why didn’t they immediately go back to theirs and call an ambulance?

She could have been. But she wasn't.

If she had said "sorry I didn't hear it as I was in the shower", the neighbours wouldn't have been pissed off.

It’s me 🙋🏼‍♀️ I don’t do either. Why’s everyone so annoyed about this. I always text ahead if I’m planning to visit or call. When you have a young baby it’s quite annoying so phone is always on silent and I put a soft furniture pad on the door knocker so it doesn’t interrupt naps. I feel like if it was an emergency someone would be yelling at the door rather than just knocking and going away. Of course then you would answer.

I don't answer the door for people I don't know. But I always look to see who it is. I would have opened it for the neighbor.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not opening the door and checking who it is through a spyhole. I wouldn't open my door to a complete stranger.

We're the same as you op, we don't answer door unless we're expecting someone, we sometimes have 3 or 4 cold callers a day especially in the warmer months & with a toddler whose into everything I'm not willing to leave her alone to deal with some stranger at the door. It's your house it's your choice whether you answer door. The neighbour should have just gone back to there own house & got their phone, it's not your fault.

Not hearing the door is a million miles away from intentionally ignoring it.

I agree with a PP that it say a lot about the OP's attitude to her local community. And what it says isn't good.

Nobody has that many cold callers or religious people these days - and I live in inner London.

Nobody is saying she was solely responsible for calling an ambulance.

But put yourself in the shoes of the neighbour who has an injured child on her hands and is panicking. What would you want your neighbour to do?

I agree

so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.

Given the circumstances that was an over-share, and insensitive. They didn't need to know that.

Despite the fact that it could be the fire brigade (as per my example) or a gas inspector, police etc who have come to tell you something really important?

You'll never know if you need to answer the door, if you don't answer the door.

I've had help from neighbours when my dog was attacked- we'd never have managed of people hadn't come to help.

And the day I couldn't raise any neighbours to call the police, the burglars were able to drive off with all the worldly goods of one of them.

It's your choice, but I agree with those who think it's a bit weird and unreasonable for a capable adult to never answer their own door when it's knocked on repeatedly. And sometimes neighbors help each other out, that's what happens in a normal society.

That said, your neighbors shouldn't have criticized you, you weren't required to help them. But it would have been nice.

I hate cold callers too but they leave quickly if you politely tell them "no" and close the door. Or you could get one of those "no cold callers" signs to post by your door.

I might have believed you if it was the 70s. But no-one sells door to door anymore. Instead they’re cold calling you on your phone, advertising online or spamming you via email.

I think it's weird not to answer the door. You're sorting of shutting the world out which seems a bit bizarre to me. I guess you can lie that you didn't hear it if/when it happens again. It's not very nice but that seems to be the path you're going down.

It's weird not to check, particularly for repeated banging.

If I saw my neighbour I would open up.
I generally do answer the door, but if I'm not inclined and not expecting anything purposeful, I look through a window to check.
A few years ago someone had car issues and a flat mobile phone, and I gave them use of the cordless landline to call for help (not quite trusting enough to risk the mobile! The landline would have been pretty pointless to remove from range if they had dishonest intent)

There are things like Ring doorbells that allow people to check if they don't want to be seen checking.

I would be peeved if my neighbour had strategically ignored me while I was in need. We have an amicable, mutually beneficial relationship.

I don't always answer my door and I couldn't give a fuck who thinks that it is weird. If I am not in the mood of socially interacting I won't. If I am not expecting a package I won't. If someone decided to call on the off chance they would catch me I definitely won't, if I am not suitably dressed I won't, if I am feeling anxious I won't, if I am tits deep in work I won't.

My door, my house, my choice.

I will choose who, when and if I interact with someone, who for whatever reason decides to knock, ring or bang the door down.

Repeated banging I find a bit odd to ignore. It suggests someone really wants your attention and therefore it might be a genuine need, not just some cold caller.

I answer the door if I can be bothered.

It all depends on the set up. Our house faces a village green and there is no road there, so all deliveries and visitors come to the back (there's parking at the back). 99% of the time, anyone knocking on our front door is either trying to sell you something or get you to sign up for a charity. Definitely puts me off opening it. And at night time, when DH is working, I don't answer either door in the dark.

Member of the "Cavalry" here.
I don't answer my door unless I'm expecting a visitor/trades etc.
We tend to use the back door and side gate (both with key operated locks) when we go out separately.
If I'm here on my own I'd only answer the front door if RM/DPD etc are due.
All friends know to text first and are thankfully pretty good with being on time (I hate lateness!).

Your Neighbours are batshit crackers for having a go at YOU because their DCs own parent, outside their own house, panicked and forgot how to find and use their own phone. 😱🤷‍♀️

I agree, I’m shocked anyone has three or four different cold callers trying to flog things every single day to them. I’m struggling to believe it too

i think some people are just very reclusive and don’t want to see or speak to people, so they hide in their houses ignoring the door.

but what when your kids grow up and know you do this. They will ultimately know their parent has issues.