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Original poster

Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

1000 replies

Scrumbler · 01/02/2023 12:18

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

OP posts:
PortiasBiscuit · 01/02/2023 12:41

Answer your bloody door of course. You’ll find that serial killers seldom bother knocking.

BentleyRhythmAce · 01/02/2023 12:41

Well, perhaps you'll need help in an emergency one day and no one will open their door to you.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/02/2023 12:41

An emergency involving an ambulance, blue lights and repeated banging on the door - wouldn't have the same noise as a cold caller? It must have been serious to warrant an ambulance call?
Unless it wasn't whatsoever, and they are ambulance time wasting drama llamas.

Beachbabe1 · 01/02/2023 12:41

Surely it wouldve been quicker for neighbour to run into her own house and get the phone! Maybe you shouldve said you were busy feeding the baby or something? I would look out to see who it was before I decided whether to answer it or not.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 01/02/2023 12:41

Can I suggest a ring doorbell or similar if you're scared of the door? I would I find it odd if someone was banging repeatedly on my door but I would look at the app, see was the neighbour and go and open.

Peridot1 · 01/02/2023 12:41

I really don’t understand people not answering the door either. Very weird. If it’s cold callers just say no. Or put a no cold callers sign up.

PartyTips · 01/02/2023 12:42

TossieFleacake · 01/02/2023 12:33

It's completely up to you whether or not you chose to answer your front door.

You did not know it was them or that there was an emergency.

It sounds like your neighbours are the type to try and point the finger of blame ... there is no blame they can send your way OP.
You are not there to attend other people's emergencies, you could've been asleep, in the shower, just putting the baby to bed or out.
Your neighbour should have knocked once, accepted you weren't going to answer and then sorted out their own problem.

You did nothing wrong at all.

She could have been those things but she wasn’t. There’s obviously a massive difference between ignoring someone and not being there.

It’s completely up to OP whether she answers her door. It’s completely up to the neighbours whether they think she’s a weirdo/twat for ignoring them.

Justcallmebebes · 01/02/2023 12:42

I have never heard of people not answering their doors until I joined Mumsnet. It is really, really weird

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 12:42

not sure the neighbours are drama lamas if the lad has a bandaged head? sounds like a head injury that could possibly be concussion to me. Added to head injuries bleed like a stuck pig, it isn't surprising some people panic.

I get not wanting to open the door to travelling salesmen, but banging on the door like that? You've seen, OP, why other people have answered repeated banging on the door. Think about that?

SnakeOiler · 01/02/2023 12:42

It’s your choice not to answer your door.

i’d have told them I was in the bath tbh.

is jolly weird though!

MajorCarolDanvers · 01/02/2023 12:42

It's very odd not to answer your door IMO

But his reaction is probably because he's still very upset.

Dial up your empathy rather than your indignation.

Sasha07 · 01/02/2023 12:43

Do what you want! If you don't feel like answering the door then don't. Who can be arsed constantly getting up just to find it's a parcel for a neighbour/cold caller etc. Your neighbours seem a little unhinged, as do half the posters saying you SHOULD be answering the door no matter what. You could be in the shower/on the toilet/middle of washing dishes/cutting raw meat and by the time you wash your hands they'd be gone anyway 🤷 anyone banging on my door would be given a wide berth anyway, at best I'd looking out of the window to see who it was. Depends on your neighbourhood too I guess. No right or wrong way (who cares if you do/don't open your door anyway, your choice entirely) but your neighbours are irrational to think they can hold you accountable over a little fall 🙄

JudgeJ · 01/02/2023 12:43

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 01/02/2023 12:26

I think not answering the door is a bit weird - I get why you do it, though.

Until finding MN I'd never thought of not answering the door, seems odd. Having said that I was far better at getting rid of doorstep sellers etc than my late OH !

TakeTheShiteOutYaMouth · 01/02/2023 12:43

You're weird for being so elusive with your front door. Agree with others, what if there was an emergency that involved you that somebody was trying to bring to your attention? I have no idea why MN is so scared of front doors...aren't we meant to be strong, independent women??

Your neighbours are weird for being so dramatic. An ambulance hardly comes out for serious health issues nowadays let alone a minor cut so they seem a bit dramatic and not fair to blame you.

Singinghollybob · 01/02/2023 12:44

I find it strange not answering the door.
And of course you didn't know it was an emergency, how would you - you didn't answer the door!

Rewis · 01/02/2023 12:44

You're entitled to not answer your doorm neighbours are entitled to be mad about it.

AgentProvocateur · 01/02/2023 12:45

I also don’t understand MNers (because I don’t know anyone that weird in real life) who don’t answer the door/phone. Mad axmen on a killing rampage are unlikely to knock.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 01/02/2023 12:46

People who don't answer their door are just weird. Imagine if it was the other way round and you needed help in an emergency.

Overgrowngrasslady · 01/02/2023 12:46

It seems to be a thing in here, I find it very odd behaviour to not answer your door so I’d also think you were weird

honeyytoast · 01/02/2023 12:46

You’re not obligated to answer the door, you could have been busy, unwell, etc etc. I also would not have any issue with answering an unexpected knock during the day time but it’s understandable why someone would not.

it’s not your fault, and like pp have mentioned to be that panicked about a minor accident to the extent of an emergency call is a bit ott. But I also do understand they were worried about their child. Their reaction is probably more from worry which again is understandable

itsgettingweird · 01/02/2023 12:47

I don't answer my door to strangers or cold callers.

I get up and go to the peep hole though.

I'll talk through it to cold callers and say I'm not interested or ask who they are if I don't recognise them.

I understand people not wanting to answer a door but I never understand the full on ignoring it - what if someone was trying to alert you to an emergency that involved you? Smoke from a window for example or your car being stolen?

ScramblePud · 01/02/2023 12:47

I love that so many PP are taking OP’s word as fact on this being a minor injury when she doesn’t actually know and is guessing (largely to make herself look better). He could’ve been knocked unconscious and wouldn’t even require the bandage he has. Lots of parents play down injuries on their children (myself included) with phrases like “oh, just a bit of a bump” or “a little fall” - that doesn’t mean an ambulance wasn’t required or that he wasn’t actually seriously injured.

SoupDragon · 01/02/2023 12:47

You could be in the shower/on the toilet/middle of washing dishes/cutting raw meat and by the time you wash your hands they'd be gone anyway

She was doing none of those things so they're completely irrelevant.

EyeSpyPlumPie · 01/02/2023 12:48

If I’m working from home and in a meeting I won’t open the door. It’s not the end of the world.

EL8888 · 01/02/2023 12:49

BurntOutGirl · 01/02/2023 12:27

Surely going back in their own home for the phone would be quicker then repeatedly banging on yours

Well, exactly?! It would have been quicker. They are massively over reacting and l wouldn’t give it any head space

Couriers rock up my house banging in the door like the house is on fire or it’s the police. Doing it repeatedly if l don’t open in 30 seconds and it’s infuriating. Yeah lm often busy with other stuff (often work) and lm allowed to be. I don’t hang around in my hall or front room waiting to open the door.

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