Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

It's only since being on here that I realised people don't answer their door. I don't know anyone in rl who doesn't answer their door

The problem isn't that you ignored the knocking...the problem is that you told them you ignored it. For future reference, "I didn't hear it as I was in the shower" works a treat.

Never answering your front door says a lot about who you are as a neighbour generally. You ignored emergency banging on your door, which no way sounds the same as a JW. But you also never take a parcel in for anyone else, you’re never there if anyone needs to borrow something, you’re not interested if a neighbour wants to tell you they’re about to light a bbq so you might want to take in your washing, you don’t want to talk to canvassing politicians about local issues. You’re essentially saying you live their but don’t regard yourself as part of the community.

@Scrumbler Your neighbs are being completely unreasonable, for calling an ambulance for a minor injury .
Someone with a life threatening condition could be losing out.

I never answer my door either, for the reasons you give.

Your neighbs sound rude and unreasonable.
YANBU.

Love the fact that people are up in arms OP didn't answer her door...why should she? Her home, her door. I wouldn't be answering for loud banging either.

I'm another one who think its weird not to answer.

But if you don't want to then come up with some plausible excuses.

Not weird at all - I'm deaf and wear hearing aids and can still miss the door if people don't ring the bell!!

Remember too that door knocking is reciprocal. One day you (me anyone) might have to do the same. Crikey we drill it into our daughters that in some circs it might be a sensible strategy if they're in trouble on the street.

We all make choices, conflict is the result of yours. We answer any number of phishing phone calls from all over the world. The front door is a link to the community. As a society we have been led to assume if someone is in they answer the door. It is easy to say no to a sales person. Write a letter of apology without excuses, it is you who are lucky it was a minor injury.

My Aunt lives in a really rough area. She was upstairs in her bedroom once to hear loud banging on her door. It was her neighbour telling her that there was someone halfway in her back downstairs window.

I know OP, I always send the butler to answer the door, not my job!

But seriously, it could be someone telling you your house is on fire, there’s a madman loose, or if it’s just the JWs you politely say no thanks and close the door. It’s not difficult.
I’d be upset if I was your neighbour.

The other week I had someone "unexpectedly" knock on my door. It was the gas emergency people investigating a leak next door and we had to evacuate the house of 4 hours. It's not the first time either!

Generally for me it's someone who needs access to the alleyway at the side of my house, which is shared access with neighbours and used for things like oil deliveries. The way I park my car means foot access is fine but vehicle access isn't so they knock, I move my car. Not doing so would mean my neighbours incurring expense and inconvenience. Or it's someone bringing a wide load through who needs all cars moved or there's about to be a road closure. There can be quite a few good reasons to answer your door and many ways to find out who it might be before you actually open it.

I mean, I can see why the OP might not want to bother, but I can also see why her neighbours are pissed off that she didn't.

I voted Yabu as you don’t need my permission to ignore your own door!

So you are not answering the door either ?

I mean obviously it is completely bizarre behaviour not to just open your door. Totally strange.

But obviously your neighbour has no right to be annoyed by you not doing so.

Seriously though, the mind boggles, is it that much effort to open the door?!

My neighbour once called an ambulance for us when my son stopped breathing, my husband was trying to do first aid on him, whilst I was losing my mind, her calling that ambulance definitely saved us time. The ambulance was there within about 3 mins, I'm very grateful that she did!
So I would just try and be kind to them, they've had a shock and could have really used your support. It's nice when neighbours and communities can help one another.

I think you were unreasonable. If the situation was reversed you'd want your neighbours to answer your knock, you could have yelled out a window if you didn't want to open the door. At least you could have gone and seen who was knocking.

I can see both sides. I have really bad anxiety which includes surprise visitors and would avoid answering an unexpected knock at the door 99% of the time. However, this was actual banging and repeated banging, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to at least look out of the window to see who it is.

People who are saying that it is odd or unusual to ignore the door obviously haven’t had to deal with anxiety and/or depression.

I’m another firmly in the people on MN are weird camp, if I am at home and can do so, I answer my door. I can hand on heart say I have never had Jehovah Witnesses or any other religious folk that seem to be marauding up the streets of other posters knock on my door, if they did I’m sure a polite no thank you would see them on their way. Yes I’ve had food delivery folk /Amazon whatever trying to deliver to us instead of neighbours I find a no mate that’s for next door perfectly easy to say, my neighbours do the same for me. Horror of horrors I’ll even take in a parcel for my neighbours ( and we are not even particularly friendly) if they are out, in fact the only one I won’t take in a parcel for is the neighbour who won’t answer her door if I take her parcel round so I just refuse to accept it. Her loss.

I can understand their reaction TBH given your response. "I heard you knocking but didn't bother answering it" is never going to land very well.

If you wanted to avoid confrontation you should just have said you hadn't heard them knocking due to having headphones on, or something like that.

Such a sad OP. Ignoring a particularly inconvenient knock is understandable. Ignoring repeated daytime banging on principle, as stated here, is something else entirely.

As PP said, we teach our DDs to do this very thing if they are afraid they are being followed, sometimes after dark. For those who find this behaviour acceptable, is this the response you would wish for yourself, or a woman or girl you love?

The circs prompting the banging cannot be known to the person refusing to answer the door.

I was thinking of my late sibling too, who stopped breathing once when they were about 6. My mum went careering off for the next door neighbour, who thankfully responded and helped with MTM until the ambulance arrived.

I'd be really apologetic and upset if I hadn't answered somebody frantically hammering the door in an emergency.

I struggle to understand the ' I never answer my door attitude'

I have been thinking to the times I have answered my door to an unexpected knock.
Sure , I have had cold callers over the years but I say that I am sorry but I don't want to buy anything. However I have also had the police call round to give me some information, my son's girlfriend turn up when DS wasn't home and he told her he would be home soon and 'mum is in, she'll make you a brew'. A friend called in unexpectedly as she had an interview in the area but had left her phone at work. I've had people from United Utilites call to say the water will be off for several hours. I've had neighbours calling round with food to share at Eid and another one pre warning about a party they were going to have at the weekend.

I even had a neighbour knock at 5am to tell me someone had broken into my house through the back window.

All of these calls were either helpful or nice. Why would I not answer to this. If it is because they might be a religious group or called caller sellers, well I am a grown woman who can be tell them that I am not interested.

Exactly. I struggle to understand why people wouldn’t answer the door.