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Original poster

Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

1000 replies

Scrumbler · 01/02/2023 12:18

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

OP posts:

aSofaNearYou · 03/02/2023 19:25

poetryandwine · 03/02/2023 18:12

If you wish to be grammatical, @WisherWood , we are ‘openers’, not ‘opener’s’. As a review of the posts will show you that we are much less inflammatory than the ‘closers’ and many of us carefully qualified our statements, I wonder whether you think we should be equally insulted -not least by your ungrounded use of the characterisation ‘obtuse’?

Completely disagree with this. A couple of outliers does not change the fact that the vast majority of people that don't always open their door have simply explained why they don't, whereas most that do have added on something about how those that don't are "a decline in society", "weird" or "anxious", or they hope one day they have an emergency and nobody answers the door.

Not sure how anyone could come to the conclusion that those who don't answer the door have been ruder, tbh.

deliciousdevilwoman · 03/02/2023 19:25

SaponificationQueen · 03/02/2023 19:21

I have a friend who doesn’t understand not to come by unannounced. When she does, I don’t answer the door. She doesn’t understand boundaries. I usually say I’m sorry I missed you. Then something like I was probably in the shower. I don’t go to her place unannounced. I call ahead, like when she wanted tickets to a Crab Feed. I asked her when would be a good time to stop by. To me, that’s common courtesy.

100% this

WisherWood · 03/02/2023 19:34

If nothing else, this thread is a magnificent lesson in observation bias.

There is apparently something so binary about doors.

phoenixrosehere · 03/02/2023 19:42

Islandgirl68 · 03/02/2023 18:14

You did nothing wrong, and it is not weird to notanswer the door, sometimes I do that as I don't want to answer the door to some one trying to sell me something or a charity trying to get me to sign up to a monthly donation. So ignore people who say it is weird. Instead of just banging on the door why didn't they call tour name and say its such and such from next door we need help. Don't feel bad for not answering the door. Sometimes my mum did it too as she did not want to answer the door to religious people. I was home ill from school znd went to answer the door my mum had being ignoring, it was Mormons that she did not want uo speak too. 😆

Instead of just banging on the door why didn't they call tour name and say its such and such from next door we need help.

Agree

If I’m in the middle of something and hear knocking and no one saying anything and it stopping, I’m going to think it was likely a delivery my DH forgot to mention or it wasn’t urgent since nothing is being said. I’ve had banging on my door, nothing being said only for it to be some school age boys messing around. I wouldn’t think to myself it’s someone needing help unless they state it.

Mirabai · 03/02/2023 19:54

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/02/2023 18:30

If it's pompous to have a productive and well-ordered life, then I wear the badge proudly.

I also have noted that those who resort to ad hominem insults generally lack the ability to contribute in a more mature or intellectual way to the discussion at hand. My sympathies.

Show quote history

Oh it continues..

What is insulting the intelligence of your interlocutors if not an ad hominem insult?

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 19:56

Imagine being upset because someone has knocked on your front door, which you've furnished with the facility to knock ..... or a door knocker....

It's just so out there, for them to do that!

The trespassing, peace disturbing feckers!!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/02/2023 20:21

SchoolTripDrama · 03/02/2023 16:07

I had a young boy knock on my door once in a panic. A man had pulled up whilst he was playing on the street and asked him to get in and go with him. His parents had obviously taught him to knock on a door & ask to call for help. He did so I called his parents who arrived 2/3 mins later (without a thank you 🙄). But imagine if all of us played this 'No answering the door without prior arrangement' bollocks? No idea why he didn't have his own phone as he was 12/13 but still. My point remains.

So the advice his parents gave him was “If a stranger scares you, run to a different stranger for help”?

There’s a flaw in that logic somewhere…

FieldsOfRoses · 03/02/2023 20:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Rollingaroundinmud · 03/02/2023 20:24

poetryandwine · 03/02/2023 17:51

@Zelda, you ascribed motive in the first paragraph quoted here. ManyYANBUs have throughout the thread - @FieldsOfRoses accused @mathanxiety of being a meddler and there have have been a number of similarly baseless posts. (Some, but far fewer, from YABUs. Just count.) That is not logical, well grounded or polite.

Show quote history

There is some CF out there who will take advantage of your good nature because they don’t know how to behave. When you tell them that it’s too much and you have 4 children to look after and all they seem to do is try to offload their offspring. I am the problem and rude. It all started of with answering my door and it weren’t now and then it was all the time.

AaaaaandBreathe · 03/02/2023 20:26

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 19:56

Imagine being upset because someone has knocked on your front door, which you've furnished with the facility to knock ..... or a door knocker....

It's just so out there, for them to do that!

The trespassing, peace disturbing feckers!!

She wasn't upset someone knocked her door. She was upset at her neighbours being abusive towards her because she didn't answer her door. Unsure how OP is being made out to the bad one here.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/02/2023 20:34

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 19:56

Imagine being upset because someone has knocked on your front door, which you've furnished with the facility to knock ..... or a door knocker....

It's just so out there, for them to do that!

The trespassing, peace disturbing feckers!!

Except that she didn't fault them for knocking at her door. She is upset because they took umbrage and were rude to her, as though she were obliged to open the door at their convenience, or be a mind reader that the neighbour woman needed help.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/02/2023 20:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I don't have one, either, nor a bell.

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 20:37

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune she didn't answer the door because

She has social anxiety and only answers her side door and she has a baby and she had a dog!

She still owns a door with a knocker on it though!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/02/2023 20:39

I made that comment in response to a specific point about adult children unexpectedly visiting their parents from miles away. You wouldn’t be “just passing” in that case.

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 20:41

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune oh give over! You've not got a knocker or a bell..... did you buy the house like that?

Rollingaroundinmud · 03/02/2023 20:44

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 03/02/2023 20:21

So the advice his parents gave him was “If a stranger scares you, run to a different stranger for help”?

There’s a flaw in that logic somewhere…

Show quote history

You read my mind I would have ran home.

poetryandwine · 03/02/2023 20:44

I think that’s fair enough, @Rollingaroundinmud . You’ve been taken advantage of. You have good reason. I’ve periodically taken note of that on this thread

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 20:50

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune did you have the door without knocker or bell, specifically installed for you?

Because it's beyond odd!

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 03/02/2023 20:57

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 20:41

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune oh give over! You've not got a knocker or a bell..... did you buy the house like that?

My house also have neither. Can’t remember if my old door had a knocker

FieldsOfRoses · 03/02/2023 21:00

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Blossomtoes · 03/02/2023 21:01

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Go ahead and do it. See you in court.

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 21:05

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Bring it on....... but why have you got a buzzer on your door..... how dangerous inviting people to use it!!

a1poshpaws · 03/02/2023 21:07

I can't for the life of me understand all these people who think not answering your door (any door, never mind the front one!) is weird in some way.

Unless I hear someone yelling "help" I'll happily ignore anyone unexpected coming to my door if I happen to be (a) busy (b) not busy but having fun with my dogs/engrossed in a book or dvd (c) having a bit of the bed rest I desperately need due to a health condition or (d) in a down phase of my illness and just can't face contact with the outside world or (e) frankly can't be bothered with people.

These are my choices, and nobody has a smidgeon of a right to either deny me them or judge me for them.

Now, jog on, all you compulsive or brain-washed judgey-judgey door answerers and leave us private souls alone.

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 21:07

@Smilethoughyourheartisaching how old is your house?

Remember when people used to knock read your gas and electric meters?

If you can't remember if your old door had a knocker....... you can't have been very popular?

If no one ever ever tried to get your attention?

Not the postman? Not ever?

dogdaydown · 03/02/2023 21:08

Batshit crazy people ignore the door being knocked!

Simple!

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