Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

Why should she install a gadget when her present policy is working for her??

Same with my elderly farmer neighbour. He loves popping round (and we love seeing him). It's easy for us to tell him we're busy if that's the case. But it's equally easy to answer the door and pass the time of day.
My mum (sadly died last year) never used to call first but would drop by when she needed a change of scene from her caring duties with dad. It was always lovely to think she came here for that break. I miss those knocks tbh.

If you ‘re talking to me, @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune I had a little eave of happy nostalgia. My sense of self worth isn’t linked to anything as trivial as this.

I, too, am home in the daytime because it is a research/writing/marking day. Personally I am able to shift gears, but until you and others brought this up repeatedly I would not have thought to mention it

What if I travel for miles to find they’re out, or are just going out? It wastes my time and assumes they sit at home all day just waiting for me to appear unannounced.

Sometimes people are passing and just want to call in. If you're busy or about to go out you can say 'lovely to see you, but I'm just on my way out'. Or, you can completely ignore them, which just seems odd to me.

You know, I don't see any of the "non-openers" here insulting the "openers" or questioning their dedication to community, kindness, etc.

Why do the "openers" just not accept that people are different and we all are free to run our households as we see fit? I don't malign "openers" and don't understand why they are on here disingenuously insulting the rest of us, or slyly suggesting that "one day you may need help and the person you knock at may not open their door...." as if they are licking their chops over such a scenario.

We all have the right to the level of privacy we choose. Living in a neighbourhood does not oblige us to be readily available to people in nearby houses. If you choose to be, that's your lookout, but it doesn't make busy, private people wrong or weird.

Really? Two of them have had posts deleted!

You know, if the only examples you can stretch to are people with dementia.... I don't believe there is anyone who holds cognitively impaired persons to ordinary standards of manners.

Furthermore, if you enjoy opening your door to all and sundry, have at it. Not a single person here is telling you to not do so. Just be aware that many of us don't, and confine your dropping-in to people who've already indicated it's OK.

Well said.
The "opener's" are the type of obtuse, one dimensional people that have a complete inability to understand the concept of free choice, even in one's own home🙄.

The neighbours are entitled to have gotten a friggt but to think they can harangue their neighbours makes them complete CF's.

I feel for the OP having such complete twats in close proximity to her and I would be firmly telling them to keep their distance if they approached me again.

Errr @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune did I say they had dementia? And if I did, would that make them less valid. No. Mr P very much has his marbles. And my mum died of a stroke.

@Zelda, you ascribed motive in the first paragraph quoted here. ManyYANBUs have throughout the thread - @FieldsOfRoses accused @mathanxiety of being a meddler and there have have been a number of similarly baseless posts. (Some, but far fewer, from YABUs. Just count.) That is not logical, well grounded or polite.

The "opener's" are the type of obtuse, one dimensional people that have a complete inability to understand the concept of free choice, even in one's own home

If you're trying to prove your polite and respectful, that may not be the best start.

You're. I was so offended, my grammar left me.

Again, some deliveries do. I get many courier and mail deliveries per week - some are tracked some aren’t - depends what the retailer has specified. And even when they are tracked they don’t necessarily turn up in the allotted time frame.

I’m super busy, work from home, studying, carer for 2 elderly parents, but friends and neighbours drop by - some text some don’t - if I’m busy I can say so.

If you wish to be grammatical, @WisherWood , we are ‘openers’, not ‘opener’s’. As a review of the posts will show you that we are much less inflammatory than the ‘closers’ and many of us carefully qualified our statements, I wonder whether you think we should be equally insulted -not least by your ungrounded use of the characterisation ‘obtuse’?

You did nothing wrong, and it is not weird to notanswer the door, sometimes I do that as I don't want to answer the door to some one trying to sell me something or a charity trying to get me to sign up to a monthly donation. So ignore people who say it is weird. Instead of just banging on the door why didn't they call tour name and say its such and such from next door we need help. Don't feel bad for not answering the door. Sometimes my mum did it too as she did not want to answer the door to religious people. I was home ill from school znd went to answer the door my mum had being ignoring, it was Mormons that she did not want uo speak too. 😆

Could you sound any more pompous 😂

Actually, @FieldsOfRoses I prefer your last post. I hope you don’t mind! It’s hypothetical (and I don’t remember what she said either at the moment). It’s straightforward. No vitriol. It doesn’t sound so personal. All the difference in the world.

If it's pompous to have a productive and well-ordered life, then I wear the badge proudly.

I also have noted that those who resort to ad hominem insults generally lack the ability to contribute in a more mature or intellectual way to the discussion at hand. My sympathies.

The bit in bold was me quoting somebody else. I could have tidied up their grammar, but I thought I'd let it stand. And I've been contributing throughout, and have skim read quite a few posts. More fool me. Mind you, when I say I've skim read, at least I've broadly worked out who's saying what.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune pompous is not ordered, you're a scream with your posts though ..... so so funny!

It's not coz of anxiety, except most of the ignoring the doors posters are claiming that!

Sorry, @WisherWood

I'd pop round, apologise that your not answering the door caused her further upset and stress, explain again that you tend not to answer the door and why, suggest that if she needs you in future to use your side door, say that you truly don't want to fall out, ask how the baby is and ask her round for coffee.

I have a friend who doesn’t understand not to come by unannounced. When she does, I don’t answer the door. She doesn’t understand boundaries. I usually say I’m sorry I missed you. Then something like I was probably in the shower. I don’t go to her place unannounced. I call ahead, like when she wanted tickets to a Crab Feed. I asked her when would be a good time to stop by. To me, that’s common courtesy.