Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

YAY! ALL OF WHAT THESE WONDERFUL WOMEN ARE POSTING!!! 😄💞

Who ARE THE 37% OF YANBU? Where are your fucking heads?!

Just because someone knocks on your door, or for that matter telephones, doesn't mean you have to respond in a Pavlovian fashion.
It's about freedom of choice.

Yanbu OP
You couldn't answer your door as were in middle of something with your Baby and dog & couldn't just leave them to go down and open door

I quite often don't hear my door if I'm not expecting anyone or not looking out for a parcel, sometimes I'm in the middle of a MS teams meeting WFH (during which my personal mobile would be off) or I can't get to the door in time.

If someone shouted at me for not answering my door, they would be in the wrong.

Margaret Thatcher was right.

There really is no such thing as society. Not in Britain anyway.

Do you really all live in such fear of other people that you think you'd get a brick through your window for telling the JWs or the new window people a flat out 'No and don't come back'? Is Britain really so lawless and violent?

@SouperNoodle if you don't live in a perfect neighborhood, so was on your own with a baby and someone was hammering on your door would you answer it. Or if it was the middle of the night. Most people don't live in a place or situation to safely open the door to a stranger. Family and kids first always

You did nothing wrong I don’t answer the door either when I’m in myself. In fact our local police tweeted not to answer the door without checking first. Due to criminals pretending to be delivery drivers and rocking up with fake parcels only to push their way into your house. If I’m not expecting you I’m not answering . Family and friends know to go my side door if they need me.

@hailer

Do you honestly believe most people who open the door would find a dangerous person standing there on the other side? Or that there's a good chance the person knocking is a criminal intending to hurt you in some way?

When they know you've got a young baby and they know you don't answer the front door anyway, it's hardly reason to be rude towards you after the event.

It doesn't matter who is knocking at the door, if no-one answers common sense tells you to fuck off and knock somewhere else.

Can imagine your neighbour was in a panic but if it was that urgent why didn't she shout your name? I'd be fucking livid if she'd woken me or the baby up.

Not your fault at all and I'd let them stew, maybe they're not very nice people anyway. I wonder how 'mr & mrs neighbour's' conversation got round to you being an ignorant cow and all the rest of it. She ought to come round and apologise having reflected on things, it wasn't your fault that their son had a mishap.

Only on MN do people not answer their front door! They are probably baffled that there are people around who don’t answer when someone knocks. But people here won’t be as no-one answers on MN. I can see why they think it’s a bit odd that someone’s tells them they don’t answer their door. But equally I think they are being pretty rude

No. But anyone I know I would expect them to call before. If I got a random knock at the door then they are a stranger to me or uninvited.

Well most of the time someone isn’t trespassing to chat, but knocking on your door for a purpose. You know, that’s what happens in life. Normal people tend to check who is there, and largely answer their door. Isn’t it considered a normal activity to knock on someone’s door and actually expect them to answer? I’d never consider someone is trespassing if they need to knock on my door. What a load of rubbish, seriously?

Up to you if you answer the door! Your neighbours are idiots! It's not like you knew it was an emergency.

OP you have a young kid and you did not do anything wrong as such. But imagine this scenario: something is wrong with your kid, and you are so distraught you go and bang on your neighbour's door and they never answer it? How would you feel? And later they tell you that they never answer their door unless they are expecting visitors?

Your own answer to this question is the right answer. No matter what strangers on the internet feel about it! If you feel your neighbours would be right in not opening the door when you banged on theirs (in this hypothetical emergency scenario), then you can rest assured YANBU.

Personally, for me, I can ignore knocking and I have done so. But repeated banging - no, I can never ignore it. Repeated banging denotes an emergency, and the first thought that will cross my mind is, oh someone is in trouble, they are probably looking for help. So I will definitely go and peep outside, at least to see who it is. That's the minimum I will do, unless I am bathing the baby or something and physically cannot get to the door quickly.

One of the perks of living in a neighbourhood is the assurance that if there's an emergency you can count on some one to assist you. At least this is what we do in the third world I live in.

If you don't want to answer your door that is completely up to you. It is your home.
It would be different if you had witnessed the accident. But you didn't.
As an adult, your neighbour obviously managed to deal with the situation.
She is over reacting.

You said you'd have answered it if you knew it was an emergency but how would you know that unless you answer it? Maybe get a video doorbell so you can see whose at your door. Most callers would go to the front door

True story here: we live on a normally quiet country lane. but it does suffer from people using it as a high speed late night cut through. Twice since we've lived here there's been a hammering on the door late at night (after midnight). Twice we've been greeted by a bloodied face - a driver had crashed further up and sought help at the nearest house. I remember one very vividly. She'd just passed her test, was clearly drunk and very lucky to be alive, having crawled out of her over turned car. I sat her down in the kitchen and did my best to track her parents down by phone and clean her up while my husband yomped up the lane to see the damage - the car was completely blocking it so the next call was the police who knocked and were let in.
Theother one wasnt quite as bloody but that girl always remains in my head, I'm so glad we were the people there to care for her (she was mightily cut up, and shocked).
We were knackered the next day but I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn't answered - she'd have had miles to walk and I doubt she'd have stayed conscious much longer. Her parents knocked the next day and handed over a card and flowers, which was very sweet of them. Their daughter had no doubt lost her license but was in one piece and had been looked after by a couple of strangers. Who wouldn't though? Who would have cowered and skulked and ignored?
We didnt think twice about answering. And frankly had I been alone (day or night) I wouldn't have done either. Obvs if I'd been on the loo there'd have been a delay!

I'm not sure what the moral of my long story is - I suppose that life is full of surprises. One day you might be the surpriser, one day the surprised. I'd hope that someone would have helped my daughter or son had they been daft enough to have done what that particular late night caller did.

Surely you can hear if knocking sounds urgent?

The only times I don't answer my door is if I'm in the shower or in the garden (don't hear it then).

Then again, one of my neighbours has something going on he wants my support with. He has my support but is difficult to deal with. If I knew it was him and I just wasn't in the mood, I'd probably ignore it. I might have ignored the door once when I was having breakfast in bed and could see it was the Jehovah's Witnesses too.

On a lighthearted note if I may - given the door opening debate on MN and the divisiveness it causes - and I'm looking at myself here as much as anyone - maybe an apt theme tune for MN would be

'Let 'Em In' by Wings - think about the lyrics

The odd thing is that, expressed differently, you'd see a fair bit of middle ground here. Most people are saying that they will answer the door under particular circumstances, and they'd check first. There are a few 'no, never answer the door' and a very few 'always ready by the curtains' but most are more 'won't answer if I'm busy and it's inconvenient, will check and see who it is otherwise'.

It's just that for some reason this has deteriorated into everyone who answers their door being entitled and expecting door answering all the time, no matter what. And people who don't answer the door being nutters who hate community. I guess doors are, by their very nature, divisive.

I wonder what the conviction rate is for this type of trespass and disturbing the peace crime?