Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

@StaleCrumbs I fear your post may also be deleted.....

That's very unkind and a personal attack. If you can't put a point across without nastiness, it's really not good.

No I don't respond the CAPITALS, because it's rude.

😂

Mumsnet just get more batshit by the day.

You would move house because your neighbour wasn't happy that you didn't answer the door? That's pathetic of you. Sweet Jesus grow a sense of self.

Send her a heartfelt note and a bunch of flowers.

Based on your own comments, I really don’t think it matters if mine do get deleted.

I’m with you. I never answer my door unless I’m expecting a parcel or I have guests coming. Then again I live in a 3 storey house and just cba to run all the way downstairs 🤣

Is this the type of community that you want to live in? Everyone in their own houses ignoring the door. How would you feel if your baby needed help and you ran to your neighbours and they all ignored you ?

It's your own house, do what you like about answering the door.

Since I lived near a place near where there were 5 armed, coordinated burglaries (if you can call them that, they barged through the door with weapons when the owners answered) at the same time, I don't open the door. I did invest in a smart doorbell instead so now I still don't open the door unless needed but obviously do answer.

Your faux pas was telling them you heard it. Now they know, as a pp said, send them a card to apologise and maybe cite safety reasons if that's what it is. Maybe a gift for the kid and something for them.

I agree with others that it’s a short sighted and problematic policy to never answer your door. At the same time , by the sounds of your updates it wasn’t frantic knocking that signalled and emergency , it was only very brief and you were with your baby , so not that unusual that you didn’t get to the door (never mind your slightly weird blanket policy). I think you were vvvvv unreasonable though, after you realised the situation, to tell your neighbours you were there and deliberately didn’t answer!! No wonder they were upset. Did you even explain that you didn’t know it was them- because that’s not clear from your post..

Yes I'm weird, I don't answer the door as I'm deaf and most times don't hear knocking until they're leaving if at all. I don't have my phone ringer on for the same reason, it just annoys everyone else and I don't hear it.
Weird perhaps, but I'm defo not the only person who does this.

Lol, let me clarify. I mean I would go to the door with haste, not see the opportunity for a quick workout. ;)

This thread has reminded me of something. Back in 2010 I was living in a purpose built block of flats, a woman rang my doorbell I ignored it. Next thing she'd entered the communal area of the flats - I was surprised at this because you couldn't get in unless someone lets you in. Next thing the CF was knocking my actual flat door! I mean wtf!!!!!!!! Because I was a doormat/people pleaser I opened it. The woman seemed very benign to be fair just asked a question that was so unmemorable I don't even recall it ! However I was still annoyed with myself. The people pleaser in me felt I had an obligation to answer the door when she knocked/rang the second time ! Aargh !!

Lol, let me clarify. I mean I would go to the door with haste, not see the opportunity for a quick workout. ;)

No it is not odd and weird. The are loads of reasons why.

I can’t understand why so many on this thread think they are obliged to disturb someone’s free time when they are in the sanctuary of their own home. It is very rude to presume they are.

That may be true, but it's her front door, and she's under no obligation to answer it. As she said, had she realised it was a potential emergency she would have answered, but presumably she doesn't have the ability to see through doors.

Bit of an overreaction from neighbour although understandable if a bit shaken up at the time and later apologised. But I agree with the posters saying it's odd to not answer door (unless chilling in dressing gown etc).

Definitely seems a bit odd not to answer the door. I’m forever getting people at the door thinking I’m a different house/street as their sat nab has brought them to the wrong place. But I do answer the door if I’m home. Mostly so I can send them to the correct street. I’m talking about deliveries and also take a ways. I even got a loud doorbell as I was forever getting delivery notes for things I’d ordered saying I wasn’t home when I was as I couldn’t always hear a hand knocking - we use the back door for everything access wise as that’s where the road is and I mostly sit through the front of the house.

I’ve embarrassed the postman answering the door with a naked baby in my hand or a baby hanging off a boob in the past!

Occasionally I’m in the shower but the bathroom window is above the door so I’m sure whoever is knocking could see the steam and hear the shower!!

My only exception is when my kids are at their dad’s on Halloween and I don’t want to be up and down for trick or treaters. I turn the lights down and pretend I’m not home!!

And when people do randomly turn up at the front of my house that doesn’t even have a proper door but French sliding doors instead and blinds across, I still answer - they’re often lost and can’t figure out how to get to my usable door if are at the wrong house.

And you can just carry a sleeping baby to answer the door so it’s not alone with the dog.

The op has just had a baby cool down you want her to feel bad she didn’t know. Where is your compassion and empathy for others?

@Rollingaroundinmud no mention of baby in OP? Just she doesn't answer the door?

Subsequent post then says that she had a baby.

But it really wasn't that relevant and having a baby really doesn't require empathy about answering a knock on the door.

@Rollingaroundinmud no mention of baby in OP? Just she doesn't answer the door?

It’s literally in the first line of the opening post.

What problem? The OP is perfectly happy just not answering the door if she’s not expecting anyone. You’re ‘solving’ a problem that doesn’t exist.

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.

The door is there for your convenience, not others'.

I don't answer mine unless I'm expecting someone on a pre-arranged visit. I'm busy, I WFH and have numerous DIY projects ongoing. I don't ask for assistance from neigbhours and I don't expect them to use me as a source of assistance.

Naturally if I'm relaxing in the front room and see it's one of them at the door, I would open it. But if I'm on a Zoom call or bathing the dog or painting the bedroom ceiling or napping or whatever, no, I unapologetically don't answer the door.

Your neighbours are batshit. Don't apologizse.

“Girlgift97” You sound very awkward I am guessing this has happened to you.

In all seriousness, why do you say this?

The front door of my house exists for my use; it's not a guaranteed portal for every tom, dick and harry who wants my attention. I use my time as I see fit.