Page 32 | Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

Scrumbler · 2023-02-01T12:18:39+00:00

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually. Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it. Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was. He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in. I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door. I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened. To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

ReneBumsWombats · 02/02/2023 20:53

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/02/2023 20:48

Haha, who would have thought it would be such a divisive topic 😂😂

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Well you've had a comment deleted, so the subject must matter to you a lot to have become offensive about it.

LaDamaDeElche · 02/02/2023 20:53

That's what peepholes and door cams are for.

ReneBumsWombats · 02/02/2023 20:54

LaDamaDeElche · 02/02/2023 20:53

That's what peepholes and door cams are for.

Oh is THAT it? I mean, er, yes yes, of course....

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/02/2023 20:57

ReneBumsWombats · 02/02/2023 20:53

Well you've had a comment deleted, so the subject must matter to you a lot to have become offensive about it.

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Ooh thanks for keeping tabs, much appreciated 😘

LaDamaDeElche · 02/02/2023 21:03

ReneBumsWombats Well, yes, if people have an aversion to answering unsolicited door knocks, then peepholes and door cams can help them avoid this particular kind if situation. What other purpose do they serve apart from...you know...to see who's at the door? Or am I missing another obvious function?

Oldbutwiser · 02/02/2023 21:04

My family and friends know to text or phone me to let me know they're coming. If they turn up unexpectedly they knock and if I don't answer I shout through the letterbox. I certainly wouldn't answer if I didn't know who it was pounding on the door. Why didn't the neighbour shout who it was and say it was an emergency?

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:05

Oldbutwiser · 02/02/2023 21:04

My family and friends know to text or phone me to let me know they're coming. If they turn up unexpectedly they knock and if I don't answer I shout through the letterbox. I certainly wouldn't answer if I didn't know who it was pounding on the door. Why didn't the neighbour shout who it was and say it was an emergency?

Possibly because they were highly stressed? Not always easy to think straight in those situations.

Oldbutwiser · 02/02/2023 21:06

Should say they shout through the letterbox

Oldbutwiser · 02/02/2023 21:08

Fair enough.

ReneBumsWombats · 02/02/2023 21:13

LaDamaDeElche · 02/02/2023 21:03

ReneBumsWombats Well, yes, if people have an aversion to answering unsolicited door knocks, then peepholes and door cams can help them avoid this particular kind if situation. What other purpose do they serve apart from...you know...to see who's at the door? Or am I missing another obvious function?

I'm making a very weak and somewhat salacious joke. I'll see myself off the stage!

MarthaMC · 02/02/2023 21:19

I think it's totally OK to not answer the door and I respect the times I've knocked on my neighbours doors and they've chosen not to answer (but lights have been on/car in drive etc.) If you can ignore a phone call and reply to a message later you can ignore your door. OP has a baby and is probable not keen to be getting up and down all the time to tell people she's not interested in xyz. You're only meant to use an ambulance if someone's life is in imminent danger, sounds like this was a broken bone at worst. In a real emergency the person will be banging and shouting help. And to all the 'whataboutisms' well what about if you were in the shower, the back garden, using headphones, breastfeeding, hard of hearing, taking a nap...? You can't make sure you're always available to answer the door just in case it's important!

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:22

MarthaMC · 02/02/2023 21:19

I think it's totally OK to not answer the door and I respect the times I've knocked on my neighbours doors and they've chosen not to answer (but lights have been on/car in drive etc.) If you can ignore a phone call and reply to a message later you can ignore your door. OP has a baby and is probable not keen to be getting up and down all the time to tell people she's not interested in xyz. You're only meant to use an ambulance if someone's life is in imminent danger, sounds like this was a broken bone at worst. In a real emergency the person will be banging and shouting help. And to all the 'whataboutisms' well what about if you were in the shower, the back garden, using headphones, breastfeeding, hard of hearing, taking a nap...? You can't make sure you're always available to answer the door just in case it's important!

Whataboutisms like in the first part of your post?

Saju1 · 02/02/2023 21:22

I understand not answering your front door. I don't do it because the previous tenants haven't changed their address and we keep getting bailiffs, so I open the window lol. If you feel really bad, just take them some wine and chocolate

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:22

Well, firstly, it sounds like you don’t know what the word disingenuous means.

Secondly, I am very saddened to hear that someone had something terrible happen and I empathise with the poster about that. It is brave of her to share her experience in this context, and I felt it was important to acknowledge it.

Thirdly, my point is very much that it is entirely up to people who are within their own home to choose what they do or don’t do within that home FOR WHATEVER REASON. My point is that it seems that there are a lot of people on this thread who apparently feel that there is an obligation on people who are WITHIN THEIR OWN HOME, do perform an action and have an interaction they DID NOT ASK FOR. For many people (myself included), they will answer the door. For some people, they will choose not to, and whatever their reasoning, THAT IS OK!!

If this was about pretty much anything else involving what someone has done in their own home, im quite sure any reasonable person would say “it’s your house, do what you want”. So why is this situation different? It doesn’t sound like the neighbour made it clear she felt there was an emergency (perhaps if she had been screaming through the letter box, or making a racket on the door OP usually answers and was ignored, I’d feel differently). But OP has been shamed and called names on here for exercising her absolute right to choose her own actions about something and I think that’s disgusting.

I note in a previous comment by you that you would always answer the door (or words to that effect) because you don’t have “anxiety or issues” like other mumsnetters. Well that’s great for you - you also sound like you have no empathy or compassion. I know what I would choose.

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 02/02/2023 21:24

Glad the child is ok, that is the main thing in this whole crazy situation!!

I’m more likely to not answer the door to be honest, and I think calling people odd/strange/weird did not answering is very unkind.

There could be many reasons why someone wouldn’t want to open the door.

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:26

My reply to @Girlgift97 by the way. I didn’t tag the lovely lady in my reply.

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:26

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:22

Well, firstly, it sounds like you don’t know what the word disingenuous means.

Secondly, I am very saddened to hear that someone had something terrible happen and I empathise with the poster about that. It is brave of her to share her experience in this context, and I felt it was important to acknowledge it.

Thirdly, my point is very much that it is entirely up to people who are within their own home to choose what they do or don’t do within that home FOR WHATEVER REASON. My point is that it seems that there are a lot of people on this thread who apparently feel that there is an obligation on people who are WITHIN THEIR OWN HOME, do perform an action and have an interaction they DID NOT ASK FOR. For many people (myself included), they will answer the door. For some people, they will choose not to, and whatever their reasoning, THAT IS OK!!

If this was about pretty much anything else involving what someone has done in their own home, im quite sure any reasonable person would say “it’s your house, do what you want”. So why is this situation different? It doesn’t sound like the neighbour made it clear she felt there was an emergency (perhaps if she had been screaming through the letter box, or making a racket on the door OP usually answers and was ignored, I’d feel differently). But OP has been shamed and called names on here for exercising her absolute right to choose her own actions about something and I think that’s disgusting.

I note in a previous comment by you that you would always answer the door (or words to that effect) because you don’t have “anxiety or issues” like other mumsnetters. Well that’s great for you - you also sound like you have no empathy or compassion. I know what I would choose.

I PRESUME YOU'RE ANSWERING MY POST?

I DO KNOW WHAT DISINGENUOUS MEANS

I HOPE CAPITALS HELP YOU UNDERSTAND AS YOU SEEM TO NEED TO USE THEM WHEN TALKING TO

You need to quote or do the @ or I'm not alerted, it's much more effective than CAPITALS!

MarthaMC · 02/02/2023 21:27

Yep, I was intentionally adding them to show it can be done from both view points, hence my literal use of 'what about' glad you could follow it!

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:27

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:26

My reply to @Girlgift97 by the way. I didn’t tag the lovely lady in my reply.

Ah no CAPITALS though

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:28

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:26

My reply to @Girlgift97 by the way. I didn’t tag the lovely lady in my reply.

By the way I only read the first line of your post, because the whole CAPITAL thing just makes me roll my eyes and move on.

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 02/02/2023 21:28

StaleCrumbs · 02/02/2023 21:22

Well, firstly, it sounds like you don’t know what the word disingenuous means.

Secondly, I am very saddened to hear that someone had something terrible happen and I empathise with the poster about that. It is brave of her to share her experience in this context, and I felt it was important to acknowledge it.

Thirdly, my point is very much that it is entirely up to people who are within their own home to choose what they do or don’t do within that home FOR WHATEVER REASON. My point is that it seems that there are a lot of people on this thread who apparently feel that there is an obligation on people who are WITHIN THEIR OWN HOME, do perform an action and have an interaction they DID NOT ASK FOR. For many people (myself included), they will answer the door. For some people, they will choose not to, and whatever their reasoning, THAT IS OK!!

If this was about pretty much anything else involving what someone has done in their own home, im quite sure any reasonable person would say “it’s your house, do what you want”. So why is this situation different? It doesn’t sound like the neighbour made it clear she felt there was an emergency (perhaps if she had been screaming through the letter box, or making a racket on the door OP usually answers and was ignored, I’d feel differently). But OP has been shamed and called names on here for exercising her absolute right to choose her own actions about something and I think that’s disgusting.

I note in a previous comment by you that you would always answer the door (or words to that effect) because you don’t have “anxiety or issues” like other mumsnetters. Well that’s great for you - you also sound like you have no empathy or compassion. I know what I would choose.

Very well said.

T1Dmama · 02/02/2023 21:28

If I was panicking and needed help in an emergency I’d be upset if a neighbour ignored me knocking their door too…
It does seem odd not to ever answer your door.. what if someone was knocking to say the neighbours house was on fire and you needed to evacuate, or there was a gas leak, your car had rolled into the road or been hit…
I’d send them flowers and say you’re sorry you didn’t help, glad he’s ok

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 21:30

T1Dmama · 02/02/2023 21:28

If I was panicking and needed help in an emergency I’d be upset if a neighbour ignored me knocking their door too…
It does seem odd not to ever answer your door.. what if someone was knocking to say the neighbours house was on fire and you needed to evacuate, or there was a gas leak, your car had rolled into the road or been hit…
I’d send them flowers and say you’re sorry you didn’t help, glad he’s ok

Very well said

TXmomster · 02/02/2023 21:30

Not answering the door seems strange to me. Do you live in the city? I live in the country so I don’t have that many neighbors but if someone was frantically banging on my door, or even knocking loudly, I would literally run to it.

Times have changed too. People seem much more self-involved than in the past. The 90’s were a great time to grow up because people were forced to connect in person for the most part.

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 02/02/2023 21:40

T1Dmama · 02/02/2023 21:28

If I was panicking and needed help in an emergency I’d be upset if a neighbour ignored me knocking their door too…
It does seem odd not to ever answer your door.. what if someone was knocking to say the neighbours house was on fire and you needed to evacuate, or there was a gas leak, your car had rolled into the road or been hit…
I’d send them flowers and say you’re sorry you didn’t help, glad he’s ok

Thankfully it turned out not to be an emergency. I’m confused about why neighbour didn’t go to her own house where she knows where her phone is, rather than pounding on a door she doesn’t know will have a response. Especially when they have a baby and quite likely would be unable to answer.

It would have been awful if OP had called 999 for a non emergency