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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

1000 replies

Scrumbler · 01/02/2023 12:18

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

OP posts:
Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 07:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Trespass GrinGrinGrin banging with fists (knocking is using that knocker thing on your front door? No!) GrinGrin

Have all the qualifications you like, you've no common sense whatsoever!

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/02/2023 07:32

Well one day when it's your kid lying there OP maybe no one will overreact and call for help. Then you can fully enjoy the neighbourhood you've helped to create. In the meantime at least your neighbours will now know not to bother you.

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 07:35

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/02/2023 07:32

Well one day when it's your kid lying there OP maybe no one will overreact and call for help. Then you can fully enjoy the neighbourhood you've helped to create. In the meantime at least your neighbours will now know not to bother you.

And not to bother with her!

Manorbier · 02/02/2023 07:36

OP c'mon now your neighbours should know better than this. NO ONE on MN answers their door to unexpected guests and yes that dies include me!!

Manorbier · 02/02/2023 07:44

BurntOutGirl · 01/02/2023 12:27

Surely going back in their own home for the phone would be quicker then repeatedly banging on yours

Exactly this !!!!!

poetryandwine · 02/02/2023 08:52

@FieldsOfRoses can you point us to the PPs who have suggested getting out of the bath, off the loo, etc, in order to answer the door? In a post on p 24 you have attributed this suggestion without source and I cannot find it in the thread. OTOH many of us in the YABU camp are carefully qualifying our opinions with the specifics of the situation

poetryandwine · 02/02/2023 08:58

For clarity, @FieldsOfRoses I count having sex, or smelling like you just did, and being asleep in the Indisposed category also. These were your actual examples but again I don’t see the posts you refer to.

Sandra1984 · 02/02/2023 09:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

What a perfect life you have. I hope you or your family/children never have an emergency were you need to seek your neighbour for help.

Wexone · 02/02/2023 10:20

@FieldsOfRoses I had to double check that in the UK was the law covering the censu the same as Ireland where i am based ( It is). It is. Its a legal requirement which if refused you can be fined and prosecuted. It is advertised in many Ares that is happing so people are aware of it. I was in a hi vis clearly labeled who i was along with along with my id. If people didn't answer the door, a note was put through the door with my contact details what i was doing etc. People could ring text me with the details required i could drop their form back in the letter box even with a printed envelope if they didn't want it to be collected. I wasnt banging on doors, i rang the bell once or twice if no answer left my note and moved on. I had 1,000 house to do. Between three housing estates aswell as rural house, People saw me nearly every day walking around and could easily see who i was. If people were being abusive etc, i had no issue coming back to them with the guards in tow, something i had to do a few times unfortunately. Out of the rude and abusive people i did meet some lovely people. One women i met it was her 90th birthday, i was the only person she met that day and she had no phone calls yet. I went in and had a cup of tea with her, it made her so happy. Another person i helped was younger than me and couldn't write due to a long term injury. I felt good knowing i helped these people even in a little bit
With regards to your post quoting me and swearing in it, like why? Why do you need to swear and vent off so much anger, there is no need for it. Do you speak to people like that in real life? If so that that's similar to what i experienced, and that is why so many of team some who had done the census for over 20 years said they would never do it again. People are humans and unless they are being very abusive to you there is no need to be rude or abusive back. manners costs nothing. If you don't want to talk that's fine be polite about it. You can keep tp yourself but still be nice about it. You never know when you will need help.
On reading your other post there was a very sad case here in Ireland of a couple found dead in their homes, had been dead for nearly a year and no one knew. They had lived as someone described it as ghost, not venturing out not mixing, not part of the community even with Covid going on. People had tried to make the effort but they didn't reciprocate so they were left alone. It was shocking and so so sad that this is now the world we live in

aSofaNearYou · 02/02/2023 10:30

poetryandwine · 02/02/2023 08:52

@FieldsOfRoses can you point us to the PPs who have suggested getting out of the bath, off the loo, etc, in order to answer the door? In a post on p 24 you have attributed this suggestion without source and I cannot find it in the thread. OTOH many of us in the YABU camp are carefully qualifying our opinions with the specifics of the situation

It's a long thread but somebody did say something along the lines of "but nobody should let anything, even the call of nature, get in the way of answering their neighbours".

takealettermsjones · 02/02/2023 10:32

@Wexone You can complete the census online (that's how I did mine), so I assume the people on this thread who don't like to be disturbed by door knockers will have just done that.

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/02/2023 10:33

So many rude people. Why do so many of you think you’re entitled to someone’s free time when they’re in the privacy of their own home?

ButterCrackers · 02/02/2023 10:34

Tell your neighbours to get lost. You don’t have to answer your front door being knocked on. Could the neighbour have shouted help and call an ambulance to indicate a big problem and need of assistance? Could she not have run to other houses? Or shouted help in the street. It’s not your fault.

Wexone · 02/02/2023 10:34

@takealettermsjones i am based in Ireland ( mentioned in my post) we do not have the facility to do it online yet here.

Manorbier · 02/02/2023 10:56

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/02/2023 10:33

So many rude people. Why do so many of you think you’re entitled to someone’s free time when they’re in the privacy of their own home?

100% this

Redkettle · 02/02/2023 11:25

Top tip for MN's in Viz. People at home, avoid having to deal with the outside world and responding to calls of help by simply unplugging your landline and bricking up your front door.

WickedSerious · 02/02/2023 11:27

Redkettle · 02/02/2023 11:25

Top tip for MN's in Viz. People at home, avoid having to deal with the outside world and responding to calls of help by simply unplugging your landline and bricking up your front door.

I've done this,people just knocked on the windows.

Redkettle · 02/02/2023 11:28

WickedSerious · 02/02/2023 11:27

I've done this,people just knocked on the windows.

Show quote history

Ah jeez. Viz unreliable nowadays . Hahah

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 11:29

Redkettle · 02/02/2023 11:25

Top tip for MN's in Viz. People at home, avoid having to deal with the outside world and responding to calls of help by simply unplugging your landline and bricking up your front door.

GrinGrin

takealettermsjones · 02/02/2023 11:35

Redkettle · 02/02/2023 11:25

Top tip for MN's in Viz. People at home, avoid having to deal with the outside world and responding to calls of help by simply unplugging your landline and bricking up your front door.

Ah come on, nobody has a landline any more!

Ducks in preparation for onslaught 😆

Oakbeam · 02/02/2023 11:38

Ducks in preparation for onslaught 😆

We do. It’s very useful for giving out to people you don’t want to hear from again, particularly online forms that demand a phone number. The built-in call blocker means that they never get through.

WickedSerious · 02/02/2023 11:49

Oakbeam · 02/02/2023 11:38

Ducks in preparation for onslaught 😆

We do. It’s very useful for giving out to people you don’t want to hear from again, particularly online forms that demand a phone number. The built-in call blocker means that they never get through.

This is the main reason we've kept our landline,although I do become irrationally irritated every time it rings.

Reclaimtheoutdoors · 02/02/2023 12:07

Manorbier · 02/02/2023 10:56

100% this

Show quote history

yes, this. You really don’t know what someone is going through. They might be crying under their duvet for all you know. The level of entitlement is staggering.

OP you’re not weird. Many people don’t answer the door for all sorts of reasons.

MavisMcMinty · 02/02/2023 12:10

It’s hilarious that so many people are taking it so personally that other people don’t bother answering the door. Live and let live, FFS. We’re all different. If my doorbell rings it’s likely to be my trigger-happy sheep farmer neighbour, convinced my sheep-phobic dogs are terrorising his flock.

limitedperiodonly · 02/02/2023 12:38

aSofaNearYou · 02/02/2023 10:30

It's a long thread but somebody did say something along the lines of "but nobody should let anything, even the call of nature, get in the way of answering their neighbours".

Show quote history

That was me. It was after another of my replies to someone who put up the scenario of being on the toilet when someone knocked on the door for not answering. I felt the answer was obvious. In that situation most people would not open the door until they had finished, wiped and pulled their knickers up.

I was being flippant but I realise now that some people took me seriously. I keep forgetting that some people, perhaps you @aSofaNearYou, are very literal-minded. For the sake of those people I wish to clarify that it was not meant to be taken seriously but could be taken as guidance for those uncertain of the etiquette when the doorbell goes while they are mid-shit.

I do apologise for any confusion. I'll try not to do it again.

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