Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

It's kind of foolish to rely on your neighbours to alert you in the middle of the night when your house is on fire.

Mildly amusing, @Over40Overdating , but what does your comment have to do with previous posts? I certainly don’t recall anyone articulating similar thoughts to those you mock

I'm not reading 600 posts but it feels like a really sad indictment of society if you can no longer knock on a neighbour's door for help and expect a response. I would have thought the urgent banging of a panicking mother would sound quite different to the knock of a cold caller. I suppose I just can't quite understand anyone who doesn't respond to a knock on their front door or know how to competently respond to an unwanted caller. Your prerogative to ignore of course, but a lot of people are going to find that quite odd and your neighbour is going to remember that you ignored her when she needed help.

I don’t have a blanket “don’t open the door” rule. But I work from home and spend a lot of the day on calls. So I don’t answer the door when I’m working. Postie and Evri delivery men give it one knock and then put the parcel behind the gate. Any other time i come to the door it’s a pain in the arse person trying to sell something or other

@BadNomad very foolish, but it happens! I don't have such ridiculous smoke alarms that go off when I burn toast. I have reasonable ones that go off once in a while when cooking steak. All integrated, all safe.

But you carry on with your broom..

Eh? There's nothing wrong with my smoke alarms. They're integrated too. Wired up to the mains. I'm just a short-ass who can't reach the ceiling without a stick.

@BadNomad they shouldn't be going off for burnt toast, they're positioned incorrectly.

Mumsnet has a firm rule that no one should ever answer their door or allow visitors or tradesmen to use the loo. It’s a mortal sin.

You'll notice that nobody on this thread has actually said that nobody should answer their doors, just that they personally don't. Lots of people have said you should, though!

@aSofaNearYou read the thread again, we've even had people posting that the police say you shouldn't answer your door.....

Selective reading?

I haven't rtft it's too long but I don't get not answering the door. If you don't know who it is why don't you look?!

One time, I was knocking on a door and I could see the woman sitting inside watching tv and ignoring me. I just wanted to tell her she had a small child hanging dangerously out of an upstairs window!

Another time, I answered my door and it was a neighbour's child, very upset because he'd gone round to a friend but they weren't in so he'd come back home only nobody was answering the door to let him in. His Mum was ignoring the knocking.

It is quite odd not to answer your door and, yes, it's your choice.

I hope that, if ever you have an 'emergency', the door is answered.

It's ignorant and strange.

Sorry, I don't mean you are ignorant and strange but your actions, in this case, are.

Just because your parents did it, doesn't make it normal.

Just explain to ratty neighbour to use your side door next time there's an emergency.

I live alone, and someone banged, yes banged on my front door at 10.15 pm on Saturday. I didn't answer it as I was scared, too late for a social call surely? On Sunday morning I noticed someone has forced open my external meter cupboard, it's hanging off it's hinges, as are some of the neighbouring properties.

OP didn't say she didn't open the door because she was anxious - that came later. She said she didn't do it because she thought it was a religious person or a cold caller and she ignored the banging on the door. Fair enough.

It turned out to be her neighbour who was panicking because her child had hurt himself. Who among us hasn't panicked and asked for help? I have, but perhaps other people on this thread have been lucky so far. Anyway, for anyone who doesn't know, sometimes people help us and sometimes they can't be arsed.

The neighbours are now upset with OP because she not only ignored them but told them that. Not that she was anxious but that she heard the knocking and just ignored it. Not a wise thing to do but she can't take it back now.

I can see why the neighbours were a bit annoyed about even if people are insisting they can't. I wouldn't have shouted at her. There's no point. The boy is all right. Instead I would have said quietly to my husband: "Okay. So in future I'm not going to piss in her ear even if her brain is on fire" and my husband would have said: "And neither will I." And that would be it.

OP made a mistake. We all do it. We have to live with our mistakes and the result of hers is that her neighbours don't like her any more. Oh well, there must be other neighbours.

Personally I think it is weird, antisocial, selfish, unthinking whatever not to open the door, answer the phone, talk to people in the street and above all to help people. I like doing that. I'm not a fool and I don't put myself in danger. I'm not perfect either and there are times when I've thought: "Oh shit! Would it have killed me to just stop and help?"

People have helped me - once in a genuine emergency and other times when I was in a pickle or when I was just panicking like we all do from time to time. I've paid it forward with other people. That's all we can do. It's nice feeling. Certainly nicer than posting on Mumsnet about how your neighbours hate you.

If you don't agree with helping people that's fine. But don't tell me that it's me that has the superior attitude.

More looking at the thread as a whole. But yes, I apologise, a couple of people have said things somewhat to that effect. But the vast majority of people who have said they don't answer the door have not suggested others shouldn't either.

Meanwhile, the majority of comments saying they do always open the door, have suggested that others should too.

I often don't bother to answer my front door unless I'm expecting someone, because it's usually someone trying to sell something or a delivery driver wanting me to take in a parcel for a neughbour.

Nothing to do with being scared, I just can't be arsed, especialliy if I'm in the middle of something.

It was many years ago, so no we didn't have smoke alarms. But even if we had, the fire was on the roof, so not sure how long it might have taken for the smoke to reach and set off a smoke alarm inside the house.

I’ve seen so many of these threads on MN over the years, and there’s always one very obvious question no one can ever answer - what do these people in peril do if their neighbours are out? Not refusing to answer the door for any reason, but just plain old out? It does happen, even post-Covid.

If your child had injured themselves and you needed a neighbour to call an ambulance, what would you do if there was no one home at the first house you knocked at? Would you just tell your child “Oh well sweetheart - you’ll just have to bleed to death”? Or would you knock st another door, and another, then another? I know I’d try everything - and if one neighbour doesn’t answer the door, surely it doesn’t matter why they haven’t? You just try elsewhere.

Also, does no one ever change their behaviour in an emergency? If no one answers when you knock and you’re just trying to get volunteers for a bring and buy, you’d probably assume no one was home and then try again later. If your child’s limb was hanging off, you just might shout through the letterbox, or try other houses. Yet if you believe the responses here, people would just walk away with their nose in the air and a haughty expression on their face, saying “Well, they’re rude. What about commuuuuuuuuunity?”

Well yes, even if I had answered the door I wouldn't have invited a strange man in and allowed him to take photos Nor would I want a film crew traipsing through my home.

Bizarre that you think those who'd behave (reasonably) different to you in that scenario are the weird ones.

I can't imagine ignoring urgent banging and not even mildly wondering who it might be, not even to just look out from a window to check.

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