Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

@Wexone I did census collecting in 2011, before it could be done online in the UK. It was a mixed experience. One of the ways I did persuade reluctant people to fill it in was by pointing out that the data is used to provide essential services. But if you don't open your door, I guess you don't need those services so much.

It's a long thread but somebody did say something along the lines of "but nobody should let anything, even the call of nature, get in the way of answering their neighbours".

If that's the bit I'm thinking of, there was some sarcasm involved. It was more along the lines of 'OK, I might be using the loo, but I'm quite an efficient shitter, so it's unlikely. Ergo, don't let the call of nature stand in the way'.

I'm fairly sure nobody's said they would leap out of bed mid bonk in case the frantic knocker, of another variety, was telling them the roof was on fire, but I could be wrong.

@WisherWood
I'm fairly sure nobody's said they would leap out of bed mid bonk in case the frantic knocker, of another variety, was telling them the roof was on fire, but I could be wrong.

Now I'm wondering about another point of MN law... When you leap up mid-bonk, do you Zoflora before opening the door or after? 😱

@WisherWood i did that actually, people were very surprised at how much the information was used. I also expressly said it is very important information that is needed regardless of who our government is. One of my houses was a history teacher and he was using it in his class and looking at information from the census 100 years ago. Another told me they were actually teaching it in the infants class too.They had a time capsule thing at the end of ours, and people would show me what they wrote, it was heart warming the details they went into. We were told afterwards the most common thing wrote though was "had Mayo won the All Ireland yet ?😅It was a big eye opener process for me, exhausting too, met some lovely people both Irish and Foreign but also some rude people too ( Mostly if not all Irish am ashamed to say ) But i wont do it again

Thanks@limitedperiodonly . It did not occur to me that anyone would take your facetious comment seriously. I don’t see any serious examples of the type I was asking about but I am only speed reading.

Your door, your choice if answer it, neighbours a knob!

Me too @takealettermsjones but some people are not as conscientious as us.

A few months ago I left home to do some grocery shopping and saw a harried-looking woman knocking on the door of my neighbours. I asked her if I could help because I'm reckless like that and she explained she was from the council's electoral registration department following up on people who had not returned their forms either online or using the prepaid envelopes.

She didn't need to tell me, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you either that this was a legal obligation punishable by a fine at the discretion of the council. I didn't grass up Tim and Fleur next door and as Australian citizens I wasn't sure they were eligible to vote in UK elections anyway. Maybe local ones, but I digress. As a professional the woman didn't ask me about them or demand to see my papers.

She did say that the job was driving her mad particularly my street because there were a whole load of houses on her list she couldn't find. I said from time to time other people had come looking for the ghost houses. The answer was that,my side of the street started at 20 and the other side started at 19 because the lower numbers were demolished and lots of people killed by a great big bomb during the Second World . The council built an estate in the Sixties which had different numbers.

I said my neighbour told me the story, not Tim and Fleur, but Joan on the other side who was a child in the war and was now living near her son and daughter-in-law in Essex.

The woman said those poor people and asked if Joan had known any of them. I said she must have done. I said I'd lost touch with Joan but she might still be alive though she'd be in her 80s now.

The woman thanked me for clearing up the mystery and said she'd cross those numbers off her list and amend the council's record so no one else was sent out on a wild goose chase ever again.

It's amazing the things that happen when you're prepared to talk to strangers.

I don't answer if I think it's a cold caller. If I'm not expecting, I look out a window surreptitiously. Your neighbour is BU. How were you to know.?!

I remember this turn of phrase from my childhood in the East Midlands. It's not 'bizarre'.
Not sure how much shock they were in seeing as it was a minor injury.

Leaving aside the vexed question of 'to answer or not to answer', I think they're being OTT in making a tag team of husband and wife to come and take turns telling the OP that she should have answered. Especially when they know she doesn't answer that door and usually use the side door.

Up to you if you open the door, it’s your house 🤷🏻‍♀️
you could of been having a nap, a bath etc
it’s irrelevant why you didn’t.
as adults we have a choice in our own homes to answer the door or not.
I rarely answer the door, I have lots of Amazon deliverers during the week and nearly always presume it’s a delivery. I also run a childcare business from home and think my main priority is the children.
Maybe they are just shocked from the sons injury and finding it hard.

@limitedperiodonly you risk assessed, took a view in your street, in day light and decided to speak to a total stranger......

It's almost like you're able to take a sensible view!

Imagine!

She didn’t say repeated banging - she said ‘someone banged on the door a few times’. I took that to mean bang bang bang, and that was it, not doing it over and over. Could be wrong though. I think maybe invest in a spyhole or similar if you’re nervous about answering a knock that you’re not expecting, because as you’ve learned, ignoring isn’t the wisest course of action. Think neighbours are a bit OTT though.

Why get lots of Amazon deliveries when running a child care business? Is it safe to answer those knocks on the door and not other ones?

No I don’t answer the door at all when I’m working
sorry not clear in my post

This. If she gets on well with neighbours then presumably they’re aware that she doesn’t answer the front door so why didn’t they use the side ? OP, take note and consult your crystal ball next time please !!

I’m in the YANBU camp - I mean, sure, I also think you’re weird for not answering your door, and your parents for that matter, but it’s your home so you have the right to ignore whatever is happening outside it. Your neighbours are being a bit unreasonable.

But yeah…I will stop mid-pee and run down the stairs pulling my trousers up, yelling, “COMING!!!”, frantically in order to answer mine in case it’s a parcel or appointment I’ve forgotten, or an emergency, or just one of the neighbours leaving me some of their extra apples/veggies/baked goods like most of us do round here. I can’t think of any situation bar being mid-shag that I wouldn’t drop everything to answer a knock at the door. And even, then, wondering who it is would REALLY put me off my stride 😆

Let’s hope you never need them . It’s not your fault obviously but you sound weird for not opening the door , specially if people knocked several times .

I ignore the door if one of two of my neighbours is knocking, they are always doing so to complain about where I perfectly legally and safely park my car because it means their guests have to walk for two minutes instead of parking outside of my house so that they need only walk for 10 seconds. Their own fault if they have an emergency and I don't answer imo.

If she gets on well with neighbours then presumably they’re aware that she doesn’t answer the front door so why didn’t they use the side ? OP, take note and consult your crystal ball next time please !!

@Rosscameasdoody as I understood it the issue bothering OP was that after this unfortunate incident she wouldn't get along so well with her neighbours going forward. But you win some, you lose some....

I honestly don't understand what the problem is. So what if you didn't open the door, it's completely your choice. The neighbours could have easily knocked on someone else's door.

I've had people knock on my door while I'm in the toilet, or in the shower. Sometimes I'm just having a laydown, and I don't want to answer the door.

If someone is going to visit, they'll usually ring me, or message they're coming.

So many absurd responses on here. Any intelligent neighbour trying to attract attention in the emergency situation you describe would call out to you by name if there was no response to banging at the door. These neighbours are unreasonable, rude, and frankly thick.

I never answer my front door unless I am expecting someone. Similarly I never answer my home or mobile phone unless I recognise the number. Anyone unknown who phones gets blocked & reported as spam. My door, my phones, my choice.

No, I don't think you are unreasonable. I've ignored people knocking on the door before now when I am not expecting anyone and I am using the bathroom, or it is anti-social hours or I can't be bothered because arthritis can make getting up and getting to the door rather painful. There may be a reasonable explanation why these neighbours didn't call for an ambulance themselves, but it all sounds a bit peculiar.

I have major anxiety and BPD and I never answer my door. I do have a sign next to it saying please shout through the letter box who you are 😂
if it was an emergency or someone I know I’d answer but there’s literally been times before where I’ve hid up stairs with my baby crying because this one person wouldn’t go away and it turned out it was my mum and she forgot her key!

I get why you wouldn’t answer the door!
don’t judge when you don’t know the circumstances

Fair enough, might want to rethink that in case someone is calling you to say one of your nearest and dearest is in an accident!

But hey ho it's your phone and your right to block and report as spam,

I'm glad I answered the door at 2am to the police that told us our son had suffered a potentially catastrophic head injury (turned out fine).

But we're all different.... thank god!

What if you hadn’t been in? What if you were asleep or in the shower? They are CF and can do one. Their problem isn’t your problem and you can do as you please.