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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF and the City

415 replies

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 14:54

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

OP posts:
Want2beme · 27/01/2023 15:21

Thank the lord she contacted you now about it and not the day before arriving.

StubbleAndSqueak · 27/01/2023 15:22

Don't forget to put 'lol' at the start of your message, it makes it more irritating

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 27/01/2023 15:24

“Think you misunderstood, I have only some recommendations, not an invitation to stay. If you’re free one evening I can meet you at my favourite local restaurant while you’re in town.”

IglesiasPiggl · 27/01/2023 15:24

Just say "My place is tiny, I can't accommodate guests sadly but X hotel is usually a good bet. Will you be free for dinner on Y day?"

ICanHideButICantRun · 27/01/2023 15:25

Don't say you're not there - she'll think that's great, she can borrow your place.

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:25

@minou123 this factor is what brought me to MN for an answer... She's a nice girl and always remembers to text me on my birthday, but other than that we have no interaction. I don't think I'd suffer from burning this bridge.

Dripfeed: last time she invited herself, she passively expected me to cook vegan dinners for her (I was not vegan) for 5 nights. I took her out with my friends and she ended up sleeping with my best friend (which I guess is fine, but it felt rude), which resulted in her drunkenly losing her driver's license and requiring a trip to my pharmacy for Plan B the next day when she found her way back to my place. She was driving back to her town so I spent ages on the phone with the local authority about getting her a new license in case she decided to extend her stay...

I was much younger then but now I am a hardass and am amazed that she tried this again after last time.

OP posts:
Wanderingowl · 27/01/2023 15:26

"I think you've sent this to the wrong person? We hadn't talked about you staying with me. "

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:27

@StubbleAndSqueak powerful. You're right.

OP posts:
lemmein · 27/01/2023 15:30

StubbleAndSqueak · 27/01/2023 15:22

Don't forget to put 'lol' at the start of your message, it makes it more irritating

😅 yep!

A strategically placed 'lol' is a massive 'fuck you' - very effective!

BMW6 · 27/01/2023 15:30

Lol I didn't invite you to stay with me! (Nor am I going to)

Here's a list of hotels. My place is not on the list.

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:32

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:25

@minou123 this factor is what brought me to MN for an answer... She's a nice girl and always remembers to text me on my birthday, but other than that we have no interaction. I don't think I'd suffer from burning this bridge.

Dripfeed: last time she invited herself, she passively expected me to cook vegan dinners for her (I was not vegan) for 5 nights. I took her out with my friends and she ended up sleeping with my best friend (which I guess is fine, but it felt rude), which resulted in her drunkenly losing her driver's license and requiring a trip to my pharmacy for Plan B the next day when she found her way back to my place. She was driving back to her town so I spent ages on the phone with the local authority about getting her a new license in case she decided to extend her stay...

I was much younger then but now I am a hardass and am amazed that she tried this again after last time.

Ooo fuck, that is really messy..

If you're not bothered about losing her friendship, maybe something along the lines of:

"Listen, we both know what happened the last time you stayed with me. I'm not puttimg up with that again. .
Here's some hotel recommendations."

BMW6 · 27/01/2023 15:32

And I'd actually end my message with

Now off you Fuck.

WarmSausageTea · 27/01/2023 15:33

We didn’t discuss you staying with me, but even if we had, it’s not possible. My offer of recommendations stands, let me know if you’d like some. Either way, I’m sure you’ll have a great visit.

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:34

Or even

Lol, Fuck no, we both know what happened the last time you stayed with me. I'm not putting up with that again. .
Here's some hotel recommendations."

ladymacbeth · 27/01/2023 15:35

If you go with @theemmadilemma message (as I think you should) make sure you put 'recommendations not accommodations' so they're more similar :D

Excited101 · 27/01/2023 15:38

Lol I’m afraid not! No space here for overnight guests. Would love to see you for a dinner or something though! Do you still need recommendations of places to stay and visit while you’re here?

Notwavingbutsignalling · 27/01/2023 15:38

No can do. Plenty of places to stay in the city though. Once you’re settled, text me for dinner. Will be great to catch up!

SabbatWheel · 27/01/2023 15:40

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:34

Or even

Lol, Fuck no, we both know what happened the last time you stayed with me. I'm not putting up with that again. .
Here's some hotel recommendations."

Gotta be this one 🤣

MaggieFS · 27/01/2023 15:41

Interesting twist with the drip feed...

Does "still ok to stay with you" mean "still ok..."

-again
-after what happened last time
-after our most recent message

Just keep it short and sweet. I think it's fine to say 'sorry' or 'unfortunately' but don't give any more info.

Hi, no sorry, it won't be possible for you to stay with me, but I'm free on xx or xx evenings if you want to meet for dinner.

MagentaRocks · 27/01/2023 15:41

Let's us know what you reply.

MaggieFS · 27/01/2023 15:42

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:34

Or even

Lol, Fuck no, we both know what happened the last time you stayed with me. I'm not putting up with that again. .
Here's some hotel recommendations."

I've posted above what I would say, but this beautifully sums up what I would LOVE you to say

DisforDarkChocolate · 27/01/2023 15:43

Based on her last visit put a link to the nearest pharmacy in the recommendations.

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:44

I'm also fairly certain that she has planned her vacation finances around staying with me for free. My high-paid friends have been shocked at the cost of living here and she is not in that bracket.

Gobsmacking, truly.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:45

@DisforDarkChocolate 😂 savage

OP posts:
lizzielizard · 27/01/2023 15:45

"LOL. I took you seriously for a minute! I've only just recovered from your last visit! 😱😅I haven't room for you anyway but let me know where you're staying and if you want to meet up." Light but no room for misunderstanding.