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Original poster

CF and the City

415 replies

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 14:54

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

OP posts:
Soonenough · 27/01/2023 15:46

I feel for you. I lived in NYC too and the amount of chancers that would contact me was amazing. Often the link would be extremely tenuous, like drinking in the same pub as my cousin , my mother knows your aunt, kind of thing . Tell her to feck off , bye 👋

StubbleAndSqueak · 27/01/2023 15:47

Or you could just play with her for a bit and just text back 'eh?' 😂

GreenTeaTuesdays · 27/01/2023 15:47

The @lizzielizard one is spot on - please use that!

Everyonehasavoice · 27/01/2023 15:47

Just say she never asked if she could stay and unfortunately it isn’t convenient
Re send her the previous info
Arrange to meet up with her not in your home
She has a cheek

donquixotedelamancha · 27/01/2023 15:48

Based on her last visit put a link to the nearest pharmacy in the recommendations.

That. Do that. Or maybe this:

www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=condom+machines&find_loc=New+York%2C+NY

ClinicallyTested · 27/01/2023 15:49

Don't give her a reason why, because it could backfire or she will come up with a way round it.

Just simply say "I'm sorry but it's not possible for you to stop on this occasion"!

That's it. Short and sweet!

NoDairyNoProblem · 27/01/2023 15:50

TheMatriarchy · 27/01/2023 15:21

Id just be breezy about it, I guess she thinks as she stayed with you last time she can again.

" Wires crossed! No space for overnight guests at mine, but I can ask around for good air bnb recommendations for you? "

I couldn’t say wires crossed as they aren’t, the CF has never actually asked!

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:50

Toying with some absurd responses, like "sorry, my uncle's hamster is in town then"

OP posts:
smittenkittennn · 27/01/2023 15:50

@lizzielizard response deffo!!! It's the emojis that slay.

Throwncrumbs · 27/01/2023 15:51

She’s just going to turn up at your door whatever you say imo

HowcanIhelp123 · 27/01/2023 15:51

Does she know your address? If not and you never normally speak you could just ignore her message then reply a month after her visit with 'lol, didn't see this until now. Last time I heard from you you wanted to come stay with me in x and now i hear from you wanting to come stay with me in NYC. Better be careful or ill start thinking you only want me for cheap holidays! 😂'

Canthave2manycats · 27/01/2023 15:51

"That doesn't work for me but here are some recommendations..."

ICanHideButICantRun · 27/01/2023 15:54

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:34

Or even

Lol, Fuck no, we both know what happened the last time you stayed with me. I'm not putting up with that again. .
Here's some hotel recommendations."

Definitely this one.

StubbleAndSqueak · 27/01/2023 15:55

No no @ClinicallyTested
A.@ThePriceOfSugar is not sorry
B.It is possible but she's not invited
C.On this occasion implies that there's wiggle room for another time she visits

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:56

Or pure evil - "here's my friend Matheus' number, I'm sure you can get a night out of him"

😁 Not really. But it would be so thrilling.

OP posts:
Riverlee · 27/01/2023 15:56

I wouldn’t say ‘my place is too small’ or ‘on this occasion’ as that opens up a possibility for her to say ‘ …but I thought your brother stayed last year’ or ‘..I’ll come and stay with you in June then’.

Just be blunt, and say that you are unable to accommodate her and point her towards Booking.com etc.

HallwayDoor · 27/01/2023 15:58

Wow, people really think they’re gracing you with their presence. We live in a tourist hotspot and happy for people to come who used to stay with us when in a shit hole. Unfortunately no one’s tried who isn’t in touch to stay 😂

StubbleAndSqueak · 27/01/2023 16:02

Or even more cutting after 'here's my friend Matheus number' add 'do you remember him?'

Newlifestartingatlast · 27/01/2023 16:02

BubziOwl · 27/01/2023 15:02

"I don't remember discussing you staying over - we must have crossed wires. Sadly I'm not able to have any overnight guests, but I'd love to meet up whilst you're in the city! Let me know when works for you."

No, don’t say something that isn’t true- there were no crossed wires. The OP hasn’t got muddled up as this statement implies.

no apologies, no muddles, just a simple “I cannot host you. I made that clear in my email response when I said I could give you recommendations on where to stay. “

MeridianB · 27/01/2023 16:02

Canthave2manycats · 27/01/2023 15:51

"That doesn't work for me but here are some recommendations..."

I think this is the way to go for this CF. She will wriggle and wriggle with anything more subtle.

Stand by for expectactions of pick up and drop off at the airport, too.

😆@ 'CF and the City'

Fraine · 27/01/2023 16:03

minou123 · 27/01/2023 15:17

Yay a live CF thread, I always see them after it's all over.

Do you want to still be friends with her?
Because that'll determine how rude you can go 😁

Dont put "sorry" or "unfortunately" in because that'll open the door for her begging you or trying to guilt trip you.

I'd change the message to
*I'm confused, I offered recommendations, not accomodation. Did you misread?
I cannot offer to put you up. Happy to offer recommendations per my previous message.

How is that any different to @theemmadilemma 's message? 😁

OP, do let us know her response!

Ourshoddyhouse · 27/01/2023 16:04

"No, that doesn't work for me"

Cocobutt · 27/01/2023 16:04

I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Did you recommend hotels and so it was clear that she wasn’t staying with you?

And what was her response when you sent these?

I would use her response to the hotel suggestions as part of your message.

MyPurpleHeart · 27/01/2023 16:07

Does she know your address? Id not reply and leave her on read. Wait and watch her squirm as the date gets closer and closer

Starlin · 27/01/2023 16:08

I had this when I lived in a similar sort of city. My go-to phrase was: sorry, unable to have visitors at this time. Short. Sweet. Simple..