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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF and the City

415 replies

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 14:54

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

OP posts:
Maireas · 01/02/2023 13:20

Indeed. But all the "sorry, sorry" is unnecessary. Be polite but clear.

SunshineAndFizz · 01/02/2023 17:27

Still no reply OP? Can't wait to hear the CF reply!

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 01/02/2023 18:13

Still no reply! She's been online actively but no dice.

I don't want to labour the point too hard, but I'd be so ashamed and want to cover my ass if it were me. "I'm sorry we weren't on the same page! I'd love to take you for a prosecco" would have really remedied the situation.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 01/02/2023 18:15

Just be glad there's no more conversation and she doesn't have your address.

minou123 · 01/02/2023 18:16

It's very poor form @ThePriceOfSugar

Does she not know there a a whole bunch of mumsnetters waiting for her next installment of Cfery?

weirdoboelady · 01/02/2023 18:49

minou123 · 01/02/2023 18:16

It's very poor form @ThePriceOfSugar

Does she not know there a a whole bunch of mumsnetters waiting for her next installment of Cfery?

Perhaps she knows EXACTLY THIS and that's what has driven her underground!

buffydavis · 01/02/2023 21:31

Not responding is pretty lousy. Thank god she doesn't know your address, or I would be wary she'd show up with a giant suitcase, like the woman linked above and try to style it out. "Nooooo? I thought we were all set?" I hope there is no way she could scrape your address out of anyone, anywhere, anyhow?

minou123 · 01/02/2023 23:12

weirdoboelady · 01/02/2023 18:49

Perhaps she knows EXACTLY THIS and that's what has driven her underground!

Show quote history

Noooooo, underground CF?, what has the world come to?

I live for CF threads cos I've reached that age where I CF no longer bother with me.
I have perfected my resting "fuck off" face.

Mamaneedsadrink · 01/02/2023 23:57

She's probably not responding because she's busy from the huge floods and devastation of that aftermath going on at the moment, the main airport for days as it too was flooded and had to close which created chaos, so she is likely to be sorting out her tickets and insurance etc 😐

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 02/02/2023 02:15

My dear elegant ladies... New Zealand is not a single town, and my friend doesn't even live on the same island as the flooding.

Anyway, wrapping this up. I doubt I'll hear anything. But if I do, I'll return. Thanks for the lols.

OP posts:
buffydavis · 02/02/2023 06:35

My dear elegant ladies...

Grin
MadamLeota · 02/02/2023 07:38

ThePriceOfSugar · 02/02/2023 02:15

My dear elegant ladies... New Zealand is not a single town, and my friend doesn't even live on the same island as the flooding.

Anyway, wrapping this up. I doubt I'll hear anything. But if I do, I'll return. Thanks for the lols.

Wait, it’s not one little town leading to a countryside full of Hobbits?
Well bugger me.
😂

T1Dmama · 02/02/2023 08:59

Either not really a friend then, and can’t be bothered now she can’t use you for free board and lodgings!
OR she’s feeling embarrassed. Think it’s the former though.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 02/02/2023 11:33

I'd be tempted to nudge her @ThePriceOfSugar by way of text to ask whether she can please confirm she has received and understood the message and was she intending to meet up during her stay as your diary gets v busy in advance and if she wants the pleasure of your company for an evening best to pencil in dates

CF for not replying that's sooooo rude in light of her indiscretion

Riverlee · 02/02/2023 22:01

When was she due to arrive?

ButterCrackers · 02/02/2023 22:05

Just say that she never asked to stay and in fact it’s not possible for her to stay. No reason needs to be given. Wish her a great time during her holidays.

Jebboo · 02/02/2023 22:08

Mamaneedsadrink · 01/02/2023 23:57

She's probably not responding because she's busy from the huge floods and devastation of that aftermath going on at the moment, the main airport for days as it too was flooded and had to close which created chaos, so she is likely to be sorting out her tickets and insurance etc 😐

The floods are in Auckland, a small area of the the north of the north island.

NZ is not just one city.

hazeleyednerd · 03/02/2023 00:14

Jebboo · 02/02/2023 22:08

The floods are in Auckland, a small area of the the north of the north island.

NZ is not just one city.

Show quote history

The floods and landslides are in Auckland, Coromandel, Waikato, Northland, Bay of Plenty. The storms are in several other regions. 3 regions (not just Auckland) have declared states of emergency at various points. Several major highways have closed until further notice due to the devastation (not in Auckland) Infrastructure NZ wide is impacted. At least one of which may not be repairable at all.

There are severe weather warnings across both North and South Islands at the moment. To do with rain, storms, and heat. With a week of rain and storms still in the forecast.

Its not just an Auckland thing at all. Not even close.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/02/2023 08:51

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 02/02/2023 11:33

I'd be tempted to nudge her @ThePriceOfSugar by way of text to ask whether she can please confirm she has received and understood the message and was she intending to meet up during her stay as your diary gets v busy in advance and if she wants the pleasure of your company for an evening best to pencil in dates

CF for not replying that's sooooo rude in light of her indiscretion

🤣no you wouldn’t, you just want an update on here!

user1492757084 · 20/02/2023 06:30

She questions ...Is it still okay for me to stay with you? So, you can answer honestly. No, it's not possible to stay with me. Here are some suggestions (offer a couple of Youth Hostels, Hotels and other to suit low and high budget accommodation ideas) Be mindful of whether you want her to be within walking distance of you. Then clearly state whichever dates between the 10th and 17th that are suitable for YOU to get together. Then change the subject onto what you will see/do together. Discuss the lovely catch up activities in detail - to and fro. So, put where she is staying in her basket and discuss the time you will be seeing her.

Original poster
ThePriceOfSugar · 15/03/2023 15:31

Just a boring update - now is about the time my "friend" was going to be in NYC. She read my message (on page 6 of this thread) and never replied nor made contact again 🥲. Crazy how her interest in seeing me was absolutely zero, it was all about the free bed!

OP posts:
ProfessionalWeirdo · 15/03/2023 15:44

Not "boring" at all, OP. Thanks for keeping us in the loop!

Beeinalily · 15/03/2023 15:50

Yes, it's nice to know what happened (or didn't, in this case). But it's a shame, what a user!

Fraine · 15/03/2023 15:51

I love an update! Thanks OP.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 15/03/2023 15:51

Glad to have the update. What a rat bag being cheeky enough to ask for a free bed but then never saying of sorry for the misunderstanding and can't wait to catch up with you in person and then never hear from her again.