Page 9 | Judgy non-parents - what did you have to back down on after you had kids?

ThirtyTwoGoingUnder · 2023-01-10T09:14:08+00:00

Lighthearted thread. I have a DF that loves commenting on how all her friends parent their kids and all the rods they make for their own backs and how she'd do it differently blah blah. She has so much to say about everything. I have 2 DC and whilst she never comments on my parenting I often wonder if she comments about it to her other friends. Anyway DF has just had 1st baby (1 month) and has already backtracked on a few things such as co-sleeping etc. I must admit, I'm looking forward to the toddler years 😂 What did you have to backtrack on after you had kids that you never thought you would? Also tell me your funny stories of judgy friends who had kids and had to eat all their words!

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 11/01/2023 00:02

My kids were never going to have tantrums & lie on the floor in the middle of shopping centres 🤣😂
I've gone from judgement & will you shut that child up to thank fuck it's not mine and sympathetic looks

Lights22 · 11/01/2023 00:03

Dummies (DS2 has one now because he kept getting frustrated my boobs gave him milk EVERY time he sucked. I still hide it if out and about and no pics with it in his mouth 🙈)

Super Nanny discipline (I now happily sit on the shop floor while DD1 has a meltdown and everyone's looking at me like I'm mad)

Sleeping through the night can't be that hard (errrm, DD1 up x8 per night and DS2 currently reduced to x10 per night... Was 17 😱)

I'll still be able to go out in the evening/have a life (hahahaha)

I never thought I'd be cuddling a 4yo to sleep every night

We never even thought about co-sleeping until it happened and helped

I thought bathing with your child was a cute, occasional treat for them, not a nightly requirement

I can't go out in the evenings because both children want me if/when they wake, and who knows when that will be

^ I would 100% judge any of my friends had they said this to me before I'd had children. One of my best friends doesn't even try to hide that she judges me for these, and she has three children... Two are older than mine!

Scroogette · 11/01/2023 00:16

Plastic toys: I realised that while wooden toys look beautiful, they are often impractical and heavy.

leccybill · 11/01/2023 00:18

PeeAche2 · 10/01/2023 10:35

In rough order of appearance:

Epidurals; breastfeeding; baby rolling off the sofa onto the floor; the CBeebies babysitter; taking a crying baby to a restaurant; being late for nursery; being late for school; giving them my phone to shut them up; cooking 3 different meals just to make everyone happy; calling any breaded white meat a “chicken nugget” in an attempt to flog it to my boy (and sometimes insulting the host / chef / waitress in the process); taking all of my children food shopping for no reason; giving them Calpol in response to everything; empty threats; extended arm bands / stabilisers use; leaving them unattended on YouTube; not bothering with parents evening; lying about why we can’t go around the fete; only going to one sports day; chocolate for breakfast; pizza for breakfast; nothing for breakfast; bribing my children; allowing myself to be bribed by my children; wine.

I was going to hypnobirth out 3 children, nourish them from my own breasts, raise them on green beans and steamed fish and family game nights of trivial pursuit. Before waving them off to Cambridge to pursue whatever makes them happy. It’s a shame.

Well I howled at this 😂
Best post on mumsnet ever.

MrsAvocet · 11/01/2023 01:03

There was never going to be a Barbie in our house. Over my dead body.
So I'm not sure quite how DH and I managed to end up secretly building a massive replica of our house for all DD's bloody Barbies to live in for her 5th birthday. 🙄

Mother87 · 11/01/2023 02:18

PeeAche2 · 10/01/2023 10:35

In rough order of appearance:

Epidurals; breastfeeding; baby rolling off the sofa onto the floor; the CBeebies babysitter; taking a crying baby to a restaurant; being late for nursery; being late for school; giving them my phone to shut them up; cooking 3 different meals just to make everyone happy; calling any breaded white meat a “chicken nugget” in an attempt to flog it to my boy (and sometimes insulting the host / chef / waitress in the process); taking all of my children food shopping for no reason; giving them Calpol in response to everything; empty threats; extended arm bands / stabilisers use; leaving them unattended on YouTube; not bothering with parents evening; lying about why we can’t go around the fete; only going to one sports day; chocolate for breakfast; pizza for breakfast; nothing for breakfast; bribing my children; allowing myself to be bribed by my children; wine.

I was going to hypnobirth out 3 children, nourish them from my own breasts, raise them on green beans and steamed fish and family game nights of trivial pursuit. Before waving them off to Cambridge to pursue whatever makes them happy. It’s a shame.

Love it!!

CheesyCrumpet · 11/01/2023 04:46

Imaginary....I wasn't going to have a screamfest birth, oh no! I was going to give birth in a serene manner with DH delicately dabbing my forehead with a cool damp cloth.
Then I would lay with a glistening, smiling face, cradling my newborn while DH professed his undying devotion.
Reality...I screamed the place down, told DH to shove the flannel where the sun doesn't shine and laid like a fat sweaty beached whale with what looked like a half shrivelled balloon in my arms while DH muttered about his crushed hand.
Imaginary...The house would be spotless and baby would be asleep after I sang lullabies, then I would get showered, put some nice clothes on, do my hair and a bit of make up, perfume etc, then me and DH would sit down to a lovely home cooked meal and chat about our day before waking baby for a bath and bottle given by doting dad.
Reality ...house looked like a car crash at Argos, baby screamed lungs inside out, with me often joining in, a shower was a quick swish of soap and water, my hair looked like an exploded haystack, I had long forgotten what make up was, perfume was a liberal spraying of baby sick, the lovely home cooked meal was a findus ready meal and doting dad did give bath and bottle, but only because I was rocking and crying in a corner.
I won't even start on the childhood part 😂

Picklewicklepickle · 11/01/2023 10:17

Thought I would spend all my time lovingly preparing homemade, nutritious meals and baking snacks.

Then I realised you have to feed them EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.

Woahhohoho · 11/01/2023 10:45

Oh bedtime. I imagined I'd set the routine and that was that. Sleep from 7-7. Easy. Surely that's for me to decide right?

My eldest (5) is a night owl like me and no tricks in the world can convince her that it's later than it is, her body clock is spot on. I often give up and let her fall asleep on the sofa rather than lie next to her for hours trying to convince her she's tired after reading eleventy billion books in a soothing tone. She just knows.

My youngest (4) was a fab sleeper until I took the sides of his cot off and he discovered freedom. Now he's as bloody bad as his sister but won't sleep anywhere other than his bed so the sofa trick won't work for him. I'm almost tempted to build him a single bed sized cot with 6' sides. He's averaging 6 books a night.

At least we all read a lot I suppose...

Badgerandfox227 · 11/01/2023 10:47

Using a dummy and bottle feeding!

Original poster

ThirtyTwoGoingUnder · 11/01/2023 21:37

These have kept me so entertained! Saw this post and it really tickled me, very accurate!

Judgy non-parents - what did you have to back down on after you had kids?

OP posts:

LGBirmingham · 12/03/2023 20:09

I was judgemental about people with routines. Thought it was crazy. Well turned out ds would just scream if not asleep with the perfect wake window. Still gets dysregulated now if sleeps and meals don't happen at the right time and hes 2. I now know you can only parent the child you have. Some people had babies who could be really tired and just not make a fuss. Mine was not one of those.