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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift too small and no alternative offered

207 replies

Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:12

DS was given a Christmas gift by my brother’s family that is too small for him. I messaged SIL asking if she had a receipt. She responded no receipt and was bought in cash so no cc statement either. End of message.

They have a younger DS who the gift is the correct size for. In their shoes I would just take the gift back and give DS money/voucher/correct size gift. But they’ve not offered any solution- just said sorry no receipt.

AIBU for thinking this is their mistake and they should sort it, not just dump DS with a gift he can’t use

OP posts:
Keyansier · 26/12/2022 23:14

In their shoes I would just take the gift back and give DS money/voucher/correct size gift.

What was SIL response when you asked this?

WeAreAllLionesses · 26/12/2022 23:14

I'd give it back to her.

Blinki · 26/12/2022 23:15

This reply has been deleted

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DampSquids · 26/12/2022 23:17

Why are you bringing this to your SIL, and not your brother?

Original poster
Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:18

@Keyansier so you think IABU? It’s my job to sort this out by making the suggestion? Not their job to feel responsible for giving their nephew a gift he can’t use and fixing the problem?

OP posts:
pinkpotatoez · 26/12/2022 23:18

Why not ask your brother? Why must responsibilities always land on women?

Judgyjudgy · 26/12/2022 23:20

Just be gracious and give to someone else with a smaller child, why make this such an issue. Is it really worth it??!

Original poster
Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:20

@DampSquids my SIL buys the gifts in the family. Any questions to my brother get directed to her.

OP posts:
MysweetAudrina · 26/12/2022 23:20

It's just a Christmas gift. No big deal. Sometimes gifts are the wrong size, colour, brand, fit, taste etc.. you just pass it on to someone who will get some use from it and move on.

Blinki · 26/12/2022 23:22

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Keyansier · 26/12/2022 23:22

so you think IABU? Yes, kind of.

It’s my job to sort this out by making the suggestion? No, but you're the only one annoyed by it so why wouldn't you?

Not their job to feel responsible for giving their nephew a gift he can’t use and fixing the problem? It's not a "job" - It's texting her the same thing you just took the time out to post on here. You could even copy and paste the text for convenience if you like 😂

@Remaker

Saz12 · 26/12/2022 23:22

They bought a gift that’s not useable / welcome. The same as many many people have done this Christmas. It’s not up to them to “sort it”. Just thank them, leave the tags on and give it to a charity shop.

Bbqchicken · 26/12/2022 23:22

Is it from a regular shop? If so just take it back without the receipt and exchange it.

jtaeapa · 26/12/2022 23:22

Charity shop it and forget it.

LuluBlakey1 · 26/12/2022 23:22

Perhaps it was given to their DS and not wanted so re-gifted to your DS. I'd give it back and just say 'So sorry- too small for DS and I can't swop it for a bigger size but should fit your DS and he might as well make good use of it. Thanks for the thought though- DS really liked it and would have loved to wear it.'

Coffeellama · 26/12/2022 23:23

Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:18

@Keyansier so you think IABU? It’s my job to sort this out by making the suggestion? Not their job to feel responsible for giving their nephew a gift he can’t use and fixing the problem?

It’s nobody’s ‘job’ and nobody’s ‘problem to fix’, it’s an incorrect gift. You are far too irritated by this. Hopefully for all your sakes they just won’t bother giving your son gifts again.

SuperHandss · 26/12/2022 23:24

There must be more to this. It’s such a non issue as a one-off.

Original poster
Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:24

And again for everyone who is going to decide I’m the problem for contacting my SIL. Every single time I ask my brother any question about anything related to kids/family I receive the same answer - I don’t know you’ll have to ask x (his wife). So now I just go straight to the source of info. Often I will text both of them and it is always SIL who responds. He is very busy and important apparently.

OP posts:
Bestcatmum · 26/12/2022 23:26

Well obviousl;y they don't have a receipt because it's probably an unwanted gift they are passing on.

Blinki · 26/12/2022 23:27

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Strawberrysundaeonamonday · 26/12/2022 23:28

If it’s the correct size for their DS and they have no receipts I wonder if it’s something regifted that was originally given to their DS this year? I have a bit of a suspicious mind though!
I would let it go though. I wouldn’t think to ask someone to get a refund on a gift. If it’s unsuitable I just take things to the charity shop.

RunLolaRun102 · 26/12/2022 23:28

If you take it back to the shop they might be able to swap it.

Original poster
Remaker · 26/12/2022 23:28

@SuperHandss my DD always receives thoughtful well-chosen gifts from them. I have lost count of the number of times DS has received a completely useless gift. Like an extension pack for a game he doesn’t own, a game that’s not compatible with his console, or something way too young for him. So yes I suppose there is a back story. But I was just wondering if I am expecting too much. Anyway it seems according to MN I am making a massive fuss by asking for a receipt and then feeling irritated by their response. Lesson learned.

OP posts:
DrunkOnHim · 26/12/2022 23:30

I’d just forget it. Donate whatever it is to a charity shop. If this is a regular thing, stop bothering making effort for her as she doesn’t for you. If it’s a one off, let it go.

TakingControl2023 · 26/12/2022 23:30

I don't get why some posters are giving you arsey comments 🤷🏼‍♀️

I buy gifts for the children in our families that are the right size/something that they would use. I expect other family members to do the same for my own DC - if they don't want to then they should let me know and we'll both stop buying and save some money, instead of some children ending up with useable gifts and some not.

In your position I'd pass it on to your nephew to use on this occasion. If it happens again, I'd broach the subject of stopping exchanging gifts.