Gift too small and no alternative offered

[Remaker]

DS was given a Christmas gift by my brother’s family that is too small for him. I messaged SIL asking if she had a receipt. She responded no receipt and was bought in cash so no cc statement either. End of message.

They have a younger DS who the gift is the correct size for. In their shoes I would just take the gift back and give DS money/voucher/correct size gift. But they’ve not offered any solution- just said sorry no receipt.

AIBU for thinking this is their mistake and they should sort it, not just dump DS with a gift he can’t use

Hmm well if it was me I would have a silent rant at home to my other half about how dim witted it was getting a small sized gift that was unsuitable and then I would give it to someone else. Save it up for a birthday for someone who has a kid that age etc.
It's not worth directing anymore of this at your SIL as it could cause friction and make you look ungracious. I dont disagree that it is not your fault but you have already told SIL and she's not willing to offer a solution so you have to just decide what to do with the gift and let it go.

Is it a place that will offer a gift card without receipt?

@Canthave2manycats i know its seems to attract a certain sort passed midnight
Distant relative buys a garish gift for your kid , you say thanks and move on
Close family should ask if unsure of size or know what age the child is

@quietnightmare but what thought if you buy the wrong size
Here you go 8 year old nephew have this jumped for a 6 year old , shows no though
Here you go nephew here is a lovely jumped ( nephew doesn't like) well that showing thought as you at least got right size , thought they would like it etc

It’s a pretty shitty thing to do to a child, repeatedly gifting him something they know he can’t use.
My sister and I alway check with each other what our DC would like, clothes sizes etc because we love each other’s children and we like giving them gifts they will enjoy and will actually use.
We've had crap gifts from other family members that quietly get donated or passed on to others but never from my sister/mum/MIL because we have a conversation before hand.

I would give it back for them to sort and offer it to their own DS.

For the faff of swapping it etc, it’s only a top so I’d just not demand another and they’ll probs send you another anyway.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s just a top.
And Christmas isn’t really about the gifts.

Well they obviously don't care so I would just give it back to them and tell them it is too small so they can either give to someone else or ditch it. Then it is their problem. If someone gives you something which is unusable it is not a gift. It is a chore getting rid of it.

Goodness me! All this over a gift that’s unsuitable. @Remaker I totally understand that you would want to return it for something in a bigger size and very few shops would refuse that as long as you are exchanging like for like!

Are you annoyed because the outfit is so expensive that you would want the money for it instead?

My DC, who clearly don’t coordinate their gift buying (possibly because my youngest DS simply has to tell me what he’s bought me! This year, on Christmas Eve, he came out if his room when no one was about, to show me my presents and then said “make sure you act surprised when you open them!” Okay, right!) and I received 2 Harry Potter time turners and being idiots (I swear they were swapped at birth by some malicious midwife 😂) they didn’t keep the receipts. And to add to that, they are now in an argument as to which one should come with me (as they used their rewards card when purchasing said items) so I can return one for something else! Because neither want me to “give my gift back, take other DC’s gift back instead” 🙄.

Rather than getting irritated by this I have resigned myself to having two timeturners and I just wonder if that means I can got back in time twice as much! And had a good giggle at how well my children know me!

Be grateful that your DS got a gift and receive it in the spirit that it was given, with love ❤️

Not only after midnight TBH - in general!!!

If you give a child a present, you try to give something that the child will (a) like and (b) fit them. In this situation, barring the fallout which probably isn't worth it, SIL/DB should be told to stick their 'present' up their ass!

Had this with a family member for years - shite gifts that were never suitable or to my DC's taste. Why should anyone be grateful for that?!! In return despite being denied a close relationship with DNs due to sibling's chips on shoulder, I used to gift them with books, sometimes personalised, age appropriate., etc.

Two years ago, one sibling went through an extremely traumatic experience. Other sibling ignored as if it had never happened, didn't even phone or text them. Called this sibling out on their behaviour - was painted as the villain, sibling went LC. Stopped the Christmas present charade. It was a relief after years of presents being hung on the front door early in the morning, or being delivered with poor grace, to Amazon vouchers sent with no details of the recipient, and all cards via Moonpig.

If people can't be arsed, then stop it.

Not fitting.
The horror.

Just suggest that you stop exchanging gifts from now on.

Also, your brother sounds like a self important knob.

Probably the best solution all round. Just stop exchanging gifts!

However @montysma1, do you not care about gifts you give to someone else? Is it too much to expect that the gift given is fit for purpose? If your child was given an outfit for a 5 year old, when they were 7, would you be perfectly fine about it? It shows quite a selfish and self centred personality, to not even be botherer or care about gifts you give.

I always put thought into gifts I give, making sure they are the correct size, as it is annoying when things don’t fit. I don’t think it is wrong, to expect others to afford the same courtesy, when gifting to me or my family.

Perhaps the op should regift the outfit back to her dn next year, when it is too small for him!

@poefaced

what a disgusting way to describe children.

@Remaker

your SIL should make sure she gets the right size.

if it's expensive or you need the item of clothing for DS then you should exchange it at the shop or sell it, but if it's not something you need & not horribly expensive then just pass it on or sell it.

or give it back to SIL 'your Jack is 4, my George is 8, you might as well have this for Jack as it's clearly not going to fit my George is it.'

but it's not worth getting your knickers in a knot over.

sorry to hear about your Mum 💐. I have a similar relationship with my (D)B & SIL. It's a long story so I won't start on that.

maybe next year just agree to each by your own kids an extra present from 'Aunty & uncle'. They can buy something for DD's birthday if they want to & again each buy for your own boys?!

That is totally different. Maybe from now on your children could talk to each other about their gift for you. My three do.

@JoanOfAllTrades how do you know it was given with love ? When they actually bought the wrong age? Your gifts are from kids and they did buy something with thought you just happened to get two of them , that is not the same thing
If your a size 16 and someone buys you an 8 when they can clearly see and know your not an 8 , then there is not thought or gifted with love there

Agree - it's not given with much love if they can't even be bothered to get the size right, or make provision for it to be exchanged if it doesn't fit!

Also all those saying take it back if its say a sports top it could be from many places and you can't take it back without proof , same as some stores now , you have to have receipt

I never contact the giver if a gift is a wrong size, a duplicate, or otherwise needs to be exchanged. Most shops
will work with you around Christmas to work something out. You can generally figure out where an item was
purchased with very little online detective work. Most gifts in my family at least come from the same big stores we all tend to shop from. If it is a gift for a child and a direct exchange is going to be difficult, I just buy the return off the child and give them the cash. I then use whatever store credit I ended up with either for groceries or toiletries if it’s that kind of store or perhaps to eventually buy someone else a gift if that is more appropriate.

Donate it to a charity shop and know that this item is supporting a good cause

Give it to your nephew for his birthday.

So do you think your DS is receiving things their DS could have been gifted but doesn't want?

@BadNomad Brilliant!

This. YABVU.

Re-gift it to their son for his next birthday and give your son the cash equivelant of what you would have spent on nephews birthday present.

They are my children, but they are also adults! As per my original post that you quoted, the reason they don’t speak to each other about gifts is outlined!