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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset over Christmas present?

212 replies

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:28

I know they say it’s the thought that counts, but I seriously felt there was no thought or much effort into my Christmas present from my bf.

I gave him a list of things to choose from that I would like and he got one item from the list which was a pair of earrings that he ordered last minute from Amazon 😒 and I also know they didn’t cost more then £40.

I got him loads for Christmas and put so much effort into it. Am I wrong to feel disappointed?

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 26/12/2022 17:31

Well the thought would indeed count if he had put thought in… but seriously he sounds like lots of blokes. Talk to him about it, or lower your expectations?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 26/12/2022 17:31

Did you expect multiple gifts/the whole list? Is his disposable income similar to yours? Did he have more people to buy gifts for?
A £40 pair of earrings is still a lovely gift, i got a large scented candle from my other half even though i gave him a £65 gift, but i'm happy with it as i love candles and i have higher income plus he has a child to buy for.

Lenald · 26/12/2022 17:32

He’s a dickhead.

Coffeellama · 26/12/2022 17:33

Did you buy him everything from his list? Is it your first Christmas together?

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 17:33

That's a lovely gift

You gave him a list.... he got something from it!

Hairday · 26/12/2022 17:34

You gave him a list to choose from and he chose from the list. If you didn't want those earrings, you shouldn't have put them on there!

BlackKittyMama · 26/12/2022 17:34

is £40 not enough for a gift? I think that’s a fair bit. And it was something from your list. I don’t really get the problem

Original poster
CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:35

He earns more than me and we buy for both families and the DC from our joint account. No I didn’t expect the whole list hence me saying ‘a list to choose from’

OP posts:
Frazzledmummy123 · 26/12/2022 17:35

I don't think a £40 pair of earrings that you specified you wanted is that bad.

SouperNoodle · 26/12/2022 17:36

Maybe next year, give him a list and say "we'll both spend (insert amount) on each other so get whatever on the list that'll add up to that"

Lenald · 26/12/2022 17:36

I think the fact it’s last minute from Amazon is what’s shit. No thought in it at all and just the easiest thing for him to get.

girlmom21 · 26/12/2022 17:37

How long have you been together? Did you agree on expectations?

Original poster
CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:38

@Lenald thats my issue. It felt like no thought in it whatsoever, more like a….yeah they’ll do!

OP posts:
Coffeellama · 26/12/2022 17:38

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:35

He earns more than me and we buy for both families and the DC from our joint account. No I didn’t expect the whole list hence me saying ‘a list to choose from’

So you wanted him to choose something from the list, and he did… but you are annoyed it was from Amazon and not more expensive even though it’s you who asked for it? I don’t think he did anything wrong, but next year it’d probably be good to set an amount to spend on each other to try and manage your expectations. You might enjoy going choosing lovely presents, but plenty of people hate it!

Bestcatmum · 26/12/2022 17:39

I didn't even get that in 20 years of marriage.

thelobsterquadrille · 26/12/2022 17:39

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:35

He earns more than me and we buy for both families and the DC from our joint account. No I didn’t expect the whole list hence me saying ‘a list to choose from’

And he chose something!

A £40 pair of earrings is a lovely gift.

Original poster
CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:39

It’s our second Christmas together. Last year we spent £200 in each other and this year I spent nearly the same as we didn’t really talk about it. I know for next year that’ll spend no more then £50.

OP posts:
Pineappleskies · 26/12/2022 17:40

This reply has been deleted

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Aprilx · 26/12/2022 17:41

I don’t know how you expect him to be thoughtful when you handed him a list to buy from, no room for any thought of his own there.

He chose something off the list, exactly what you told him to do.

NinjaWarriorCooker · 26/12/2022 17:42

So what matters when he ordered them? They arrived on time, so what difference does it make.

stop finding fault at nothing.

Cornettoninja · 26/12/2022 17:42

Lenald · 26/12/2022 17:36

I think the fact it’s last minute from Amazon is what’s shit. No thought in it at all and just the easiest thing for him to get.

I agree but then he did stick to the list which doesn’t exactly invite someone to use their initiative. If someone gave me a list I would presume they’d be happy with a gift off it 🤷‍♀️

The multiple presents is a mismatch of expectations but one present at Christmas off a partner is pretty normal.

Original poster
CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:42

@Pineappleskies oh didums….someone is sulking cause they didn’t get anything for Christmas. Pick your bottom lip up and off you trot 🙄

OP posts:
Jacksfesteringresentment · 26/12/2022 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You sound like a total melt.
Shes not being self absorbed, she's upset that her partner put no effort into getting her a gift when she put effort into his.

Do you feel personally attacked by these posts? Are you shit at buying presents, is that why you reached so hard with your reply?

girlmom21 · 26/12/2022 17:45

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:39

It’s our second Christmas together. Last year we spent £200 in each other and this year I spent nearly the same as we didn’t really talk about it. I know for next year that’ll spend no more then £50.

What did he do for your birthday? Has he mentioned anything about the fact you've obviously made much more effort than him?

NinjaWarriorCooker · 26/12/2022 17:46

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:42

@Pineappleskies oh didums….someone is sulking cause they didn’t get anything for Christmas. Pick your bottom lip up and off you trot 🙄

Isn’t that you Op? And he ordered them at the wrong time? Such micro management! I’m