Page 5 | To be upset over Christmas present?

CrazyCatLady00 · 2022-12-26T17:28:17+00:00

I know they say it’s the thought that counts, but I seriously felt there was no thought or much effort into my Christmas present from my bf. I gave him a list of things to choose from that I would like and he got one item from the list which was a pair of earrings that he ordered last minute from Amazon 😒 and I also know they didn’t cost more then £40. I got him loads for Christmas and put so much effort into it. Am I wrong to feel disappointed?

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 19:34

ZestFest · 26/12/2022 18:42

I feel for you OP. My understanding would be that the list was there for one or two ideas and then there'd be thoughtful surprises as well

Blimey, how many do you think an adult needs? 'Thoughtful surprises'??

Op is a grown woman not a 6 year old!

Kentlassie · 26/12/2022 19:36

I suggested 2 things to DH. I got neither. I did get a black coat and already have an almost identical one, along with lots of things from the local shops that he got a few days before. I ordered and shopped in plenty of time so he got things he wanted/ will use.

roarfeckingroarr · 26/12/2022 19:37

Yeah it's a bit crap.

poefaced · 26/12/2022 19:38

Whose birthday is next, hai or you’re?

If it’s his, make sure you don’t spend
more than £40.

poefaced · 26/12/2022 19:38

*his or yours

Original poster

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 19:41

@poefaced its my birthday next, so will see.

OP posts:

roarfeckingroarr · 26/12/2022 19:42

There's a lot of po faced judgment on here.

What's wrong with adults receiving - or worse, wanting - more than one last minute cheap gift?

I can understand your disappointment OP. £40 earrings off Amazon, bought last minute... doesn't make you feel treasured.

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 19:45

roarfeckingroarr · 26/12/2022 19:42

There's a lot of po faced judgment on here.

What's wrong with adults receiving - or worse, wanting - more than one last minute cheap gift?

I can understand your disappointment OP. £40 earrings off Amazon, bought last minute... doesn't make you feel treasured.

Did you miss the bit where OP put the £40 earrings from Amazon on her desired gift suggestions list?

How far in advance do you need to buy earrings to make them more special?

HotChoxs · 26/12/2022 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yeah the magic of xmas. Everything comes down to the thought put into a present. Never mind the other 363 days of the year.

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 19:51

Po faced my arse!

Grown adults expecting so much is ridiculous! As is the op moaning she got something off her list

BellePeppa · 26/12/2022 19:52

I’d prefer that to the one I got from a (now ex) some years back. It was a bottle of perfume that I’ve never mentioned wanting (not big on perfume). Something just seemed really off with the present, like no thought was put into it and it was the only present he gave me. I found out a few days later he’d won it in a pub raffle. That was it, my present was a raffle win! I wasn’t impressed! At least yours was on a wanted list.

HotChoxs · 26/12/2022 19:52

EllesB · 26/12/2022 19:12

You’ve nailed it. It’s really strange how users will come pouring out of the woodwork to berate the OP as ungrateful and crow about how little they’re satisfied with. As if it’s a competition to have the least or the lowest standards. Just why?

The disingenuous posters banging on about “you gave a list and he chose from it, what’s your problem??” while ignoring the details about what was done last year and the last-minute thoughtlessness of it are a close second though.

Show quote history

You seem to think those of us that are questioning it have 'low standards'.

Perhaps some of us think the quality of an xmas gift you receive defining the quality of your relationship is actually a low standard.

twinmum2022 · 26/12/2022 19:53

OP literally gave him a list of stuff she wants... so I don't understand why she's now dissatisfied with the level of thought??? Because she didn't expect any?? Hence the list no?

Is the issue you didn't get enough off your list OP?

RJnomore1 · 26/12/2022 19:54

hattie43 · 26/12/2022 18:46

Totally agree.
Some women have on here set the bar so low they are happy with any old crap and minimal effort .. £40 earrings on their own does not make for an exciting Christmas morning and for a bloke to drop from £200 of gifts to £40 in a year makes me wonder why , on that trajectory next year OP will get nothing .

Show quote history

Thing is

theres thread after thread about men not doing housework, not looking after children, letting women run after them, not helping their partners when they are ill.

And yet people can’t see this is all part of the same pattern of I matter more than you behaviour.

The value isn’t important except in that the boyfriend had a reciprocal arrangement last year, and this year unilaterally decided not to bother but didn’t tell op that. It was fine for her to scurry round finding things and spend money but he was too busy and important to and couldn’t even tell her he moved the goalposts. It’s nothing like the situations where people mutually agreed not to spend because they are going on holiday or whatever. If you both agree you aren’t doing gifts fine, not for me but you do you.

TBH I wouldn’t entertain an intimate relationship with a man who couldn’t think what I might like as a gift himself anyway, having to write a list would be the end as well.

roarfeckingroarr · 26/12/2022 19:55

@Aprilx not my circus... but it's a bit cheap to just get the one thing?

HotChoxs · 26/12/2022 19:55

Burgoo · 26/12/2022 18:10

If he is like me then he simply doesn't buy into the Christmas nonsense and finds buying extremely stressful and tedious.

Exactly, and the OP proves why it's ridiculous.

butterfliedtwo · 26/12/2022 19:57

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:42

@Pineappleskies oh didums….someone is sulking cause they didn’t get anything for Christmas. Pick your bottom lip up and off you trot 🙄

What the fuck?

WickedWangoCard · 26/12/2022 19:58

YABU for giving him a list in the first place, and for expecting him to buy you everything on the list, and for whinging when you only get one thing off it.

You come across as very entitled, I'm afraid.

Nocutenamesleft · 26/12/2022 19:59

CrazyCatLady00 · 26/12/2022 17:35

He earns more than me and we buy for both families and the DC from our joint account. No I didn’t expect the whole list hence me saying ‘a list to choose from’

Wait

so what did he do wrong that made you disappointed!!?

HotChoxs · 26/12/2022 20:00

RJnomore1 · 26/12/2022 19:54

Thing is

theres thread after thread about men not doing housework, not looking after children, letting women run after them, not helping their partners when they are ill.

And yet people can’t see this is all part of the same pattern of I matter more than you behaviour.

The value isn’t important except in that the boyfriend had a reciprocal arrangement last year, and this year unilaterally decided not to bother but didn’t tell op that. It was fine for her to scurry round finding things and spend money but he was too busy and important to and couldn’t even tell her he moved the goalposts. It’s nothing like the situations where people mutually agreed not to spend because they are going on holiday or whatever. If you both agree you aren’t doing gifts fine, not for me but you do you.

TBH I wouldn’t entertain an intimate relationship with a man who couldn’t think what I might like as a gift himself anyway, having to write a list would be the end as well.

Show quote history

I have no idea what I would like as a gift as I've got too much stuff anyway. I don't really like gifts, or people putting effort into them, it's a waste of time for me.

I'd rather they didn't stress themselves out over it, that's my gift.

But you're right there is a mismatch in the relationship, one is going all out to prove how much they love the other with a lot of effort, and the other is simply doing what the other asked the to do. Personally I'd prefer the latter to be my partner as the former just sounds needy and difficult.

LadyLapsang · 26/12/2022 20:02

DH is notoriously rubbish at gifts especially Christmas gifts. Highlights have been him coming back into the room when his DM was opening her gifts from us (bought, paid for, wrapped by me) and saying, wow, who bought you that. MIL, “You, apparently.” Buying me a huge box set I wanted, to find I was billed for it as he had logged onto my Amazon Prime account. Having said that he pays most of the bills. This Christmas I have bought myself some beautiful earrings and other things in the sale. He could have bought them last week for double the price.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/12/2022 20:03

no thought in it whatsoever

You gave him The List.

The List. How old are you? 12?

He probably thought that if he deviated from The List he would be in wrong. So he bought something from The List.

And now he is still in the wrong.

Poor bloke!

Grow up and try saying thank you.

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 20:07

Was this an Amazon gift list? Where you list everything you like and he chose an item?

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 20:07

So you really wanted EVERYTHING on the list....

MyEasterEggs · 26/12/2022 20:09

My OH left it until the last minute to order a gift for me from Argos from my daughter, only it was shut when he turned up so I had sweet FA to open. His gift to me is a “spa experience” apparently and he spent Christmas Day asking me to book a massage (spa 😆) so he could ease his conscience. 17 years and it’s always the same. Hurts a little as I put a lot of effort in, sorting his family’s gifts too, but in other ways he’s a good man so I don’t let it get to me too much. Sometimes it’s best to lower your expectations OR make as little effort!