To stop 9 year old eating all the time

[Pineapplestropical]

9 year old dd is overweight. She eats far too much and exercises too little. Started putting on weight in year 2 now in year 5 and kids have started to call her fat at school. Bloods been done all normal. No medical issue to explain why she should be eating too much. Constantly grazing and looking for meals. Yesterday example;

9am 2 scrambled eggs and 1 toast
1130 am Small bowl of rice
Orange
4pm Another small bowl of rice
6pm A small bowl of pasta bake
French francie
7pm; 2 thin slices of rolypoly cake.
9pm; a grilled cheese sandwich.

I know i shouldn't have the junk available. I do have 3 other kids all healthy. Find it a bit unfair that none of us can have treats Coz of her but maybe that's a sacrifice we have to make. She hates exercise, will do less than 2 minutes then sit down.

We did a timetable yesterday to say we need to stick to these times for eating (3 times with 2 snacks) she agreed and was happy with healthy ideas. Fast forward to today and she's gone downstairs by herself to make a grilled cheese sandwich again. She's definitely not hungry as had a good dinner of chicken soup and garlic bread. Im Losing it with her and have said you are getting overweight , you need to get healthier, im worried about ur health. Feel bad about this but i just can't stop her eating or get significant exercise out of her. She helps herself to food if i say no and im with the other kids. AIBU for pointing out she is overweight?

Why is she allowed to make herself sandwiches?

I wouldn't let my 9 year old do that at any time of the day but especially at night.

Depending on how thick she slices the cheese, she could be eating and additional 500 calories plus just before bed.

The key op is getting her active… in my experience exercise is more important than what you eat. The kids at school will make her life hell regardless of what you say.

I did some nutritionist training.

Please see below advice if you’d like it.
Is Dd vegetarian as no protein here and this is filling. There are too many carbs here which are fattening.
Does she drink enough water?

9am 2 scrambled eggs and 1 toast.
Would she eat some grilled or even tinned tomatoes with this or even beans which are filling?

1130 am Small bowl of rice - cut out the rice.
A banana and an apple (you could add a low fat sugar free yogurt here too)

Orange

Where is her lunch?

4pm Another small bowl of rice - cut out the rice. If she cannot wait until dinner, a rice cake and some light Philadelphia should be enough to last 2 hours.

6pm A small bowl of pasta bake (does this contain veg or just pasta, sauce and cheese)?
Add salad

French francie

7pm; 2 thin slices of rolypoly cake. - 3 cakes is unnecessary.

One French fancy should be adequate

9pm; a grilled cheese sandwich. She’s eating too late which is not good for her digestion and contributing to weight gain.
With a healthier evening meal and proper lunch, she should not need a 9pm carb laden snack.

Bbc good food have some great healthy family recipes

Op, instead give her:

2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices toast. An apple if still hungry. Water to drink. If she's starving you could add half a tin of beans.

Lunch needs to be protein and fat heavy :homemade lentil and veg soup with a ham and cheese sandwich.

Dinner : jacket potato with chicken curry/chilli.

Two biscuits /small bag crisps/ a fruit juice as a treat. One per day.

I think my 6 year old eats twice what you said. And in between meals eats fruit. But shows how every child is different if they're becoming overweight on that

I don't think she's eating nearly enough during the day. Between 9am and 6pm she had two small bowls of rice. Wtf?

Soup and bread for dinner is not a filling meal.

Two servings of cake.

She's hungry when she has a grilled cheese because she hasn't had anything substantial.

Don't tell her she's getting fat. Don't make her go on boring walks in the cold because she's fat. Feed her proper filling foods and take her to fun places to exercise. Like softplay and trampoline parks, the park with roller blades, ice skating.

It doesn't sound like a varied diet. Why so many carbs?

There's lots of healthy examples online.
Have fruit, vege, yoghurt or cheese as snacks.
Breakfast: porridge, weetabix, toast, eggs, or pancakes etc
Lunch and dinner: main meal of protein, then veges and fruit as sides. Pasta and rice are fine too, try wholegrain not white.
You can find plenty of meals online that can be made in bulk, like egg muffins, oat muffins etc as well.
Just a well balanced healthy meal then for exercise something fun as PP have suggested.

Well she eats a decent breakfast...

And from there on in its carbs and sugar, carbs and sugar all day long. Tiny bit of protein in the cheese toastie...

Whilst kids should indeed have some of both carbs and sugar, it is no wonder she feels hungry and is eating all day on that.. her blood sugar will be spiking and crashing all day long.

Replace rice and orange juice with water/no sugar squash, and cubes of cheese, cottage cheese and veggie sticks, cooked chicken bits.. that sort of thing.

Offer whole fruit for snacking, and veg (as whilst the fruit does contain sugar, eating an apple takes a lot more effort and makes you feel fuller than eating a slice of cake!)

YABU - not for wanting her to eat less, but for making unhealthy foods so accessible in the first place.

At that age DD was offered three main meals and a couple of snacks, all offered/prepared by us. Only thing that she could help herself to was fruit

Forgot to say, if she likes rice, could it be egg fried rice maybe with a few peas mixed in, so it's more nutritious.

Well, it's a snapshot of one day and OP has clarified that the bowl of rice was actually chicken, chickpeas and rice. So I won't jump to the same conclusions as others about her overall diet.

However, agree with others. More protein, less carbs, more activity and water. Weight loss will be gradual as she's still growing and emphasis should be on fun, health and fitness.

If she's raiding the kitchen at random times is she actually just bored?

I think the key thing is your children are all different individuals metabolically and they all process different foods differently. Just because the others can eat the same things without weight gain isn't the point. Exercise is a tough one but find what motivates her if she's bored after less than two minutes of exercise then it's not motivating her. Exercise with her walk, get dvds you can both have fun working out with. Certainly just carbs won't be helping so with that knowledge you can now look into foods that will keep her full longer. There's no reason you can't all have treats but look at the types of treats. High sugar treats with a high carb low protein diet is not going to be keeping her feeling full.

There's lots of useful tips on the thread if you scan through, just take the helpful advice and build on that. My biggest tip, and the largest eye opener where we can sometimes go wrong with diet is to start reading food labels. Once you realise how much unsaturated fat there is in some of your favourite foods you start to think differently about what you are eating and how much is not useful nutrition. The biggest thing you you can do to help motivate her to want to exercise and eat well is not just do it with her but more comments about weight. It's emotionally damaging enough that her friends comment on it without coming home to it. Take the lead and show her how to eat well.

At 9 years old we weren't just helping ourselves to rubbish if we were told no and my family had terrible diets growing up. She her what she can have rather than just letting her stuff herself with fat and sugar at night time when she isn't going to burn it off, so think about the times she eats junk as well. Get yourself some cookery books from a charity shop and learn to cook wholesome meals she will enjoy and want to eat, you can also make wholesome deserts that are filling cheaply too. You'll probably find most of this is easily resolved if you apply yourself to the problem and make yourself an active part of the solution.

I think your focus has been on the symptom rather than the cause. Yes you're a busy mum, but this is about small changes. Theres a lot you can self learn about the basics of nutrition. Soup would usually be a starter to a meal but on its own with carbs, fat and sugar either side is not going to be a good meal keeping anyone full, and remember just because your others would be full on that is not a guide to use because they will all process it differently.

Imv no sport or exercise is enjoyable unless you are fit.
Start with fast walking for 10 mins, 15 mins, 20 mins build it up to an hour. I imagine you'll have to do it with her - or another family member.

Our dc had to ask for everything except fruit too.

Why is a 9 year old child getting up and preparing food for themself at 9pm at night? This would just be a flat out no to me.

I think you've had a lot of advice already. Clearly she needs proper balanced meals not just snacks. Do you prepare her meals or does she just help herself all the time?

Here is what my 9 year old ate yesterday. Definitely not perfect but my child is ideal weight:

Breakfast: Porridge with jam & glass milk & soft boiled egg
Lunch: scrambled egg. Piece of fruit. Small choc bar/penguin type thing.
Dinner: steak pie, mash, peas. Yoghurt.
Evening snack: mini cheddars & grapes & mini packet haribo.

Weird, unbalanced menu of food. If you really are concerned about this child then you need to put your money where your mouth is. 3 balanced plates a day with vegetables and fruit playing a major role. No junk food, cakes etc except maybe once a week. Eat together as a family, with all eating the same, at the same time, no snacking between meals except fruit or vegetables.

Her diet is so incredibly carb heavy. Give her more protein based meals and then maybe fruit or veggie sticks and hummus if she's still hungry. Carbs fill you up quickly but then you crash into hunger just as quickly, concentrate on higher protein meals and whole grain complex carbs which will fill her up more and take longer to digest. At 9 she's too young herself to understand and do much about her diet, it all needs to come from you.

I can’t believe the lack of comment about exercise - do you leave your DCs to lounge about or not if they want.
Two minutes exercise before stopping is unbelievable. She would I’m sure enjoy something -dance, football, running, cycling but not if she gets tired after 2minutes. Perhaps get her heart checked as that is not good.

Seriously, that’s more carbs in one day than I’d “load” to run a marathon!! Poor child needs lean protein and fruit and veg. It’s a wonder she isn’t bouncing off the walls.

More protein, more veg, more fruit, less carbs and stick to mealtimes. Absolutely stick to them. And why is a 9 year old taking herself off to make her own food? I think she needs firm boundaries around helping herself and only eating what everyone else is eating and yes she won't like it but as her parent it is up to you what she eats I'm afraid.

As for the exercise - start small. It isn't going to be easy for an overweight child to go from doing nothing to doing a lot. Does she walk to school? Does she have a bike? Keep exercise sessions short to begin with and try to then lengthen them and find something she might actually enjoy, or at least not actually hate.

I wondered when the carb police would come out in force.

Carbs don't make you fat. Overeating makes you fat.

As others have said - what she's eating isn't healthy. Too many carbs (which will spike and then lower her blood sugar, causing her to be hungry again), very little protein and no fruit/veg.

What she needs is healthier, balanced meals, where you can pile on the veg because it will fill her tummy up, provide her with nutrients and vitamins but also won't cause her to gain weight.

Things such as nuts and bananas release energy slowly, preventing hunger between meals.

No one "needs" junk food so you can remove these from the house completely for the time being.

Increased activity is necessary, not only for contributing to a healthy weight but also for healthy joints, development and promoting good habits. If a child has been used to doing regular activity, they will be more likely to continue this into their adult life. I'm forever going for walks with my DP because I was always out on walks with my parents as a child. They weren't optional when I was very young, but as I grew into a teen and had much more freedom, I still chose to go on walks with my parents as I had learnt to really enjoy and appreciate the outdoors, the fresh air and the exercise.

At this age, telling your child she's overweight could contribute to issues with her weight/mental health as she grows older, which could last into adulthood with negative consequences. You need her to have a healthy relationship with food and to understand how to create a balanced diet. However while she is this young, it's solely down to you to ensure she's getting this mix of protein, veg, fruit etc and full meals. She cannot be responsible for her weight or her eating habits at this age, she is too young and needs you as the adult to ensure she gets the food she needs to be healthy.

While you're improving your daughter's diet, it's important to implement and encourage healthy lifestyle behaviours which she will then continue to follow as she gets older.