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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop 9 year old eating all the time

184 replies

Pineapplestropical · 20/12/2022 20:26

9 year old dd is overweight. She eats far too much and exercises too little. Started putting on weight in year 2 now in year 5 and kids have started to call her fat at school. Bloods been done all normal. No medical issue to explain why she should be eating too much. Constantly grazing and looking for meals. Yesterday example;

9am 2 scrambled eggs and 1 toast
1130 am Small bowl of rice
Orange
4pm Another small bowl of rice
6pm A small bowl of pasta bake
French francie
7pm; 2 thin slices of rolypoly cake.
9pm; a grilled cheese sandwich.

I know i shouldn't have the junk available. I do have 3 other kids all healthy. Find it a bit unfair that none of us can have treats Coz of her but maybe that's a sacrifice we have to make. She hates exercise, will do less than 2 minutes then sit down.

We did a timetable yesterday to say we need to stick to these times for eating (3 times with 2 snacks) she agreed and was happy with healthy ideas. Fast forward to today and she's gone downstairs by herself to make a grilled cheese sandwich again. She's definitely not hungry as had a good dinner of chicken soup and garlic bread. Im Losing it with her and have said you are getting overweight , you need to get healthier, im worried about ur health. Feel bad about this but i just can't stop her eating or get significant exercise out of her. She helps herself to food if i say no and im with the other kids. AIBU for pointing out she is overweight?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/12/2022 20:40

not judging the menu but from what you’ve said- does she get bored? Boredom was probably a huge cause of my overeating as a child.

AuntieMarys · 20/12/2022 20:40

Protein and veg. Bowls of rice are a shit option

AffIt · 20/12/2022 20:40

Why is she not eating proper (mostly protein and veg with some carbs) food at proper mealtimes?

The child is NINE - you're the parent, unless there's now going to be some massive dripfeed about SEN / ARFID etc, you prepare the food, she eats it.

ConfusedmumUC · 20/12/2022 20:42

That’s just pure carbs from dawn til dusk. White rice produces huge glucose spikes that when they dip, make you really hungry again it’s just empty calories with no nutrition

ScarlettDarling · 20/12/2022 20:42

Well firstly you need to make healthy stuff available at snack times…not two slices of cake.

Secondly, she needs protein to fill her up.

Thirdly, I’d say proper meals rather than little bowls of rice would be better at filling her up and stopping her wanting junk.

Baublesandtinsel · 20/12/2022 20:42

So your dd Is being call fat by her peers then comes home to you telling her she's overweight, that's is absolutely shocking do you want your dd to have an eating disorder or feel ashamed of how she looks or lack any confidence. No well stop telling her she needs to diet! You are the adult you provide the meals just cook her healthy balanced meals with protein to help fill her up and which should stop her snacking. Suggest going on a walk every day with her turn it into a race make it fun exercise can be done in many ways. Don't tell her she's overweight and at her age she won't even realise you have put her on a diet if you do it the correct way.

Regularsizedrudy · 20/12/2022 20:42

This can’t be real. You are the adult, why aren't you feeding her proper meals? Where is her lunch? No wonder she is hungry. You talk about her like she’s a teenager in charge of cooking her own food.

bridgetreilly · 20/12/2022 20:42

She’s nine, of course she’s not going to self-regulate a healthy diet. You need to be eating three proper meals a day as a family. In between, all snacking has to be handed out by you, not freely available to her.

And similarly, you can’t just tell her to exercise. Go on family walks or bike rides, sign her up for dance classes or football. You have to actually help her.

ClaudiusTheGod · 20/12/2022 20:42

Is this a joke? The poor kid. This is your fault, not hers. Your family are living on crap. Get rid of all that cake. One or two slices a week on Saturday as a treat maybe. She needs a variety of vegetables at lunch and dinner, 3 meals a day and max two small snacks. Final meal no later than 6/6.30pm and nothing before bed. Plus water.

FruHagen · 20/12/2022 20:43

Not balanced, not nutritious. No wonder she is hungry.

I think you will need to learn about healthy cooking and how to balance a child's diet. If she is eating this regularly she is not getting what she needs and is likely overeating because of it.

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 20/12/2022 20:43

Your daughter isn't getting the correct nutrients, and that is why she's hungry. Breakfast is ok, but where's the lunch? She should be having some kind of protein, not just a bowl of rice. A bit of pasta bake for dinner isn't enough. She needs protein again. Give her proper meals with protein and stop with the cakes. Learn to cook. Poor kid.

bridgetreilly · 20/12/2022 20:45

Chicken soup and garlic bread is not a good meal. Where are the vegetables? Where is the protein? I would be starving if that was my dinner. What are the rest of you eating?

booboo82 · 20/12/2022 20:45

This reply has been deleted

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Bonjovispyjamas · 20/12/2022 20:46

Poor kid, great way to set her up for a lifetime of struggling with her weight 🙄

Itisbetter · 20/12/2022 20:47

So scrambled eggs on toast, sounds fine
add fruit/veg as a snack mid morning (hummus and carrots? Apple and peanut butter, cucumber and cream cheese)
lunch protein and veg (minute steak on a roll or on some rice?)
I’m sure you know all this really? Lots of little carby meals aren’t great.

as far as exercise goes, swimming, trampolining, zip wire, bikes, walk to a cafe for a drink….do you exercise every week?

BCBird · 20/12/2022 20:47

Balance it out with three proper meals with few carbs and decent amount of protein. I would allow her to.snack on fruit whenever she likes. I can honestly say from experience that carbs do not fill u up. Can you get her interested in cookin so you can.make some things together?

viques · 20/12/2022 20:48

From your initial post Op I take one really good point. She made herself a grilled cheese sandwich. 🙂So you have a child who is able to cook! I think you could do worse than to encourage this, get her involved with planning meals, helping to cook them, if she has an interest in food then learning about healthy ways to prepare meals is giving her skills for the future as well as helping her to eat more healthily now. Make sure she doesn’t go down the baking cakes and cookies Road, concentrate on main meals.

gamerchick · 20/12/2022 20:49

Far too many carbs and not nearly enough protein. No wonder she's constantly hungry. Poor little bugger.

This can't be real man.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 20/12/2022 20:49

That's an odd day of food. Lunch? Protein? What did you eat?

champagneplanet · 20/12/2022 20:51

That's a lot of carbs, hardly any fruit or veg and not much protein either. I would put on weight with that diet, it's also very bland.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 20/12/2022 20:52

My dd was like this. She was later diagnosed with ASD and it was sensory issues causing it.

Hiwever, we never restricted anything. Everything was freely available. I had to hold my nerve at points because she got quite tubby. It was really hard, but l do not believe in restricting anything. She was also really inactive. No interest in sport or exercise at all.

She’s nearly 17 now. The overeating stopped about 4 years ago. Just stopped in it’s own. She’s 5ft 11 now with a shape to die for. She isn’t really interested in food now. Eats to live rather than vice versa.

Massive turn around. And we did nothing to interfere or restrict. I think any sort of ‘discussion about healthy eating’ or restriction makes it worse. I don’t believe in any of it, it just causes more problems.

Our other dc grew up in the noughties and late 90’s. Unrestricted access to snacks. None of them are interested now. Just like Dd.

Purplechicken207 · 20/12/2022 20:52

Check out glucose goddess and momnutritionist on instagram and online for some easy to follow ideas about meal building

Keepitrealnomists · 20/12/2022 20:56

I am so fucking angry, that poor kid! You feed her rubbish and tell her shes fat. Your going to give her an eating disorder, self esteem issues and a lifetime of misery. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Actupfishy · 20/12/2022 20:57

You’re the problem.
You’re feeding her a shit completely inadequate diet then calling her fat?
Nice, really nice.
My lanky 8 year old girl would be STARVING after eating that.
look on line for nutritional advice on what to feed her.

Original poster
Pineapplestropical · 20/12/2022 20:58

The rice had chickpeas and chicken in it. She was off school yesterday so ate at different times to usual. Usually she will always have meat or chicken or fish with the carbs. My issue is she will always return for more food or bigger portions. My other kids don't hence aren't overweight. Will definitely get rid of junk. Yes it's wrong to call her fat agreed. Anyone actually had an overweight child and been successful at helping them? She swims once a week and trampoline when weather ok. Hoping to take her for brisk walks this holiday.

OP posts: