Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel plans because of the football?

281 replies

XmasConfusion · 05/12/2022 07:16

Dinner with two school mums next Saturday. Been planned for ages. Don't know them very well..

Me and my family are England fans and been watching and following pretty seriously.

AIBU to not go on Saturday as its England v France?

OP posts:
Choconut · 05/12/2022 07:37

I think it's rude as you shouldn't have made plans when you knew the world cup was on if you were so keen on football. No point going and being miserable though.

Blowthemandown · 05/12/2022 07:43

@XmasConfusion why not be honest? We only had the match yesterday so saying today “you know I’m a big footy fan, do you mind if we either reschedule or go somewhere we can watch” and they may either feel the same, or they may at least understand it is a big deal for you. Just ask.

gogohmm · 05/12/2022 07:47

I'd be very unimpressed, just record it and watch when you get home.

It's only sport!

StopFeckingFaffing · 05/12/2022 07:48

Tricky one

Could you suggest lunch instead?

How they respond will likely depend on whether they are also football fans

HappyOnion · 05/12/2022 07:50

Id just say “Just realised our dinner clashes with the football- shall we reschedule?” They’ll probably be pleased you’ve suggested it.

RambamThankyouMam · 05/12/2022 07:50

Mindymomo · 05/12/2022 07:18

Football rules over everything in our house so anything planned is now out.

I'm sorry but that's pathetic.

Shoxfordian · 05/12/2022 07:50

I wouldn’t be impressed if you cancelled but it’s up to you how much you care about football

Doingmybest12 · 05/12/2022 07:51

Can you invite friends to yours for a takeaway and football.do they know you love football and so won't be surprised. I'd be honest and explain the dilemma, they might feel the same.

userxx · 05/12/2022 07:51

@YellowAndGreenToBeSeen I'm not into it, but if someone was a huge football fan then I wouldn't be pissed off, I'd be expecting plans to be cancelled.

DappledThings · 05/12/2022 07:51

HappyOnion · 05/12/2022 07:50

Id just say “Just realised our dinner clashes with the football- shall we reschedule?” They’ll probably be pleased you’ve suggested it.

And if they aren't and would prefer to go ahead as arranged OP will have to accept she is going to miss out and would be U to do any moaning about others not being flexible.

MoanySloney · 05/12/2022 07:52

'Ignore those who don't get it'

What if the OPs friends are people who 'Don't get it'?!

Would you be happy if they cancelled on you for some random event in their hobby/interest. You're basically telling them they come second best to a passing interest because let's be honest here if you were that big a fan you wouldn't have anything booked.

PorridgewithQuark · 05/12/2022 07:55

QueenofLouisiana · 05/12/2022 07:23

I think it’s fine, with the caveat that you understand that you may not get another invitation.
I’d rather you didn’t come than make it obvious that you are keen to know the score/ get away to a screen. Far better all round.

I agree with this.

It's better to cancel today than closer to the time, but be aware that everyone's time is tight in December and you're sending a clear message about priorities.

If your aquaintences don't share your priorities about football they probably won't make the transition from aquaintences to friends if you essentially tell them you'd rather watch football on television than keep your dinner plans with them.

They'll quite likely still go for dinner without you, so I don't think you need to feel bad - just be aware that if you're trying to build yourself a new support/ friendship network (which I assume you are as you refer to them as school mums rather than friends but are going for dinner not a casual coffee) you're not doing yourself any favours.

WimpoleHat · 05/12/2022 07:56

Me and my family are England fans

Sorry - this jumped out to me. Are you a football fan? By that, I mean a year round one. You have a team you support, you regularly go to matches and everyone who’s friendly with you would know this? If you are, then they will know this and will understand why you want to cancel plans for which they’ve presumably gone to a lot of trouble (a Saturday before Christmas will require booking, they’ll have had to sort out childcare etc). If you are just one of those people who likes watching England on the TV, then I wouldn’t expect another invitation from them.

HappyOnion · 05/12/2022 07:57

DappledThings · 05/12/2022 07:51

And if they aren't and would prefer to go ahead as arranged OP will have to accept she is going to miss out and would be U to do any moaning about others not being flexible.

Show quote history

Absolutely.

GreenWheat · 05/12/2022 07:59

Regardless of the reason, you're giving plenty of notice that you can't make it. England playing in the quarter finals of the World Cup happens once every four years at most, dinner with a couple of local friends can happen a lot more often.

Allschoolsareartschools · 05/12/2022 08:01

Honestly I wouldn't cancel. I Iike football but you're going to find out the result anyway & you watching or not isn't going to change that.
You're allowed a sneaky look on your phone every now & then & it's not as if it's the final.

Afterfire · 05/12/2022 08:04

gogohmm · 05/12/2022 07:47

I'd be very unimpressed, just record it and watch when you get home.

It's only sport!

😳

No one who is into football would agree with this.

Theres no way you could possibly avoid finding out the score! Everyone will be watching it!

I would definitely cancel.

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 08:05

MoanySloney · 05/12/2022 07:52

'Ignore those who don't get it'

What if the OPs friends are people who 'Don't get it'?!

Would you be happy if they cancelled on you for some random event in their hobby/interest. You're basically telling them they come second best to a passing interest because let's be honest here if you were that big a fan you wouldn't have anything booked.

It really wouldn't upset me at all. Some people take cancellations far too personally.

You can't reschedule a football match - dinner is a normal, everyday event that can be moved to a different day 🤷🏻‍♀️

litlealligator · 05/12/2022 08:06

Do you know for sure that neither of them are into the football? You could always suggest that you just change the venue to somewhere with a screen so you could watch together?

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 08:06

Allschoolsareartschools · 05/12/2022 08:01

Honestly I wouldn't cancel. I Iike football but you're going to find out the result anyway & you watching or not isn't going to change that.
You're allowed a sneaky look on your phone every now & then & it's not as if it's the final.

I think it's much worse to show and spend the evening constantly checking your phone.

ImAvingOops · 05/12/2022 08:06

I think it's rude, sorry. Not everyone runs their lives around football schedules and your friends could well fall into that category. And I think that real life, the people you actually know, are more important than watching a sporting event on tv. The exception being if England made it up the actual final.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/12/2022 08:08

Yanbu. I'd message "hey, England are through to the next stage, and we are pretty football obsessed so I'm hoping we could rearrange Saturday? I'd be up for afternoon cocktails and food if anyone would prefer switching to earlier in the day? Or could do Friday eve? Totally get if this doesn't work for either of you, in which case have a lovely night and I'll be at the next one"

thinkponk48 · 05/12/2022 08:09

I wouldn't cancel as such, but I would ask can it be rearranged to Friday/Sunday or maybe lunch time

HappyOnion · 05/12/2022 08:09

Sorry, meant to add- whatever you do, don't pull a sickie. This is always so craply transparent and doubly so when there's an obvious reason like the football. It's also really unfair on the other people who might have preferred to change the plans themselves.

ifonly4 · 05/12/2022 08:09

I guess it depends how much you really want to get to know the other Mums. If you really want to watch, you could plan a late night and watch when you get home. We had a couples night out last week, and that's what some of us did in the group.

We're out next Saturday, a couple of the group have already commented it's the game, but I none of them will pull out as we just wouldn't let eachother down - also there just won't be another date we can do it before xmas.